Question:
Hi everybody! I took the petition over to my parents house so they could sign it tonite. My dad told me about this guy he used to work with that had p. When the guy quit his job, he didn't wipe anything off. Dad said there were flakes on EVERYTHING! The desk, chair, keyboard, phone, etc. He just left it for someone else to clean up. He must've had p. pretty bad & all over - I really do feel for the guy - but that is so wrong! That's like shaving & leaving all the little hairs all over everything, no one wants that! :eek:
I concur.
Yick.
i agree with you and yick. that's bad.
have a good day all
richard :D
I have to wipe down my desk every day I flake so bad. If I don't clean my desk, co-workers make smart a$$ comments to me. I've taken to cleaning my desk as a form of self defense, I work with some not so nice people.
I have to wipe down my desk every day I flake so bad. If I don't clean my desk, co-workers make smart a$$ comments to me. I've taken to cleaning my desk as a form of self defense, I work with some not so nice people.
Aw, Sue.. that's unfortunate. People are RUDE. Just keep in mind re: those not so nice people, what goes around comes around!! :)
Aw, Sue.. that's unfortunate. People are RUDE. Just keep in mind re: those not so nice people, what goes around comes around!! :)
I know, it still pisses me off tho.
It would p!ss me off too.
If we leave hair in the sink or the tub..we clean it up. If we wet the toilet seat..we clean it up. If we leave coffee stains or food crumbs..we clean it up. In my own house where no one would insult me..I would clean up after a good picking. I think it's not so nice to leave any sort of mess behind no matter where we are or what caused it.
Annie
Well, what is one to do who lives with someone with psoriasis when that person doesn't clean up any of his flakes - from floor, chairs, table, couch, sink, etc. etc. I've been doing the cleaning up in silence out of consideration for his already poor self image.
That person needs to find self respect and take responsibility for his/her own body. This disease is no damn fun. But it doesn't give us the right not to participate in everyday life as we should. Damn we're allowed to slip and feel sorry for ourselves temporarily. But it is unacceptable to let this be a daily occurrence. Cleaning flakes isn't any different than flushing the toilet, picking up our own clothes or bringing a dirty glass to the dishwasher. When someone becomes so slovenly that they cannot perform a simple hygiene there are deeper issues to resolve. As a fellow sufferer who could cover a couch, I have to say that the person who won't clean up after themselves is in the wrong.
Annie
Well, what is one to do who lives with someone with psoriasis when that person doesn't clean up any of his flakes - from floor, chairs, table, couch, sink, etc. etc. I've been doing the cleaning up in silence out of consideration for his already poor self image.
Hmmm.. I'm assuming he is a child or teen from your screen name? Have you ever tried making a game out of it? Whoever cleans the most flakes gets a dollar, something like that? Depending on how old he is, maybe he could join the boards here for support. Everyone here either has P or has someone very close to them who has it. He's definitely not alone... I know talking to others who are going through the same thing has helped a lot of people here w/ their self-esteem & confidence. Good luck to you. :o
Jen
PS - If he is an adult, I agree with Annie! No excuse for not cleaning up after yourself, no matter if it's clothes, hair, or skin.
Jen,
You made an excellant point!! If the person is a child or a teen there are ways to teach him or her to be responsible and at the same time not embarrass them about their P. Just as you would say, "Annie, pick up those socks and put them in the hamper please" or "Annie, you just sneezed all over the glass coffee table, please get a paper towel & Windex" or "Annie, you flossed your entire lunch onto the bathroom mirror, clean it please!"; all of these are natural bodily functions that we need to be taught to be responsible for. So is P. We should do it as diplomatically as we do all the other instructing we do for our children. We need to set the example. We need to make them feel that having P does not make us abnormal. We just have an extra chore to deal with. (And sometimes it sucks!!!!!) It's okay to let them know that they can feel crappy and angry about it. We must also teach them that they shouldn't let it rule them and that they are in charge of their lives. But they can't use it as an excuse to not be responsible for themselves. It's our greatest gift to our children to be able to instill this sensibility in so many aspects of life. Excuse me for being a bit melancholy. I'm about to move a couple of thousand miles from my grown children. I'm proud to say that they are the ones holding me up at the moment. I guess I did a good job.
XOXO
Annie
"Annie, you flossed your entire lunch onto the bathroom mirror, clean it please
Good post Annie! And this one made me laugh out loud. :D
Thank you Annie and Jen for your replies. No, my son is not a child or teen anymore. It's embarassing to write this. Dave has had emotional problems most of his life and should be on meds for depression, but he didn't stay with it. The problems are numerous and complex and, quite frankley, I feel like a failure at times. He's the youngest of 6 children and the only one with such serious problems. He's refused to join the board here or even look at it. Avoidance and denial big time. I wish so much that he could be part of your wonderful, supportive community. Any further advise now that I've told you more?
