Question:
Thank you so much for your unsolicited advertisement in yesterday's mail.
May I compliment you on the remarkable turnaround you have made, if your
promotional material is to be believed, from the last fifteen years when
your claims department seemed to be engaged in a creative writing contest to
see who could come up with the most unusual reason for denying payment to
your clients, based on my experience of the last three weeks sorting medical
records.
It is not the policy of this family to pre-approve premiums on coverage such
as you offer. You are welcome to institute insurance for us on these terms:
The first two hundred dollars ($200.00) in premium statements which you send
us will be returned unpaid; this constitutes your deductible. You will
extend us coverage during this period, however.
Following this, our expert staff of bill reviewers will examine each bill
you send. If we find that it is appropriate under our Family Bill Paying
Policy at the time of your billing, we will pay 80% of the amount billed.
You will of course have to write off the other 20%.
Each premium statement must be accompanied by a Certificate of Actuarial
Necessity produced by an independent third-party auditor that you do indeed
need such a payment, and it's not merely because you want to make money off
of us. Statements not so accompanied will be returned unpaid. While we
believe ourselves incapable of rising to the level of snideness your claims
staff managed in the letter you sent a woman whose baby had just had his
foot amputated to the effect that you had no proof that he needed a
prosthetic device, we will certainly try to live up to the high standards
you have set in the correspondence we send back.
You will continue coverage during periods where we reject your premium
statements, just as you continued billing people while rejecting their
claims.
There will be a lifetime limit of $5,000 in premiums; if you exceed this
amount, you will continue to extend us coverage but we will not be
responsible for any further premium payments.
Since this matches closely your policy on claims, you certainly should have
no objection to it as our policy on premiums.
Sincerely,
Raynard the Fox
for the FOX Family Solicitation Review Board
Originally posted by Raynard_the_Fox
Thank you so much for your unsolicited advertisement in yesterday's mail...................... I'm listening......
s
I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for the chuckle. I could only be more entertained by learning you acturally sent this to your insurance company.
Keep the humor, it will save you in the end.
Dove
May I compliment you on the remarkable turnaround you have made, if your
promotional material is to be believed, from the last fifteen years when
your claims department seemed to be engaged in a creative writing contest to
see who could come up with the most unusual reason for denying payment to
your clients, based on my experience of the last three weeks sorting medical
records.
It is not the policy of this family to pre-approve premiums on coverage such
as you offer. You are welcome to institute insurance for us on these terms:
The first two hundred dollars ($200.00) in premium statements which you send
us will be returned unpaid; this constitutes your deductible. You will
extend us coverage during this period, however.
Following this, our expert staff of bill reviewers will examine each bill
you send. If we find that it is appropriate under our Family Bill Paying
Policy at the time of your billing, we will pay 80% of the amount billed.
You will of course have to write off the other 20%.
Each premium statement must be accompanied by a Certificate of Actuarial
Necessity produced by an independent third-party auditor that you do indeed
need such a payment, and it's not merely because you want to make money off
of us. Statements not so accompanied will be returned unpaid. While we
believe ourselves incapable of rising to the level of snideness your claims
staff managed in the letter you sent a woman whose baby had just had his
foot amputated to the effect that you had no proof that he needed a
prosthetic device, we will certainly try to live up to the high standards
you have set in the correspondence we send back.
You will continue coverage during periods where we reject your premium
statements, just as you continued billing people while rejecting their
claims.
There will be a lifetime limit of $5,000 in premiums; if you exceed this
amount, you will continue to extend us coverage but we will not be
responsible for any further premium payments.
Since this matches closely your policy on claims, you certainly should have
no objection to it as our policy on premiums.
Sincerely,
Raynard the Fox
for the FOX Family Solicitation Review Board
Answers:
Originally posted by Raynard_the_Fox
Thank you so much for your unsolicited advertisement in yesterday's mail...................... I'm listening......
s
Answers:
I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for the chuckle. I could only be more entertained by learning you acturally sent this to your insurance company.
Keep the humor, it will save you in the end.
Dove
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