Question:
I have often thought about what I will be like in my old age, say for instance, 90.
Here goes-
Jor-EL at 90:
Allowing for shrinkage, I figure I’ll stand about 5 feet-2 inches when standing straight. However, due to the semi-circular curve to my spine, make that 3 feet-1 inches from floor to the back of my head.
Speaking of my head, I have more hair growing in my ears and nostrils than I have on my dome. My face, head and hands are spotted with so many liver spots that kids run up to me and want to play connect the dots with red and black magic markers. I usually let them.
I wear the same clothes day after day after day after day after…yes, that includes my underwear shorts (BVDs in case you’re curious). When I do change my clothes, I dig from a pile in the corner of the kitchen. I refuse to wear deodorant because I think it smells bad. I take a bath once every Saturday……if there’s nothing good on TV.
I’m about as crabby as they come, and will go out of my way to stop my car in the middle of an intersection downtown, get out, and start shaking my cane at anyone younger than me (which includes an awful lot of people) yelling obscenities mixed with outdated words and phrases; like “young wipper-snapper”, “don’t upset the apple cart”, “knock you a$$ over tea kettle”, and “fist-a-cuffs”.
My dentures keep falling out at the most inappropriate times, but I couldn’t care less. I’ll just pick them up off the floor or sidewalk and pop them back in. I always say, “Ummm…Yummy” when I do that and then pull them in and out if there are any little kids around.
I have taken a liking to watching soap operas on TV and yell at the screen when I’m disappointed at the on-going developments. I’ve even taken to writing “nasty-grams” to the station managers.
I am either mumbling, passing gas, humming some unrecognizable tune, or yelling………while attending church services. I clap when the priest walks in.
I keep my pocket watch (that my grandfather, while on his deathbed, had SOLD me) in my shirt pocket and make a point of showing it to young woman with the elusion that it will buy me romance. I was successful on one occasion. I found out later that she was actually older than me…..by 10 years.
I wear glasses that I found in a dumpster when I was 73. The left lens is missing, but that’s OK. I’m blind in that eye anyway.
I still drive even though I haven’t had a license for 15 years. I sit, propped up with pillows and cardboard on the front bench seat of my 1963 Valiant. Gothic Romance novels duct taped to the peddles so my feet can reach them. The back seat is piled to the roof with trash that I have collected during my daily tours of the neighborhood. I stop at gas stations and clean both the outsides and the INSIDES of my car windows with the squee-gee and washer fluid. Before I pull away (at 1 and a half miles per hour) I make a point of shaking my cane and yelling at the young person working at the cash register. He or she will usually yell back and throw an oil can or something at me. Yes, you’re right, my left blinker is always on.
Life in the fast lane.
So there you have it. Jor-El at 90.
Oh yeah, did I mention the tin foil hat on my head.
Jor-EL, I think you should post your current photo on the photo gallery so we can remember how you look right now. Then it won't be so bad when you get older. good to see you back!
Being that it's getting close to Halloween, that might be good idea.
I'll give it some consideration.
Good one, Jor-El! Now I've started my day off with a laugh :p !
I always get tickled at my parents. They both turned 80 this year (and in great health too, thank God), and they are retired in Florida. Dad's always griping about the pokey ol' "blue hairs" (his word for "old people") as he zips down the road, doing more than the speed limit. Also lost their electricity and phone service during the hurricane, got the electricity back and he was fit to be tied because he couldn't get on AOL! :D
God Bless them both.
Glad I made you laugh.
I really missed you...! Thanks for making me laugh falling to the ground!
OOOHHHHHH my ribs hurt!!!!
itchey
Howdy, itchey .
Glad you enjoyed that.
Laughter, after all, is the best medicine.
what is crazy,is I got a visual!!!! :eek: Maybe my 15 yr old could draw a picture of your 90 yr old description.I will ask!!! And if he does, if I have you permission to post it I will.
