Question:
Last night my girls (7 of us) and my guys (3 of them) decided to hit a very popular club in S.F. So we were there, chilling, dancing on the stage, doing a little banister dance action. We noticed one of our friend kept disappearing off, Mostly drinking at the bar. After about an hour on the stage we all decided to get some water, still our friend didnt come back yet. We danced ont he main floor for a bit, it was too crowded and decided tomove back to the stage ( for optimum attention plus scoping abilities of the boys) we saw our friend nearly past out and leaning against the wall.
She started to cry when she saw us, staggering, i had to hold on to her to keep her from falling. We found a table and she was hugging myself and another friend, crying and we couldnt figure out what was wrong. We knew she was drunk, it was obvious. But something else was up, finally she said it. A guy tried to rape her.
I couldnt get over the intial shock. I just held on to my friend as she cried. Our guys found us liek 15 mins later and we told them what happened. THey were ready to go search this bastard out and beat him down. Unfortunatly, it was dark and in her drunken state my friend couldnt remember his face. We asked her how many drinks she had... she said 6+. The club makes their drinks very strong. We made her drink water and took her to the bathroom im not sure how many times, we made her dance off her liquor and kept pointing out guys hoping she would remember his face and we can then do some fighting.
I may be a female but i will throw my fist in someone's face for something like this. I played the EXTREME BLOCKER for her the rest of the night. We noticed guys would come towards her and her drunken dance movements. I kept pulling her away and getting dirty looks from guys. I also had a few guys grab my arm or my leg when i was on stage. Jeeeze. Im with my girls and i have my guys to dance with already, OBVIOUS!!! Why do they still bother? We had to pull another friend as well as my cousin away from a few guys who've been following them the entire night.
Although its the next morning and i've already spoken to her, she sounds fine and i know she's safew and sober now. I cant help but be angry. You hear about this all the time, but its never happened to close to me before. So close to the people i love.
In the parking lot, a guy grabbed a girl. I heard her swearing at him and she smacked him. He punched her back. Her 3 other friends then jumped the guy. Stupid, he should've walked away. He got beat down. It took 3 bouncers as well as 4 other guys to pulls the girls away from that guy. He deserved it. I saw him grab her.
Someone tell me when the clubs became so dangerous? Although i tend to be muted in my violence. Last night, i was ready to fight.
When you put yourself in that kind of environment, you better go armed with a chastity belt and a Tazer gun. Bad things can easily happen when you surround yourself with alot of drunken strangers.
Personally I think you should have told the management what had happened, then informed the police also, and took your friend home. Your friend is probably not the first person he tried it on and won't be the last until he is finally caught. Fighting solves nothing, it creates more problems.
What are the police or the management gonna be able to do? get real.
i did let security know and told a few other girls in the bathrooms about a guy out there. Unfortunatly, like i said, my friend was so drunk, she cant recall even the littlest detail about this guy. Since we just know he's a male and the place was crawling with them, we did our best to try and search him out plus keep any guys away from her. We know what she's like when she's drunk, she would've thrown up in the car, so we made her dance most of her liquor off. So she could walk on her own and stagger slightly.
Fighting may not solve anything, but it least lets him know he picked the wrong chicks to mess with. Im still angry we didnt find the bastard.
When you put yourself in that kind of environment, you better go armed with a chastity belt and a Tazer gun. Bad things can easily happen when you surround yourself with alot of drunken strangers.
Scott,
Just because someone is in a club does not give anyone the right to physically abuse them! :mad: Yes, bad things can happen, and did in this case, but your statement is like saying if a woman dresses in an attractive manner, she's asking for it. That sort of attitude is wrong! :mad: When someone says no, it means no! This is how "date rape" happens.
Bren,
I'm so sorry this happenned to you and your friends. :( Thank god you were there for her, and she was able to avoid a far worse scenario, but she must be terrified. Please be careful, and watch your surroundings. There are too many people out there who will take advantage of someone who has had too much to drink, and is vulnerable. :( I'm not a violent person, but if I had been with you, I'd have been ready for some serious a** kicking myself! :mad: Take care, sweetie. ;)
Kim
[QUOTE]Just because someone is in a club does not give anyone the right to physically abuse them! Yes, bad things can happen, and did in this case, but your statement is like saying if a woman dresses in an attractive manner, she's asking for it. That sort of attitude is wrong! When someone says no, it means no! This is how "date rape" happens.
you are right kim. when you go to a place that is safe it should be that way. any thing that happens in there should be told to the person that owns it or is in charge of it. people need to give people respeced. buy telling the person that is there just mite help it from happening to some one eles.
that is my 2 cents.
i feel so bad that some thing like this can happen. people have to watch out for others.
have a safe night all
richard
ok ...guys and gals just wanna have fun!