How can you consider yourself a failure when you are here looking for help? All you can do is continue to provide him with unconditional love. But it needs to be peppered with a bit of tough love. If your son won't comply with the therapy and meds that he needs, it's pretty hard to force him to do so. It sounds like you could use a little support right now and this isn't such a bad place to begin. However, your son's case may require more than just this site. If he won't get help, perhaps you can seek some professional help and better understand what he needs. These disease is devastating at times. I wish you both the best. I'm sure there will be some more of our great members on who can lead you in the right direction.
Annie
Oh nooo. Please don't be embarassed. You are not a failure. You can do everything the same with each child & they still all turn out differently. I am sorry that I don't have any great advice for you. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm sorry he has to go through this. I will confess that I had a lot of anger and depression issues from my mid-teens to my mid-twenties. And I didn't even get psoriasis until I was 25! I was on Prozac for about 4 years. All I can say is that I guess I am growing out of it. Hopefully he will too. I've come to the unfavorable conclusion that there are just some things that are out of our control. I hate to be cliche, but when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I am almost 29 now, off Prozac, and taking one day at a time. I am still learning to accept the psoriasis, and I don't honestly think I would have made it had I not found these boards. I didn't mean to get on my own soapbox but I wish there were someway for him to know that there are SO many other people out there with the same thing that he has, going through the same feelings of anger, denial, and depression, but then turning them into acceptance, hope, and dare I say, even happiness. I hope someday he will realize that ignoring P will not make it go away. In fact, without any kind of treatment, it could just keep getting worse.
Please feel free to PM me or post here if you need to vent. Even if you can't get advice, it's good to let it out once in a while.
Jen
fptmom: It's always so sad to hear something like this -- and as is so often the case, one usually feels completely inadequate to offer much in the way of (genuinely) constructive help. I wish I had something incredibly profound to offer!
I DID want to say, though, that I agree with Annie -- the mere fact that YOU are here on your son's behalf speaks volumes. Why it is that one member of a family can be so "different" is one of life's great mysteries, it seems, and I'm betting that most of us share a similar experience within our own families, whether immediate or distant. I do -- my 44 YO brother is sitting in jail right now (for the umpteenth time) and my parents are putting themselves through the ringer, wondering what they did or didn't do. From my perspective, I'm not sure which is more gut-wrenching -- knowing my brother is in a (self-imposed) hellhole, or watching my parents beat themselves up.
Whether or not your son chooses to help himself, I hope you'll get help, FOR YOU -- for the sake of your entire family.
Wishing you peace!
Answers:
I concur.
Yick.
Answers:
i agree with you and yick. that's bad.
have a good day all
richard :D
Answers:
I have to wipe down my desk every day I flake so bad. If I don't clean my desk, co-workers make smart a$$ comments to me. I've taken to cleaning my desk as a form of self defense, I work with some not so nice people.
Answers:
I have to wipe down my desk every day I flake so bad. If I don't clean my desk, co-workers make smart a$$ comments to me. I've taken to cleaning my desk as a form of self defense, I work with some not so nice people.
Aw, Sue.. that's unfortunate. People are RUDE. Just keep in mind re: those not so nice people, what goes around comes around!! :)
Answers:
Aw, Sue.. that's unfortunate. People are RUDE. Just keep in mind re: those not so nice people, what goes around comes around!! :)
I know, it still pisses me off tho.
Answers:
It would p!ss me off too.
Answers:
If we leave hair in the sink or the tub..we clean it up. If we wet the toilet seat..we clean it up. If we leave coffee stains or food crumbs..we clean it up. In my own house where no one would insult me..I would clean up after a good picking. I think it's not so nice to leave any sort of mess behind no matter where we are or what caused it.
Annie
Answers:
Well, what is one to do who lives with someone with psoriasis when that person doesn't clean up any of his flakes - from floor, chairs, table, couch, sink, etc. etc. I've been doing the cleaning up in silence out of consideration for his already poor self image.
Answers:
That person needs to find self respect and take responsibility for his/her own body. This disease is no damn fun. But it doesn't give us the right not to participate in everyday life as we should. Damn we're allowed to slip and feel sorry for ourselves temporarily. But it is unacceptable to let this be a daily occurrence. Cleaning flakes isn't any different than flushing the toilet, picking up our own clothes or bringing a dirty glass to the dishwasher. When someone becomes so slovenly that they cannot perform a simple hygiene there are deeper issues to resolve. As a fellow sufferer who could cover a couch, I have to say that the person who won't clean up after themselves is in the wrong.
Annie
Answers:
Well, what is one to do who lives with someone with psoriasis when that person doesn't clean up any of his flakes - from floor, chairs, table, couch, sink, etc. etc. I've been doing the cleaning up in silence out of consideration for his already poor self image.