I know we will change in appearance when we get older,I pray for all NPF pplz
that you never loss your sense of humer!!!
itchey
That is wonderful!!! I love to think about what I'll be like when I'm ancient. I plan to live to 143 3/8 years, due to the wonders of medical science, so I've got a lot of planning to do. I know, definately, that I'll out live any man that attemps to put up with me for any extended period of time ( :D ) so I plan on being the crazy cat lady in the house on the corner that the kids all avoid on Halloween! (come here, little kiddies, grannies got some candy. hahahahaha!)
What does everyone else plan to do? I think this could be quite humorous and enlightening.
here, kitty, kitty, kitty.......
itchey,
By all means. You certainly have my permission to post your son's drawing of me at 90. I'd enjoy seeing it and I'm sure it'll be a "hum-dinger" (oh oh, I used "hum-dinger".....old age must be starting to creep in.)
<< Jor-EL looks out the window and starts yelling at the kids in his yard, "Hey you young wipper-snappers - get off my lawn with them gosh danged two-wheeled contraptions.">>
I plan on being the crazy old lady who does'nt wear her dentures and hits all the nurses with her cane...I will be in a nursing home of course, cause my hubby will be long gone and my kids won't put up with me...Gee I hope the put me in a nice nursing home...!!!!! :D
The sad fact is that by the time most people get to the point where they have to be put in a home, they either do not care if it's good or bad, or they are not aware if it's good or bad.
My mother spent 6 and a half years in two different nursing homes.
I spent quite a bit of time as a volunteer at a local nursing home while I was unemployed. I would visit patients in their rooms and I taught a drawing class for awhile.
You see some pretty sad cases now and then. Grown men crying to go home to see their wives.....patients yelling or mumbling or staring into space. Most of them spend their day either in bed or in wheel chairs. To see any of them walking around without a "walker" or a wheelchair is a rarity and instantly noticed.
welcome back joe-el. long time no see. im glad your back. i don't what to get old.
have a good day
richard :D
Howdy RichJ,
Thanks.
How ya been, big guy?
hi jor-el
not to bad when im not scratching and you.
have a good day all
richard :D
Here goes-
Jor-EL at 90:
Allowing for shrinkage, I figure I’ll stand about 5 feet-2 inches when standing straight. However, due to the semi-circular curve to my spine, make that 3 feet-1 inches from floor to the back of my head.
Speaking of my head, I have more hair growing in my ears and nostrils than I have on my dome. My face, head and hands are spotted with so many liver spots that kids run up to me and want to play connect the dots with red and black magic markers. I usually let them.
I wear the same clothes day after day after day after day after…yes, that includes my underwear shorts (BVDs in case you’re curious). When I do change my clothes, I dig from a pile in the corner of the kitchen. I refuse to wear deodorant because I think it smells bad. I take a bath once every Saturday……if there’s nothing good on TV.
I’m about as crabby as they come, and will go out of my way to stop my car in the middle of an intersection downtown, get out, and start shaking my cane at anyone younger than me (which includes an awful lot of people) yelling obscenities mixed with outdated words and phrases; like “young wipper-snapper”, “don’t upset the apple cart”, “knock you a$$ over tea kettle”, and “fist-a-cuffs”.
My dentures keep falling out at the most inappropriate times, but I couldn’t care less. I’ll just pick them up off the floor or sidewalk and pop them back in. I always say, “Ummm…Yummy” when I do that and then pull them in and out if there are any little kids around.
I have taken a liking to watching soap operas on TV and yell at the screen when I’m disappointed at the on-going developments. I’ve even taken to writing “nasty-grams” to the station managers.
I am either mumbling, passing gas, humming some unrecognizable tune, or yelling………while attending church services. I clap when the priest walks in.
I keep my pocket watch (that my grandfather, while on his deathbed, had SOLD me) in my shirt pocket and make a point of showing it to young woman with the elusion that it will buy me romance. I was successful on one occasion. I found out later that she was actually older than me…..by 10 years.
I wear glasses that I found in a dumpster when I was 73. The left lens is missing, but that’s OK. I’m blind in that eye anyway.
