Question:
When I heard that trees grow a new "ring" for each year they live, I thought, we humans are kind of like that: we grow a new layer of skin each year, and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our skin layers.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
Scott, are you okay?
Best,
MelissaLynn
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."
Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tiptop and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
I remember that fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
Yeah, I am ok, I am just laughing too hard at these. I had to share.
I was about to ask the same question Melissa! I am glad you are ok Scott!
Scott,,,I get silly like that,,,like now,,,i've been so silly,,,I don't know why,,I just feel happy,,,,, do you feel better now,,,,,, [SIZE=3]it seems your like this blondegoddess person,,,don't you see she is running in and out of all the rooms,,,,,she really needs help,,,,,,she's leaves her foot prints all over and they're muddy,,,,,, lmao[/SIZE]
misales,,,,do you feel your skin is like leaves from a tree????? :confused:
I'm sorry,,,use coconut oil!!!!! lol
BTW,,,BLONDEGODDESS,,,ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF???????? JUST FOLLOW YOUR FOOT PRINTS.... :D :D :D :D
Scott - Thanks for the laughs! That was one of my favorite segments on SNL. Got anymore? :D :D
Jolene
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was
call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Answers:
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Answers:
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
Answers:
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
Answers:
I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
Answers:
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Answers:
It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.
Answers:
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
Answers:
Scott, are you okay?
Best,
MelissaLynn
Answers:
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
Answers:
If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.
Answers:
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
Answers:
When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."
Answers:
Too bad you can't just grab a tree by the very tiptop and bend it clear over the ground and then let her fly, because I bet you'd be amazed at all the stuff that comes flying out.
Answers:
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Answers:
I remember that fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really on the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
Answers:
Yeah, I am ok, I am just laughing too hard at these. I had to share.
Answers:
I was about to ask the same question Melissa! I am glad you are ok Scott!
Answers:
Scott,,,I get silly like that,,,like now,,,i've been so silly,,,I don't know why,,I just feel happy,,,,, do you feel better now,,,,,, [SIZE=3]it seems your like this blondegoddess person,,,don't you see she is running in and out of all the rooms,,,,,she really needs help,,,,,,she's leaves her foot prints all over and they're muddy,,,,,, lmao[/SIZE]
misales,,,,do you feel your skin is like leaves from a tree????? :confused:
I'm sorry,,,use coconut oil!!!!! lol
Answers:
BTW,,,BLONDEGODDESS,,,ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF???????? JUST FOLLOW YOUR FOOT PRINTS.... :D :D :D :D
Answers:
Scott - Thanks for the laughs! That was one of my favorite segments on SNL. Got anymore? :D :D
Jolene
Answers:
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was
call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and
started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
Answers:
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our
children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
Answers:
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
1 2