Question:
Hey there
Hi everybody, this is StarrFriendly. I was just diagnosed less than a month ago. Other than my p, I am a healthy 21 with a normal love life.
I wanted to ask everyone in the dating pool, how has your psoriasis affected your dating life? Are you more self-conscious? Do you avoid dating all together? Does it affect you at all?
I'm curious. I'm not asking about graphics, I just wonder how its affected the way you look at yourself
Hope to get some replies
Amber
I have all but given up on the dating scene...
I'm 35 F--I have had too many bad experiences due to my "P"
My most recent mishap was 4 weeks ago-
I went on a date with (what i thought was a nice guy)
We had fun- laughed a lot- when went out 3 times-
on the 3rd date I decided that i would talk to him about Psoriasis
(I was getting REALLY stressed thinking about telling him but thought i should just do it) He seemed like he was ok with it, he asked lots of questions...he never called again. JERK!
This is not the first time this has happened to me--so i give up!
I hate feeling this way but after many experiences similiar to my most recent upset- it takes a toll on your self esteem. I'm just not ready to put myself thru this over & over again! I am a good person and I dont like being treated like shit anymore.
So i guess I will just be an old maid with cats
(I don't like cats-(I'm allergic) I guess i will be alone!!!!) AAAAAaaaaaahhhh!
Most guys are so concerned with physical appearance and that is sad. I believe women tend to be much more sensative to the subject of dating someone with P. I am a 25 year old male and never had a problem with dating really. I also never brought up my P until I had to which gives the person a little more time to know the you behind the skin. I know it is sort of dishonest(I like to use mysterious) but it is very hard for someone who hardly knows you to understand if you come right out and say.."by the way, 60% of my body is covered with red scally patches, so let's go back to my place." But don't give up on all guys. There are some of us out there who are not as shallow as the ring of water your cool drink leaves on the table on a hot day.
Tara, Amber,
Don't give up hope. I just met my husband (second marriage)7 years ago. I met him just about the time I decided I wanted to be alone because what was out there wasn't worth my time. He has actually cried WITH me and FOR me when my P was at an all time flair.
P is a good way to weed out the bad ones. Anyone who can't see beyond your skin to your heart and soul isn't someone who you could live happily ever after with.
In the meantime, live life to its fullest. It doesn't take a man to complete your life or to make you happy. That comes from within.
Happy hunting!
XO
date? what's a date?
Hello Happygirl,
I am sorry you are new to p but but none the less I am glad you found us!
I have been married a good many years and so I cannot advise you on dating...My hubby tell me everyday how beautiful I am....I really do not think when he looks at me he even notices the p...
And Annie is right a man who cares more about your skin than your heart and soul is not worth your time...I am sure one day that special man will come along....
I know I dont need a man--but on a lonely cold winters night it would be nice to have somebody to cuddle with...I have just given up for a while --while I work on making me happy!!!
I still would like to be married with kids but who knows...
someday my millionaire will come!!!!
I'm 22, and have had P for almost 2 years. My sister has it as well for about as long as i have-and has been dating-without any problems from the guys--once they know her -it doesn't seem to bother them-(plus doesnt hurt that shes a beautiful girl ) and it isnt a major issue at all with them--but she doesn't date as many jerks as she used to because of it-she actually gets to know them first and goes out with better guys haha
I on the other hand, am having a much harder time with it.Right now, I could wear pants,long sleeved shirts and just brush my hair in a ponytail an exact way and people wouldnt know.
But i dont want to meet people (potential friends or bf's) and then have to tell, actually show them someday what I have.
It seems kinda like "smoke and mirrors" to me-to cover up--let my personality win them over and then say "i have a bad skin condition that will never go away--i'm not a mermaid, thats psoriasis on my legs" haha
So i've become quite the hermit and have watched a lot of tv and dvds (thank god for buffy the vampire slayer haha)--not very exciting -but keeps my mind off things til i can work through my issues with it.
There is a guy in my life, who was my friend but wants to date now--we both do actually, i just never admitted it haha -he doesn't know that i have P though and i dont want to tell him so i just make excuses why i wont-and it hurts a lot to pass up on relationships, but i just cant handle it now--im sure he would be fine with it-but i'm not. If that makes sense.
I'm sure if people are really your friend, they won't look down on you for it--but sympathy from people who have no idea whats it like and are thinking, even say how sorry they are for me is just as bad as if someone said something cruel about it. I haven't been adjusting well at all-I feel like my life is over before its even begun. My sister isn't always cheery and of course has her days when she feels bad about it-but she has kids,a good job, friends and i think because of that she has the will to have a life.
I hope what i've said about myself hasn't made you feel like you can't have a life-i'm just having a very hard time with it personally--but not everyone hides : ) My sister is very outgoing and has a "normal" life, friends, bf's--the same as she was before. So i hope you find the peace and strength to meet people too.
well the older you get the more you tend to look for things in the opposite sex besides raw good looks. true that men look more to the physical attraction but women tend to look at the money and the things that money buys. i was out the other night and some lady came up to me telling me about her past experiences with men and i told her if she hadnt looked for all the cool guys and looked for the things that was important in a person she woudnt have to be looking now. another words flew over the daisys and landed in the cowshit.
just be yourself (p and all)and if that dont work it wasnt ment to be in the first place . taa taa
Hey guys,
thanks for sharing your experiences! Lately I seemed to have been having ok luck. I actually have recently started to date someone. We were friends for a few months, and he was actually one of the first people i told about my p. I was so scared about telling him, but his response was "oh, yeah, i have friends who have that, I know its a shock for you now, but you're gonna be ok."
I think that even if the relationship doesn't work, thats an awesome way to think about it.