I still drive even though I haven’t had a license for 15 years. I sit, propped up with pillows and cardboard on the front bench seat of my 1963 Valiant. Gothic Romance novels duct taped to the peddles so my feet can reach them. The back seat is piled to the roof with trash that I have collected during my daily tours of the neighborhood. I stop at gas stations and clean both the outsides and the INSIDES of my car windows with the squee-gee and washer fluid. Before I pull away (at 1 and a half miles per hour) I make a point of shaking my cane and yelling at the young person working at the cash register. He or she will usually yell back and throw an oil can or something at me. Yes, you’re right, my left blinker is always on.
Life in the fast lane.
So there you have it. Jor-El at 90.
Oh yeah, did I mention the tin foil hat on my head.
Answers:
Jor-EL, I think you should post your current photo on the photo gallery so we can remember how you look right now. Then it won't be so bad when you get older. good to see you back!
Answers:
Being that it's getting close to Halloween, that might be good idea.
I'll give it some consideration.
Answers:
Good one, Jor-El! Now I've started my day off with a laugh :p !
I always get tickled at my parents. They both turned 80 this year (and in great health too, thank God), and they are retired in Florida. Dad's always griping about the pokey ol' "blue hairs" (his word for "old people") as he zips down the road, doing more than the speed limit. Also lost their electricity and phone service during the hurricane, got the electricity back and he was fit to be tied because he couldn't get on AOL! :D
Answers:
God Bless them both.
Glad I made you laugh.
Answers:
I really missed you...! Thanks for making me laugh falling to the ground!
OOOHHHHHH my ribs hurt!!!!
itchey
Answers:
Howdy, itchey .
Glad you enjoyed that.
Laughter, after all, is the best medicine.
Answers:
what is crazy,is I got a visual!!!! :eek: Maybe my 15 yr old could draw a picture of your 90 yr old description.I will ask!!! And if he does, if I have you permission to post it I will.
I know we will change in appearance when we get older,I pray for all NPF pplz
that you never loss your sense of humer!!!
itchey
Answers:
That is wonderful!!! I love to think about what I'll be like when I'm ancient. I plan to live to 143 3/8 years, due to the wonders of medical science, so I've got a lot of planning to do. I know, definately, that I'll out live any man that attemps to put up with me for any extended period of time ( :D ) so I plan on being the crazy cat lady in the house on the corner that the kids all avoid on Halloween! (come here, little kiddies, grannies got some candy. hahahahaha!)
What does everyone else plan to do? I think this could be quite humorous and enlightening.
here, kitty, kitty, kitty.......
Answers:
itchey,
By all means. You certainly have my permission to post your son's drawing of me at 90. I'd enjoy seeing it and I'm sure it'll be a "hum-dinger" (oh oh, I used "hum-dinger".....old age must be starting to creep in.)
<< Jor-EL looks out the window and starts yelling at the kids in his yard, "Hey you young wipper-snappers - get off my lawn with them gosh danged two-wheeled contraptions.">>
Answers:
I plan on being the crazy old lady who does'nt wear her dentures and hits all the nurses with her cane...I will be in a nursing home of course, cause my hubby will be long gone and my kids won't put up with me...Gee I hope the put me in a nice nursing home...!!!!! :D
Answers:
The sad fact is that by the time most people get to the point where they have to be put in a home, they either do not care if it's good or bad, or they are not aware if it's good or bad.
My mother spent 6 and a half years in two different nursing homes.
I spent quite a bit of time as a volunteer at a local nursing home while I was unemployed. I would visit patients in their rooms and I taught a drawing class for awhile.
You see some pretty sad cases now and then. Grown men crying to go home to see their wives.....patients yelling or mumbling or staring into space. Most of them spend their day either in bed or in wheel chairs. To see any of them walking around without a "walker" or a wheelchair is a rarity and instantly noticed.
Answers:
welcome back joe-el. long time no see. im glad your back. i don't what to get old.
have a good day
richard :D
Answers:
Howdy RichJ,
Thanks.
How ya been, big guy?
Answers:
hi jor-el
not to bad when im not scratching and you.
have a good day all
richard :D
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