Question:
The Cuckoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I finally got home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew, I thought! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'oh, crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
:D
cute indeed!
I LOVE IT!
Angela:D
Loved it...too funny!!!
That's where I got a bit confused, 'cause if it is, why would it wake him up?
I'm kind of hoping that you actually do have a cuckoo clock & didn't imagine that as well in your moment of, uhm, stupor..:D
[SIZE=4]TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION. I KNOW MY FRIEND KIM WOULD NEVER LIE. [/SIZE] :p :p :p
Thought all the Mom's out there would enjoy this one :o)
The Middle Wife
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.
So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and and some guaranteed entertainment.
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant."This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, "Oh,oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,oh!'"
Now the kid's doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.'
"
"They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy
THAT WAS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was sooo great! I love kids sooo much that was priceless hehehe. I was smiling ear to ear reading that thanks!!!
I don't know who was funnier you or DH...I was laughing out loud at that one and picturing it as I read it.....................
and Margaret that was hilarious...it's true kids do say the darndest things and with all the acting it out too...bet her parents would die of embarrassment if they only knew....I especially like the play-center (placenta) :D :D
Kim you should probably do that more often, sounds like you had a great time!!
And Margaret that is a great story!!
I really hate to burst everyone's bubble, but the story was given to me by a friend....I just posted it....I know...you'll never believe me, but it will just add to my mystique. :D ....might have to buy a cuckoo clock and try it sometime, though! ;)
Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this
> one!
>
> Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping
> one of her kindergarten
> students put on his cowboy boots?
>
> He asked for help and she could see why.
> Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little
> boots still didn't want to go on.
> Finally, when the second boot was on, she
> had worked up a sweat.
>
> She almost cried when the little boy said,
> "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet"
>
> She looked and sure enough, they were.
> It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off
> than it was putting them on.
> She managed to keep her cool as together
> they worked to get the boots back on - this time on
> the right feet.
>
> He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
>
> She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face
> and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted
> to.
> And, once again she struggled to help him pull
> the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
>
> No sooner they got the boots off and he said,
> "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear
> 'em."
>
> Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But,
> she mustered up the grace and courage she had left
> to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
>
> Helping him into his coat, she asked,
> "Now, where are your mittens?"
> He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
aaahahaha.........................that was too cute. Thanks for the laugh. Kids are the best, make you laugh and keep you young!!
I loved all the stories. I think we need more of these. Thanks for telling them.
Angela
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I finally got home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew, I thought! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'oh, crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
Answers:
:D
cute indeed!
Answers:
I LOVE IT!
Angela:D
Answers:
Loved it...too funny!!!
Answers:
That's where I got a bit confused, 'cause if it is, why would it wake him up?
I'm kind of hoping that you actually do have a cuckoo clock & didn't imagine that as well in your moment of, uhm, stupor..:D
Answers:
[SIZE=4]TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION. I KNOW MY FRIEND KIM WOULD NEVER LIE. [/SIZE] :p :p :p
Answers:
Thought all the Mom's out there would enjoy this one :o)
The Middle Wife
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.
So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and and some guaranteed entertainment.
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant."This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord." She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, "Oh,oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,oh!'"
Now the kid's doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.'
"
"They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy
Answers:
THAT WAS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answers:
That was sooo great! I love kids sooo much that was priceless hehehe. I was smiling ear to ear reading that thanks!!!
Answers:
I don't know who was funnier you or DH...I was laughing out loud at that one and picturing it as I read it.....................
and Margaret that was hilarious...it's true kids do say the darndest things and with all the acting it out too...bet her parents would die of embarrassment if they only knew....I especially like the play-center (placenta) :D :D
Answers:
Kim you should probably do that more often, sounds like you had a great time!!
And Margaret that is a great story!!
Answers:
I really hate to burst everyone's bubble, but the story was given to me by a friend....I just posted it....I know...you'll never believe me, but it will just add to my mystique. :D ....might have to buy a cuckoo clock and try it sometime, though! ;)
Answers:
Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this
> one!
>
> Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping
> one of her kindergarten
> students put on his cowboy boots?
>
> He asked for help and she could see why.
> Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little
> boots still didn't want to go on.
> Finally, when the second boot was on, she
> had worked up a sweat.
>
> She almost cried when the little boy said,
> "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet"
>
> She looked and sure enough, they were.
> It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off
> than it was putting them on.
> She managed to keep her cool as together
> they worked to get the boots back on - this time on
> the right feet.
>
> He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
>
> She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face
> and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted
> to.
> And, once again she struggled to help him pull
> the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.
>
> No sooner they got the boots off and he said,
> "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear
> 'em."
>
> Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But,
> she mustered up the grace and courage she had left
> to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
>
> Helping him into his coat, she asked,
> "Now, where are your mittens?"
> He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
Answers:
aaahahaha.........................that was too cute. Thanks for the laugh. Kids are the best, make you laugh and keep you young!!
Answers:
I loved all the stories. I think we need more of these. Thanks for telling them.
Angela
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