[SIZE=6]so next time you all go out clubbin' appoint one "designated watcher" and driver![/SIZE]
what a jack a**....hope he gets caught...and don't take any drinks from strangers...always keep your glass with you! there are some real jerks out there.......
Ya know Scott, quite a bit. They will tend to look out more for sexual predators. Being a sexual predator is a sickness....you can not turn it off. If he did it to her friend, chances are she wasn't the first, and definately won't be the last. Making management and the police aware of such situations will increase the chances of finding him if it happens again (and I hope to God it doesn't). People like that think they will never get caught, and that's their biggest downfall. They start getting braver each and everytime they do it and don't get caught. They think they are untouchable and then they make the fatal mistake. The one mistake that gets them caught. Don't delude yourself, Scott, telling managemment and the police make all the difference in the world. What would you do if someone tried to do it to you??? Better rethink your comment.
A woman DOES has a right to say no at any point, and I mean any point...I feel a man being drunk is no excuse...He probably would have done it if he had been stone cold sober...I wish you would have called the police...
I would have everyone get at least a can of pepper spray...I have had one on my key chain for years...All I have to say is if anyone wants to mess with me they had better be prepared for a fight..I am not a small woman and I am pretty strong....I imagine I could drop kick just about any guy quite a ways...If I have been there I would have helped kick the living crap outta the guy! By the way I am not a violent person either!
What are the police or the management gonna be able to do? get real.
Scott I do believe attemped rape is a crime, punishable by law, which means the person may perhaps get locked up....
See this is when I would have loved to been there,,,,I also would have beat the shit out of him,,,,wished he could have been identified,,,and Scott,,,shame on you to have that attitude,,,,,,so what your saying is ,,,cause she was drunk,,,that made it right,,,what about when you guys get drunk,,,do you have to worry about girls raping you,,,I don't think so,,,you should re-word your thoughts,,,cause it makes you sound like you would allow something to happen like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:
Now I'm not saying she shouldn't have drank that much,,,but she did not,,,did not,,,, deserve that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW,,,,THAN YOU GUYS SHOULD WEAR,,,,[SIZE=6]jock straps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]for your little ,,itty,,bitty,,,[/SIZE][SIZE=1]weiners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]You go Arlie! I knew you would want to get in on this one...They would have to shop at the bitty league store Arlie! Thanks for your 10 cents![/SIZE]
BTW,,,,THAN YOU GUYS SHOULD WEAR,,,,[SIZE=6]jock straps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]for your little ,,itty,,bitty,,,[/SIZE][SIZE=1]weiners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]
Arl,
My thoughts exactly, but you know how to say it better than me. :D
Girls need to go out too!!!!!! :)
Granny
[SIZE=7]ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]!
Okay, I'm ready to get slammed for this one....
You're all so right when you say that when a woman says no, at any point, that no needs to be respected, regardless of the condition she may be in.
And you're right when you say that we should be able to go out and have fun and be safe.
And we should be able to dress as we wish without it being an invitation to sexual assault.
However, let's not pretend that we don't know what it's like out there in the real world. We read about it every day. Guys slipping drugs into girls drinks, date rape, serial killers.
There was not much the cops or the management could have, or rather, would have done. She couldn't identify the person and she was intoxicated. What do you think their response would have been? I don't think she should have stayed there. I think that she should have been brought home. She was traumatized.
I don't think Scott was ever suggesting that Brenda's friend caused her assault, just that it merely isn't safe out there. There are preditors who wait around for the opportunity to take advantage of these situations. If you want a great SAFE night out dancing and drinking, you need to set limits and and not lose sight of one another.
It's scarey out there.
Brenda, I hope your friend is all right. Thank God something worse didn't happen. Tell her we are thinking of her.
