Question:
1 Attachment(s)
This is a thread for jokes & and anything else you people find funny, we shall call it Tea time Tuesday!So, every Tuseday post a joke or 2!! :D
IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
1 Attachment(s) Sally,
Good ones thanks!! hahaha
TUESDAY
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding.The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and
then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir,
have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"
1 Attachment(s) Thanks for the laughs!!!
:D too funny hey molly how do i get a gif on my sig like you have?????
:mad:
What do Brittany Spears and PEPSI have in common?
They both have plastic juggs.
What is 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?
Bo Derek getting older...
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke!
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
Pammie check over at Deb's fun house , Molly tells how to get your gif on there!
Adam Talks All About Eve
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
hahahaha good jokes keep ummm commin.....Deb they took the fun out of this I am so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my favorite "gifs" I like I can't use cause they said I have already used them...THATS BULL S**T....PLEASE CHANGE IT BACK NOT FAIR:mad:
DO A POST TO WEBMASTER ...........ERIC
I sent mine
1 Attachment(s) Good Idea sally I will send mine!!
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel
across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel,
and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin'
bad."
Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to
temptation."
Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the
Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite
ill."
luv it sally ,hahahaha
Blonde joke
John gets a call from his very blonde girl friend Buffy . I've got a problem says Buffy Whats the matter ? asks John Well I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but It's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges. What's the picture of? asks John It's a big rooster. Replies Buffy All right says john I'll be right over and have a look.
So he goes over to Buffys house and she greets him by saying Thanks for coming over, Buffy leads john into her kitchen and shows him the puzzle on the table John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says. " For heavens sake Buffy put, the corn flakes back in the box":D
A woman steps out of a convenience store and notices a very unusual funeral procession. There is the hearse, followed by a second hearse and then a solitary woman walking behind them with a pit bull on a leash. And behind her is a long single line of nearly 200 women.
Not wanting to seem unsensitive she is driven to ask this woman the circumstances of this procession. And the woman tells her that it is her husband in the first car. Her pit bull killed him. And in the second car is her mother-in-law who attempted to save her son in the attack.
The women exchange a long meaningful knowing glance and the women making the inquiries asks if she might borrow the dog. The woman walking the dog simply replies, "Of course, get in line."
Originally posted by einna
A woman steps out of a convenience store and notices a very unusual funeral procession. There is the hearse, followed by a second hearse and then a solitary woman walking behind them with a pit bull on a leash. And behind her is a long single line of nearly 200 women.
Not wanting to seem unsensitive she is driven to ask this woman the circumstances of this procession. And the woman tells her that it is her husband in the first car. Her pit bull killed him. And in the second car is her mother-in-law who attempted to save her son in the attack.
The women exchange a long meaningful knowing glance and the women making the inquiries asks if she might borrow the dog. The woman walking the dog simply replies, "Of course, get in line."
OK....out of my way!....I'm going to the front of THAT line!! :D
Come on guys ..we need more jokes:D
>
> Doctor's Funeral
>
> A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.
>
> A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service.
>
> Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
>
> The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
>
> At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
>
> When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of
my
> own funeral; "I'm a gynecologist."
>
> And that's when the proctologist fainted.
>
An old farmer had a beautiful back yard with picnic tables, horseshoe court, and a pond fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, and look it over. As he approached the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator".
1 Attachment(s) :D :p Thanks lottie great jokes sweetie...hahahahahahaha
A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
That's a good one, Kimmy!
Answers:
IT'S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) Sally,
Good ones thanks!! hahaha
Answers:
TUESDAY
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding.The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and
then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir,
have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) Thanks for the laughs!!!
Answers:
:D too funny hey molly how do i get a gif on my sig like you have?????
Answers:
:mad:
Answers:
What do Brittany Spears and PEPSI have in common?
They both have plastic juggs.
What is 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1?
Bo Derek getting older...
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke!
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
Pammie check over at Deb's fun house , Molly tells how to get your gif on there!
Answers:
Adam Talks All About Eve
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her.
Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?
God: So you will always want to look at her.
Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?
God: So you will always want to touch her.
Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?
God: So you will always want to be near her.
Adam: That's wonderful Lord, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she would love you.
Answers:
hahahaha good jokes keep ummm commin.....Deb they took the fun out of this I am so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my favorite "gifs" I like I can't use cause they said I have already used them...THATS BULL S**T....PLEASE CHANGE IT BACK NOT FAIR:mad:
Answers:
DO A POST TO WEBMASTER ...........ERIC
Answers:
I sent mine
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) Good Idea sally I will send mine!!
Answers:
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel
across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel,
and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin'
bad."
Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said,
"Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to
temptation."
Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the
Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite
ill."
Answers:
luv it sally ,hahahaha
Answers:
Blonde joke
John gets a call from his very blonde girl friend Buffy . I've got a problem says Buffy Whats the matter ? asks John Well I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but It's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges. What's the picture of? asks John It's a big rooster. Replies Buffy All right says john I'll be right over and have a look.
So he goes over to Buffys house and she greets him by saying Thanks for coming over, Buffy leads john into her kitchen and shows him the puzzle on the table John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says. " For heavens sake Buffy put, the corn flakes back in the box":D
Answers:
A woman steps out of a convenience store and notices a very unusual funeral procession. There is the hearse, followed by a second hearse and then a solitary woman walking behind them with a pit bull on a leash. And behind her is a long single line of nearly 200 women.
Not wanting to seem unsensitive she is driven to ask this woman the circumstances of this procession. And the woman tells her that it is her husband in the first car. Her pit bull killed him. And in the second car is her mother-in-law who attempted to save her son in the attack.
The women exchange a long meaningful knowing glance and the women making the inquiries asks if she might borrow the dog. The woman walking the dog simply replies, "Of course, get in line."
Answers:
Originally posted by einna
A woman steps out of a convenience store and notices a very unusual funeral procession. There is the hearse, followed by a second hearse and then a solitary woman walking behind them with a pit bull on a leash. And behind her is a long single line of nearly 200 women.
Not wanting to seem unsensitive she is driven to ask this woman the circumstances of this procession. And the woman tells her that it is her husband in the first car. Her pit bull killed him. And in the second car is her mother-in-law who attempted to save her son in the attack.
The women exchange a long meaningful knowing glance and the women making the inquiries asks if she might borrow the dog. The woman walking the dog simply replies, "Of course, get in line."
OK....out of my way!....I'm going to the front of THAT line!! :D
Answers:
Come on guys ..we need more jokes:D
Answers:
>
> Doctor's Funeral
>
> A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.
>
> A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service.
>
> Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
>
> The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
>
> At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
>
> When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of
my
> own funeral; "I'm a gynecologist."
>
> And that's when the proctologist fainted.
>
Answers:
An old farmer had a beautiful back yard with picnic tables, horseshoe court, and a pond fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, and look it over. As he approached the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came to feed the alligator".
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) :D :p Thanks lottie great jokes sweetie...hahahahahahaha
Answers:
A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
Answers:
That's a good one, Kimmy!
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