Collect Questions

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, then put it down.
3. Don't cut your own hair. Ever!
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect to hear an answer you don't want.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the Designated Hitter, the Lunar Landing and Turbo Charging.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different; it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cat. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine, as long as it isn’t Orange. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. If you must, don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is one too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. If a headache lasts for 17 months, then you must see a shrink.
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways, makes you sad and angry, then we meant the other one.
32. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines
33. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
34. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done not both.
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
37. If we say we like it, then that means we like it.
38. If we say we don’t like it, then that means we don’t like it.
39. Sears, they have a great Drivers Education Program, please enroll.
40. If your girlfriends have to know about our bed-side manners, then its ok that I tell my work buddies of your hairy nipples.
I found this at our Car Club site, I thought it was funny. Are you offended, Tough!! Take a number and bring your bottle and diapers.
LastCat


I can live with those, if you back off and let me be me. I am woman, and proud of it. Thank God for our differences.
JK (Not) but LOL anyway.
(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))
Dove


Originally posted by LastCat
I found this at our Car Club site, I thought it was funny. Are you offended, Tough!! Take a number and bring your bottle and diapers.
LastCat Ain't this a can of worms & speaking of bottles, you've earned one & be prepared for the flak & I'm off to the Bar so what's your choice???......... your going to need it.
S


Originally posted by Spiderman
Ain't this a can of worms & speaking of bottles, you've earned one & be prepared for the flak & I'm off to the Bar so what's your choice???......... your going to need it.
S
I know I put myself out there, and yes I will be a target, but I don't really live my life by others opinions. People can dislike me as they please, thats there choice.
Bring it on!
LC


TOO FUNNY! :eek: :D


[SIZE=4]THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE WASHINGTON CROSSED THE VANCOUVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [/SIZE] [SIZE=7]ROTFLMAO!!!!!![/SIZE]


[SIZE=7]Nescio quid dicas.[/SIZE]


11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE
>> Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one
>> woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided
>> that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall.
>> They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very
>> touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,
>> because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
>> husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making
>> sacrifices, with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech,
>> all the men started clapping.


I had to ggogle to find out whatthat latin phrase meant.
Here is a list of all the latin you need to know
http://www.ealasaid.com/quotes/latinsil.html
here is a sample
/////Wiretappers Don't Know Latin/////
Placetne tibi ut eum necemus?
Whaddya say we bump him off?
Locum despoliemus.
Let's stick up the joint.
Materiem habeo - habesne nummos?
I got the stuff - you got the money?
Bene! At scin quid faciam? Certum est mini subterfugere omnia vectigalia ei imposita!
Swell! Hey, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna evade all the income tax on it!


oh yeah, and this one
Prospice tibi - ut Gallia, tu quoque in tres partes dividaris.
Watch out - you might end up divided into three parts, like Gaul.
Dennis