XOXO
Hey granny if you want to have a really good time talk to Arlie on the phone....She is a HOOT!! But I kinda miss the commas! LOL!!!
I agree with Annie!
Yes,,,very well said Annie,,,,,I was looking for your name on the voting list,,,but I didn't see it,,,I would vote for you!!!! Would you vote for me?????
debber,,,what do ya think???? but I have to wear some sort of sexy thongs,,,,now really,,that would have to be in my budget or forget it!!!!!!!!
Not to change the subject but,,,you know who looks like they would make a nice FIRST LADY????? ANNA NICOLE SMITH,,,,LMAO
WAIT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WHO HER HUSBAND WOULD BE,,,,,,,,,,,,,
THE ONE AND ONLY,,,,HOWIE STERN!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO
Rape is a physically and emotionally devastating crime... indeed an assault on our dignity and safety. Let us please remember that this is no laughing matter.
Scott,
I feel I owe you an apology. I apparently took your comments out of context. I did not mean to attack you personally, it was the subject that got me a bit hot. And I have to agree that women have to be particularly careful in such situations. There are just too many predators out there waiting to take advantage if we don't remain alert, or have someone designated to keep an eye on things. Please keep this in mind when out in a public situation where the danger is very real.
Peace :)
Kim
Bren,
So sorry to hear that this happened. No person should EVER touch another without their consent: male or female.
Please keep an eye your friend. She may seem fine on the surface but she could have some severe emotional/psychological issues as a result. For this reason alone I wish the authorities were involved. She would have been put in touch with professional counselors who know who to deal with this issue.
In case anyone here is in a similar position (AND I PRAY TO GOD THAT NEVER OCCURS), another good reason for police involvement is because they can collect physical evidence. I know that isn't easy for the victim and might not have helped in this instance but it is VERY important. Most sexual predators are not one time offenders. If someone his caught down the road for rape,
he may be linked to other offenses due to previous evidence collected.
That club sounds like a shitty place. Doesn't seem like they actively try to prevent overtly aggresive behavior until after the fact. Perhaps that is another reason authorities need to know about this.
Brenda, my heart go out to you and your friend and please like I said keep an eye on her.
Take care F.M.
She started to cry when she saw us, staggering, i had to hold on to her to keep her from falling. We found a table and she was hugging myself and another friend, crying and we couldnt figure out what was wrong. We knew she was drunk, it was obvious. But something else was up, finally she said it. A guy tried to rape her.
I couldnt get over the intial shock. I just held on to my friend as she cried. Our guys found us liek 15 mins later and we told them what happened. THey were ready to go search this bastard out and beat him down. Unfortunatly, it was dark and in her drunken state my friend couldnt remember his face. We asked her how many drinks she had... she said 6+. The club makes their drinks very strong. We made her drink water and took her to the bathroom im not sure how many times, we made her dance off her liquor and kept pointing out guys hoping she would remember his face and we can then do some fighting.
I may be a female but i will throw my fist in someone's face for something like this. I played the EXTREME BLOCKER for her the rest of the night. We noticed guys would come towards her and her drunken dance movements. I kept pulling her away and getting dirty looks from guys. I also had a few guys grab my arm or my leg when i was on stage. Jeeeze. Im with my girls and i have my guys to dance with already, OBVIOUS!!! Why do they still bother? We had to pull another friend as well as my cousin away from a few guys who've been following them the entire night.
Although its the next morning and i've already spoken to her, she sounds fine and i know she's safew and sober now. I cant help but be angry. You hear about this all the time, but its never happened to close to me before. So close to the people i love.
In the parking lot, a guy grabbed a girl. I heard her swearing at him and she smacked him. He punched her back. Her 3 other friends then jumped the guy. Stupid, he should've walked away. He got beat down. It took 3 bouncers as well as 4 other guys to pulls the girls away from that guy. He deserved it. I saw him grab her.
Someone tell me when the clubs became so dangerous? Although i tend to be muted in my violence. Last night, i was ready to fight.
Answers:
When you put yourself in that kind of environment, you better go armed with a chastity belt and a Tazer gun. Bad things can easily happen when you surround yourself with alot of drunken strangers.
