Question:
I woke up this morning (as I do every morning lol) and got out of bed..... Was going to go out for a walk so I went to go change and I have mirror closet doors, for once in a LONG time I looked at my self in the mirror and what I saw was horrible and what I felt was disgust! I wanted to turn away but I couldnt I felt like I was glued at looking at the mirror. Looking at what used to be beautiful skin and now is nothing but hard, scally, red, itchy ugly looking skin. Why does this happen and why does this happen to good people is what I kept thinking! For the first time in about a year I actually looked at my arms and saw that from above my elbows down to my hands there is NOT ONE clear piece of skin.... I couldnt believe it and I still can't!!!! I guess for a long time I didnt want to deal with acutally looking at it through a mirror and part of me wishes I never had BUT I can say I am going to fight this awful stuff with everything I have and find whatever it is out there that is going to help me! So as the tears started flowing and I was starting to feel bad for myself something somewhere just gave me this boost and now instead of being sad and mad at the world I have decided that I am going to just be mad at this disease! Then I started to get ready and put on the radio and could you believe it the song by Christina Aguleria came on "i am beautiful" ( I am beautiful, no matter what they say words can't bring me down!!!la la la) and so then I started crying again and thinking about how many times I have let some irrigant person bring my self-esteem down with there comments on "ew what is that", the stares, the occasional mother pulling their child away because they think I am some kind of freak!!!! Or even that store employee telling me I could not enter the store with "that stuff"!!!! Well, i am done!!!! I do not care what other people think of me for what I look like on the outside, I know I am beautiful on the inside and have the heart of gold (now how about the confidence) and ALL OF YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL to me. I know I am not alone, especailly since I have found this website and ALL OF YOU!!!! You have helped me with so much. Information, kind words and you also have helped me make a big step today in looking in the mirror.... So what I am trying to say is THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!! Sorry this was so long but just wanted you all to know how I felt!!!!! I hope that I can be there for you like you are for me....... Mitch, Annie, Taryn, Karen, Kim, Steve, Melissa and anyone else I forgot you really have become my angels!!!!!!!!
Katie...
I remember one time staring into the mirror and saying how ugly I was... until my eyes blurred and the image staring back at me was a... pig! I was a piece of garbage... a horrible ugly dirty rotten smelly animal. I didn't deserve to breathe the same air as a "normal" human being. I was a foul creature... A tear rolled down my eye and I turned myself away from the mirror... And I swear to you... I DID see a pig staring back at me!! It took a long time to look into the mirror and like the reflection that was staring back at me... a very long time. But... it did happen. And... eventually, I got to the point where I would look into the mirror and smile with delight!! I didn't see a pig looking back at him... I saw a handsome, funny, fun-loving guy who was really quite a special fellow who had so much love and goodness to offer. I understand where you're coming from for I was there a long time ago. You, Katie, are a blessing. You are a joy and a treasure. Remember that. Remember that always!! You, too, are special and yes... you ARE beautiful in every single way. Don't despair. You are a wonderful person with a glorious, golden soul. This disease is hideous. We all have gotten a little down because of it...sometimes... we've gotten to the very bowels of despair because of it. We feel you're pain and I feel it probably more than others. But, you are beautiful and channel your anger or tears to a courageous fight to battle this disease with all of your heart, mind and soul. I send blessings to you. Feel free to PM me anytime. God Bless...
Joe
Answers:
Katie...
I remember one time staring into the mirror and saying how ugly I was... until my eyes blurred and the image staring back at me was a... pig! I was a piece of garbage... a horrible ugly dirty rotten smelly animal. I didn't deserve to breathe the same air as a "normal" human being. I was a foul creature... A tear rolled down my eye and I turned myself away from the mirror... And I swear to you... I DID see a pig staring back at me!! It took a long time to look into the mirror and like the reflection that was staring back at me... a very long time. But... it did happen. And... eventually, I got to the point where I would look into the mirror and smile with delight!! I didn't see a pig looking back at him... I saw a handsome, funny, fun-loving guy who was really quite a special fellow who had so much love and goodness to offer. I understand where you're coming from for I was there a long time ago. You, Katie, are a blessing. You are a joy and a treasure. Remember that. Remember that always!! You, too, are special and yes... you ARE beautiful in every single way. Don't despair. You are a wonderful person with a glorious, golden soul. This disease is hideous. We all have gotten a little down because of it...sometimes... we've gotten to the very bowels of despair because of it. We feel you're pain and I feel it probably more than others. But, you are beautiful and channel your anger or tears to a courageous fight to battle this disease with all of your heart, mind and soul. I send blessings to you. Feel free to PM me anytime. God Bless...
Joe
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