Question:
1 Attachment(s)
This could be you someday....... :)
A little old lady was walking up & down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip
up the hem of her nightgown & say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair,
flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex". He sat silently for a momment or two & finally
answered, "I'll take the soup."
================================================== ==================
An 80 yr. old Bessie bursts into the Rec. room at the Retirement home; she holds her clenched fist in
the air & announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute & says,
"Close enough."
================================================== ===================
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's
voice urgently warning him, Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way
on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car, it's hundreds of them!"
A Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and
says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I
are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're
sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and
tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts,
"I'll take care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her
father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get
there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then,don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
aaaahahahaha......tooo funny!!!! (Go Margaret :) )(Don't ask what I'm doing up this late reading jokes!!!hehe).
1 Attachment(s) Oh Margaret,,, That's very very funny!!!! LOL LOL
There's always truth in humor, and humor in truth.
1 Attachment(s) A couple of more - maybe???
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a
romantic mood & wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting.
"Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second & tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later
she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
& settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later, she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily,
he threw back the bed covers & got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
=================
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities & adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other & said, "Now don't get mad at me...
I know we've been friends for a long time... but,,, I just can't think of your name! I've thought & thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three
minutes she just stared & glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
======================
Helen........as always, I am sitting here laughing out loud!!! Here's a cute one.....
Little boy asks his mom how old she is........mom says: "son, there's two things you do not ask a woman, how old she is or how much she weighs"..........Little boy is playing with his friend, he sadly exclaims: "my mom won't tell me how old she is"...the little friend says: "that's ok, just look on her drivers lisence, it says everything!!!"...................later on the boy is at the dinner table, he announces to the family: "it's ok mom you don't have to tell me your age, I know EVERYTHING about you mom............ I know that you are 35 years old...... and that you weigh 150lbs.......... and I know that you got an F in sex"!!!!!!
A little old lady was walking up & down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip
up the hem of her nightgown & say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair,
flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex". He sat silently for a momment or two & finally
answered, "I'll take the soup."
================================================== ==================
An 80 yr. old Bessie bursts into the Rec. room at the Retirement home; she holds her clenched fist in
the air & announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?" Bessie thinks a minute & says,
"Close enough."
================================================== ===================
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's
voice urgently warning him, Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way
on Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car, it's hundreds of them!"
Answers:
A Thanksgiving Divorce
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and
says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I
are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're
sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your
sister in Chicago and
tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts,
"I'll take care of this," She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her
father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get
there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until
then,don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"Okay," he says,"they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
Answers:
aaaahahahaha......tooo funny!!!! (Go Margaret :) )(Don't ask what I'm doing up this late reading jokes!!!hehe).
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) Oh Margaret,,, That's very very funny!!!! LOL LOL
Answers:
There's always truth in humor, and humor in truth.
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) A couple of more - maybe???
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a
romantic mood & wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting.
"Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second & tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later
she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
& settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later, she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily,
he threw back the bed covers & got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
=================
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
activities & adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other & said, "Now don't get mad at me...
I know we've been friends for a long time... but,,, I just can't think of your name! I've thought & thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three
minutes she just stared & glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
======================
Answers:
Helen........as always, I am sitting here laughing out loud!!! Here's a cute one.....
Little boy asks his mom how old she is........mom says: "son, there's two things you do not ask a woman, how old she is or how much she weighs"..........Little boy is playing with his friend, he sadly exclaims: "my mom won't tell me how old she is"...the little friend says: "that's ok, just look on her drivers lisence, it says everything!!!"...................later on the boy is at the dinner table, he announces to the family: "it's ok mom you don't have to tell me your age, I know EVERYTHING about you mom............ I know that you are 35 years old...... and that you weigh 150lbs.......... and I know that you got an F in sex"!!!!!!
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