Answers:
Personally I think you should have told the management what had happened, then informed the police also, and took your friend home. Your friend is probably not the first person he tried it on and won't be the last until he is finally caught. Fighting solves nothing, it creates more problems.
Answers:
What are the police or the management gonna be able to do? get real.
Answers:
i did let security know and told a few other girls in the bathrooms about a guy out there. Unfortunatly, like i said, my friend was so drunk, she cant recall even the littlest detail about this guy. Since we just know he's a male and the place was crawling with them, we did our best to try and search him out plus keep any guys away from her. We know what she's like when she's drunk, she would've thrown up in the car, so we made her dance most of her liquor off. So she could walk on her own and stagger slightly.
Fighting may not solve anything, but it least lets him know he picked the wrong chicks to mess with. Im still angry we didnt find the bastard.
Answers:
When you put yourself in that kind of environment, you better go armed with a chastity belt and a Tazer gun. Bad things can easily happen when you surround yourself with alot of drunken strangers.
Scott,
Just because someone is in a club does not give anyone the right to physically abuse them! :mad: Yes, bad things can happen, and did in this case, but your statement is like saying if a woman dresses in an attractive manner, she's asking for it. That sort of attitude is wrong! :mad: When someone says no, it means no! This is how "date rape" happens.
Bren,
I'm so sorry this happenned to you and your friends. :( Thank god you were there for her, and she was able to avoid a far worse scenario, but she must be terrified. Please be careful, and watch your surroundings. There are too many people out there who will take advantage of someone who has had too much to drink, and is vulnerable. :( I'm not a violent person, but if I had been with you, I'd have been ready for some serious a** kicking myself! :mad: Take care, sweetie. ;)
Kim
Answers:
[QUOTE]Just because someone is in a club does not give anyone the right to physically abuse them! Yes, bad things can happen, and did in this case, but your statement is like saying if a woman dresses in an attractive manner, she's asking for it. That sort of attitude is wrong! When someone says no, it means no! This is how "date rape" happens.
you are right kim. when you go to a place that is safe it should be that way. any thing that happens in there should be told to the person that owns it or is in charge of it. people need to give people respeced. buy telling the person that is there just mite help it from happening to some one eles.
that is my 2 cents.
i feel so bad that some thing like this can happen. people have to watch out for others.
have a safe night all
richard
Answers:
ok ...guys and gals just wanna have fun!
[SIZE=6]so next time you all go out clubbin' appoint one "designated watcher" and driver![/SIZE]
what a jack a**....hope he gets caught...and don't take any drinks from strangers...always keep your glass with you! there are some real jerks out there.......
Answers:
Ya know Scott, quite a bit. They will tend to look out more for sexual predators. Being a sexual predator is a sickness....you can not turn it off. If he did it to her friend, chances are she wasn't the first, and definately won't be the last. Making management and the police aware of such situations will increase the chances of finding him if it happens again (and I hope to God it doesn't). People like that think they will never get caught, and that's their biggest downfall. They start getting braver each and everytime they do it and don't get caught. They think they are untouchable and then they make the fatal mistake. The one mistake that gets them caught. Don't delude yourself, Scott, telling managemment and the police make all the difference in the world. What would you do if someone tried to do it to you??? Better rethink your comment.
Answers:
A woman DOES has a right to say no at any point, and I mean any point...I feel a man being drunk is no excuse...He probably would have done it if he had been stone cold sober...I wish you would have called the police...
I would have everyone get at least a can of pepper spray...I have had one on my key chain for years...All I have to say is if anyone wants to mess with me they had better be prepared for a fight..I am not a small woman and I am pretty strong....I imagine I could drop kick just about any guy quite a ways...If I have been there I would have helped kick the living crap outta the guy! By the way I am not a violent person either!
Answers:
What are the police or the management gonna be able to do? get real.
Scott I do believe attemped rape is a crime, punishable by law, which means the person may perhaps get locked up....
