Collect Questions

Hey Folks, in school right now we're learning about poetry... and i came across two really funny poems that i wanted to share.... so, if you have any that are funny (only funny ones plz!!!) then plz post em!!
Here ya go:
"I cannot go to school today," said little Peggy Ann McKay. i have the measles and the mumps, a rash a gash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, im going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, ive counted sixteen chicken pox. and theres one more- thats seventeen, and dont you think my face looks green? My leg is cut- my eyes are blue-- it might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, im sure that my left leg is broke-- my hip hurts when i move my chin, my belly button's caving in, my back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained, my pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb, i have a sliver in my thumb.My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, i hardly whisper when i speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, i think my hair is falling out. My elbows bent, my spine aint straight, my temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, i cannot hear, there is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangnail and my heart is--what? whats that? whats that you say? you say today is... saturday? g'bye, im going out to play. (this is wht i sound like on a typical school morning!)
be glad your nose is on your face, not pasted on some other place. for if it were where it is not, you might dislike your nose a lot... imagine if your precious nose were sandwiched in between your toes. that clearly would not be a treat, for you'd be forced to smell your feet... your nose would be a source of dread, were it attached atop your head. it soon would drive you to despair, forever tickled by your hair... Within your ear your nose would be, an absolute catastrophe. for when you were obliged to sneeze, your brain would rattle from the breeze... your nose instead, through thick and thin, remains between your eyes and chin. not pasted on some other place-- be glad your nose is on your face!
KJ


Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote an amazing poem about the beauty of things that are speckled and freckled and marked up by mother nature. Perfect for this forum. :)
Pied Beauty
©Gerard Manley Hopkins
Glory be to God for dappled things--
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced - fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled, (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
I have poetry on my home page. There is one there called "Stigmata" that I wrote about my skin. I'll share it here if nobody minds.
Stigmata
©Christine Olinger
These scars and scabs
announce me.
Here is my shame,
here my terror,
here my pain.
They are lesions of secrecy.
Ugly words.
Ugly markings.
Each scale lifted
by probing fingernail
is a triumph,
an unmasking,
a winding sheet unbound
to reveal a bloody truth.
Blood is salvation.
It cleans and stings,
running free over
damaged terrain.
Blood will baptize--
forgiveness and glory.
Beneath my hairline
is a crown of thorns
in angelic, flaking white.
Beneath my clothes
the ragged stigmata
stumble across this body,
cracking, bleeding, begging
for canonization, salvation,
glory.


Hey Chrissy, I enjoyed your poem. You too, KJ.
Here's one that I wrote. It actually got published a long long time ago.
I call it "Tree Roots"
The tree,
its roots firmly bound,
beneath the ground.
its limbs, hard and strong, burst
to the sky to thirst.
But I,
with one foot in the sand,
do vainly demand
to fly.
Well anyway, that's it.
Take care.
Joe


here's one dh and I wrote together for our art ans craft fairs that we do.....its framed and decorated for kids rooms:p
the little sign on the bird house says "I toad you....frogs only"


not framed....this one always gets a smile out of grown-ups too...
I told DH ..."we need a poem to go with the expression "When Pigs Fly" and this is what we came up with.......


GREAT POEMS EVERYONE!!!


Sally,
You've got tremendous talent and that's no lie
"I Toad You...Frogs Only" and "When Pigs Fly"
I laughed myself silly! They tickled my sides!
"How do you do them?" wondered little old I.
:p :p :p Joe:p :p :p


we're born with the gift
of
gab...............that is!
some words here...some there...
that's

all............... it 'tis


Originally posted by Patchsigns

But I,
with one foot in the sand,
do vainly demand
to fly.
Joe
That's pretty darned cool, Joe. :)


Wow!!!
You may have started a new venture.... Poetry Critic!!
Thanks for making me blush...
(Golly Gee Willikers!!)
Joe


Be yourself
Do I want to live alone in a world so cold to trust no one?
Or trust some and feel acceptance,
In a group where I live in phonieness.
Or pride myself on being real; to trust and be trusted,
Or have that trust broken and turn my back,
Leaving the betrayl and taking with me my strength.
On my own no one will follow me or mock me in my prescense,
Being myself who is to say to stand out you must fit an image?
Mentally I drift into my own world.
It must be hard to hold up a facade through daily life,
Artificiality is society's perfection laughing in the face of truth,
But am I Alone? not entirely for I have opened my eyes.
To be alone only shuts out what life is all about,
And we all have the abilty to overide the stereotype,
So open your eyes and see the beauty in being yourself.


I'm sorry that I have nothing to add at the moment, I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread tonight......Thank you!!!!!


Adam had 'em.
Joe
One of my favorites.


love all these poems...keep coming to this thread to check it out....Ogden Nash is also a favorite...read him when I was a kid and didn't quite understand his humor....but it was a book...and I read everything around then......but he is still a fav. now. another fav from childhood was "A Garden Of Verses" by R. L. Stevenson.


I love the Ogden Nash poem about "The Purple Cow" and stuff by e.e.cummings is so original.
...and then there's Dr. Seuss...
Joe


but doncha know I have a cow in my repertoire!!! and joe you are good too...one of these days we'll see you PUBLISHED!