Amber
Hi everybody, this is StarrFriendly. I was just diagnosed less than a month ago. Other than my p, I am a healthy 21 with a normal love life.
I wanted to ask everyone in the dating pool, how has your psoriasis affected your dating life? Are you more self-conscious? Do you avoid dating all together? Does it affect you at all?
I'm curious. I'm not asking about graphics, I just wonder how its affected the way you look at yourself
Hope to get some replies
Amber
Answers:
I have all but given up on the dating scene...
I'm 35 F--I have had too many bad experiences due to my "P"
My most recent mishap was 4 weeks ago-
I went on a date with (what i thought was a nice guy)
We had fun- laughed a lot- when went out 3 times-
on the 3rd date I decided that i would talk to him about Psoriasis
(I was getting REALLY stressed thinking about telling him but thought i should just do it) He seemed like he was ok with it, he asked lots of questions...he never called again. JERK!
This is not the first time this has happened to me--so i give up!
I hate feeling this way but after many experiences similiar to my most recent upset- it takes a toll on your self esteem. I'm just not ready to put myself thru this over & over again! I am a good person and I dont like being treated like shit anymore.
So i guess I will just be an old maid with cats
(I don't like cats-(I'm allergic) I guess i will be alone!!!!) AAAAAaaaaaahhhh!
Answers:
Most guys are so concerned with physical appearance and that is sad. I believe women tend to be much more sensative to the subject of dating someone with P. I am a 25 year old male and never had a problem with dating really. I also never brought up my P until I had to which gives the person a little more time to know the you behind the skin. I know it is sort of dishonest(I like to use mysterious) but it is very hard for someone who hardly knows you to understand if you come right out and say.."by the way, 60% of my body is covered with red scally patches, so let's go back to my place." But don't give up on all guys. There are some of us out there who are not as shallow as the ring of water your cool drink leaves on the table on a hot day.
Answers:
Tara, Amber,
Don't give up hope. I just met my husband (second marriage)7 years ago. I met him just about the time I decided I wanted to be alone because what was out there wasn't worth my time. He has actually cried WITH me and FOR me when my P was at an all time flair.
P is a good way to weed out the bad ones. Anyone who can't see beyond your skin to your heart and soul isn't someone who you could live happily ever after with.
In the meantime, live life to its fullest. It doesn't take a man to complete your life or to make you happy. That comes from within.
Happy hunting!
XO
Answers:
date? what's a date?
Answers:
Hello Happygirl,
I am sorry you are new to p but but none the less I am glad you found us!
I have been married a good many years and so I cannot advise you on dating...My hubby tell me everyday how beautiful I am....I really do not think when he looks at me he even notices the p...
And Annie is right a man who cares more about your skin than your heart and soul is not worth your time...I am sure one day that special man will come along....
Answers:
I know I dont need a man--but on a lonely cold winters night it would be nice to have somebody to cuddle with...I have just given up for a while --while I work on making me happy!!!
I still would like to be married with kids but who knows...
someday my millionaire will come!!!!
Answers:
I'm 22, and have had P for almost 2 years. My sister has it as well for about as long as i have-and has been dating-without any problems from the guys--once they know her -it doesn't seem to bother them-(plus doesnt hurt that shes a beautiful girl ) and it isnt a major issue at all with them--but she doesn't date as many jerks as she used to because of it-she actually gets to know them first and goes out with better guys haha
I on the other hand, am having a much harder time with it.Right now, I could wear pants,long sleeved shirts and just brush my hair in a ponytail an exact way and people wouldnt know.
But i dont want to meet people (potential friends or bf's) and then have to tell, actually show them someday what I have.
It seems kinda like "smoke and mirrors" to me-to cover up--let my personality win them over and then say "i have a bad skin condition that will never go away--i'm not a mermaid, thats psoriasis on my legs" haha
So i've become quite the hermit and have watched a lot of tv and dvds (thank god for buffy the vampire slayer haha)--not very exciting -but keeps my mind off things til i can work through my issues with it.
There is a guy in my life, who was my friend but wants to date now--we both do actually, i just never admitted it haha -he doesn't know that i have P though and i dont want to tell him so i just make excuses why i wont-and it hurts a lot to pass up on relationships, but i just cant handle it now--im sure he would be fine with it-but i'm not. If that makes sense.
I'm sure if people are really your friend, they won't look down on you for it--but sympathy from people who have no idea whats it like and are thinking, even say how sorry they are for me is just as bad as if someone said something cruel about it. I haven't been adjusting well at all-I feel like my life is over before its even begun. My sister isn't always cheery and of course has her days when she feels bad about it-but she has kids,a good job, friends and i think because of that she has the will to have a life.
I hope what i've said about myself hasn't made you feel like you can't have a life-i'm just having a very hard time with it personally--but not everyone hides : ) My sister is very outgoing and has a "normal" life, friends, bf's--the same as she was before. So i hope you find the peace and strength to meet people too.
Answers:
well the older you get the more you tend to look for things in the opposite sex besides raw good looks. true that men look more to the physical attraction but women tend to look at the money and the things that money buys. i was out the other night and some lady came up to me telling me about her past experiences with men and i told her if she hadnt looked for all the cool guys and looked for the things that was important in a person she woudnt have to be looking now. another words flew over the daisys and landed in the cowshit.
just be yourself (p and all)and if that dont work it wasnt ment to be in the first place . taa taa
Answers:
Hey guys,
thanks for sharing your experiences! Lately I seemed to have been having ok luck. I actually have recently started to date someone. We were friends for a few months, and he was actually one of the first people i told about my p. I was so scared about telling him, but his response was "oh, yeah, i have friends who have that, I know its a shock for you now, but you're gonna be ok."
I think that even if the relationship doesn't work, thats an awesome way to think about it.
Amber
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