Answers:
See this is when I would have loved to been there,,,,I also would have beat the shit out of him,,,,wished he could have been identified,,,and Scott,,,shame on you to have that attitude,,,,,,so what your saying is ,,,cause she was drunk,,,that made it right,,,what about when you guys get drunk,,,do you have to worry about girls raping you,,,I don't think so,,,you should re-word your thoughts,,,cause it makes you sound like you would allow something to happen like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:
Now I'm not saying she shouldn't have drank that much,,,but she did not,,,did not,,,, deserve that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answers:
BTW,,,,THAN YOU GUYS SHOULD WEAR,,,,[SIZE=6]jock straps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]for your little ,,itty,,bitty,,,[/SIZE][SIZE=1]weiners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]
Answers:
[SIZE=4]You go Arlie! I knew you would want to get in on this one...They would have to shop at the bitty league store Arlie! Thanks for your 10 cents![/SIZE]
Answers:
BTW,,,,THAN YOU GUYS SHOULD WEAR,,,,[SIZE=6]jock straps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]for your little ,,itty,,bitty,,,[/SIZE][SIZE=1]weiners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]
Answers:
Arl,
My thoughts exactly, but you know how to say it better than me. :D
Girls need to go out too!!!!!! :)
Granny
Answers:
[SIZE=7]ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]!
Answers:
Okay, I'm ready to get slammed for this one....
You're all so right when you say that when a woman says no, at any point, that no needs to be respected, regardless of the condition she may be in.
And you're right when you say that we should be able to go out and have fun and be safe.
And we should be able to dress as we wish without it being an invitation to sexual assault.
However, let's not pretend that we don't know what it's like out there in the real world. We read about it every day. Guys slipping drugs into girls drinks, date rape, serial killers.
There was not much the cops or the management could have, or rather, would have done. She couldn't identify the person and she was intoxicated. What do you think their response would have been? I don't think she should have stayed there. I think that she should have been brought home. She was traumatized.
I don't think Scott was ever suggesting that Brenda's friend caused her assault, just that it merely isn't safe out there. There are preditors who wait around for the opportunity to take advantage of these situations. If you want a great SAFE night out dancing and drinking, you need to set limits and and not lose sight of one another.
It's scarey out there.
Brenda, I hope your friend is all right. Thank God something worse didn't happen. Tell her we are thinking of her.
XOXO
Answers:
Hey granny if you want to have a really good time talk to Arlie on the phone....She is a HOOT!! But I kinda miss the commas! LOL!!!
I agree with Annie!
Answers:
Yes,,,very well said Annie,,,,,I was looking for your name on the voting list,,,but I didn't see it,,,I would vote for you!!!! Would you vote for me?????
debber,,,what do ya think???? but I have to wear some sort of sexy thongs,,,,now really,,that would have to be in my budget or forget it!!!!!!!!
Not to change the subject but,,,you know who looks like they would make a nice FIRST LADY????? ANNA NICOLE SMITH,,,,LMAO
Answers:
WAIT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WHO HER HUSBAND WOULD BE,,,,,,,,,,,,,
THE ONE AND ONLY,,,,HOWIE STERN!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO
Answers:
Rape is a physically and emotionally devastating crime... indeed an assault on our dignity and safety. Let us please remember that this is no laughing matter.
Answers:
Scott,
I feel I owe you an apology. I apparently took your comments out of context. I did not mean to attack you personally, it was the subject that got me a bit hot. And I have to agree that women have to be particularly careful in such situations. There are just too many predators out there waiting to take advantage if we don't remain alert, or have someone designated to keep an eye on things. Please keep this in mind when out in a public situation where the danger is very real.
Peace :)
Kim
Answers:
Bren,
So sorry to hear that this happened. No person should EVER touch another without their consent: male or female.
Please keep an eye your friend. She may seem fine on the surface but she could have some severe emotional/psychological issues as a result. For this reason alone I wish the authorities were involved. She would have been put in touch with professional counselors who know who to deal with this issue.
In case anyone here is in a similar position (AND I PRAY TO GOD THAT NEVER OCCURS), another good reason for police involvement is because they can collect physical evidence. I know that isn't easy for the victim and might not have helped in this instance but it is VERY important. Most sexual predators are not one time offenders. If someone his caught down the road for rape,
he may be linked to other offenses due to previous evidence collected.
That club sounds like a shitty place. Doesn't seem like they actively try to prevent overtly aggresive behavior until after the fact. Perhaps that is another reason authorities need to know about this.
Brenda, my heart go out to you and your friend and please like I said keep an eye on her.
Take care F.M.
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