Hmmm.. I'm assuming he is a child or teen from your screen name? Have you ever tried making a game out of it? Whoever cleans the most flakes gets a dollar, something like that? Depending on how old he is, maybe he could join the boards here for support. Everyone here either has P or has someone very close to them who has it. He's definitely not alone... I know talking to others who are going through the same thing has helped a lot of people here w/ their self-esteem & confidence. Good luck to you. :o
Jen
Answers:
PS - If he is an adult, I agree with Annie! No excuse for not cleaning up after yourself, no matter if it's clothes, hair, or skin.
Answers:
Jen,
You made an excellant point!! If the person is a child or a teen there are ways to teach him or her to be responsible and at the same time not embarrass them about their P. Just as you would say, "Annie, pick up those socks and put them in the hamper please" or "Annie, you just sneezed all over the glass coffee table, please get a paper towel & Windex" or "Annie, you flossed your entire lunch onto the bathroom mirror, clean it please!"; all of these are natural bodily functions that we need to be taught to be responsible for. So is P. We should do it as diplomatically as we do all the other instructing we do for our children. We need to set the example. We need to make them feel that having P does not make us abnormal. We just have an extra chore to deal with. (And sometimes it sucks!!!!!) It's okay to let them know that they can feel crappy and angry about it. We must also teach them that they shouldn't let it rule them and that they are in charge of their lives. But they can't use it as an excuse to not be responsible for themselves. It's our greatest gift to our children to be able to instill this sensibility in so many aspects of life. Excuse me for being a bit melancholy. I'm about to move a couple of thousand miles from my grown children. I'm proud to say that they are the ones holding me up at the moment. I guess I did a good job.
XOXO
Annie
Answers:
"Annie, you flossed your entire lunch onto the bathroom mirror, clean it please
Good post Annie! And this one made me laugh out loud. :D
Answers:
Thank you Annie and Jen for your replies. No, my son is not a child or teen anymore. It's embarassing to write this. Dave has had emotional problems most of his life and should be on meds for depression, but he didn't stay with it. The problems are numerous and complex and, quite frankley, I feel like a failure at times. He's the youngest of 6 children and the only one with such serious problems. He's refused to join the board here or even look at it. Avoidance and denial big time. I wish so much that he could be part of your wonderful, supportive community. Any further advise now that I've told you more?
Answers:
How can you consider yourself a failure when you are here looking for help? All you can do is continue to provide him with unconditional love. But it needs to be peppered with a bit of tough love. If your son won't comply with the therapy and meds that he needs, it's pretty hard to force him to do so. It sounds like you could use a little support right now and this isn't such a bad place to begin. However, your son's case may require more than just this site. If he won't get help, perhaps you can seek some professional help and better understand what he needs. These disease is devastating at times. I wish you both the best. I'm sure there will be some more of our great members on who can lead you in the right direction.
Annie
Answers:
Oh nooo. Please don't be embarassed. You are not a failure. You can do everything the same with each child & they still all turn out differently. I am sorry that I don't have any great advice for you. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm sorry he has to go through this. I will confess that I had a lot of anger and depression issues from my mid-teens to my mid-twenties. And I didn't even get psoriasis until I was 25! I was on Prozac for about 4 years. All I can say is that I guess I am growing out of it. Hopefully he will too. I've come to the unfavorable conclusion that there are just some things that are out of our control. I hate to be cliche, but when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I am almost 29 now, off Prozac, and taking one day at a time. I am still learning to accept the psoriasis, and I don't honestly think I would have made it had I not found these boards. I didn't mean to get on my own soapbox but I wish there were someway for him to know that there are SO many other people out there with the same thing that he has, going through the same feelings of anger, denial, and depression, but then turning them into acceptance, hope, and dare I say, even happiness. I hope someday he will realize that ignoring P will not make it go away. In fact, without any kind of treatment, it could just keep getting worse.
Please feel free to PM me or post here if you need to vent. Even if you can't get advice, it's good to let it out once in a while.
Jen
Answers:
fptmom: It's always so sad to hear something like this -- and as is so often the case, one usually feels completely inadequate to offer much in the way of (genuinely) constructive help. I wish I had something incredibly profound to offer!
I DID want to say, though, that I agree with Annie -- the mere fact that YOU are here on your son's behalf speaks volumes. Why it is that one member of a family can be so "different" is one of life's great mysteries, it seems, and I'm betting that most of us share a similar experience within our own families, whether immediate or distant. I do -- my 44 YO brother is sitting in jail right now (for the umpteenth time) and my parents are putting themselves through the ringer, wondering what they did or didn't do. From my perspective, I'm not sure which is more gut-wrenching -- knowing my brother is in a (self-imposed) hellhole, or watching my parents beat themselves up.
Whether or not your son chooses to help himself, I hope you'll get help, FOR YOU -- for the sake of your entire family.
Wishing you peace!
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