Question:
Hey everyone! I am feeling lonely today.
Some of you know my story, 3y with p seeing my 1st derm at the end of Oct. I have been married for 7y, 1st yr happy the rest just going through the motions, and have 3 wonderful kids, but I feel so alone.
I don't know anyone with p, I feel like none of the people in my life understand me. It is hard to be the only one in a circle with something like this. Does anyone else feel stuck? It's like p has turned me into a prisoner inside myself. Since I was dx I am an introvert because I don't want people to look at me long enough to realize there is something different about me. I have tried to be brave and say I don't care what anyone thinks but it is not that easy for me. My self esteem is way down and I geuss I am just having a real bad day. I hate feeling so ugly. Am I alone in this? I hope you all don't mind me whining to you, I don't have anyone else to listen.
Kim S.
[SIZE=3]Hi Kim S...You have come to the right place to get comfort and also a place to vent...We all know what you are going through and you will feel better knowing that...Hope that you have good luck at your Derm appointment...
Take care,
Molly[/SIZE] :)
hi kim
i two feel lonely to. some times. i have no one at home with p or any thing wrong with them. they think my pp is ugly when i have it real bad. that is what is so nice here. they under stand what i go though. i get lost ease to. just hang in there. things will get better.
try and have a good day. i know that is hard some times.
your friend richard
Hi Kim! If there's ONE thing these boards should teach you, it's that no, you are NOT alone. Reading your words about P was seriously like reading something I had written. I used to be in tank tops and shorts all summer, going out in way too short skirts and enjoying every minute of it. :) I developed P my sophomore year of college (I'm a Senior right now) and had my first huge flare about 3 months ago. Where once I used to only have it on my hands, now, it's all over my limbs, hands, ears, feet, etc. etc. etc. However, one thing these boards have taught me is that I am LUCKY. Yes, lucky. I haven't had to fight the P battle since a child, something that I am NOW extremely thankful for. Not to mention, there are people here who have it a lot worse than me, and even though ANY P is bad P, I couldn't imagine what it might be like to be 90-95% covered.
However, despite the fact that yes I am luckier than a lot of people I have met it's still devastating. And yes you're right, it IS like being a prisoner inside myself!!! I used to be so outgoing, always willing to go out, always willing to hang on the beach and go swimming. Now, I sit in the house when everyone else goes to lay out or go to the beach. Going out? Well I do sometimes, but nowehere near as often as I used to. That's just the SOCIAL aspect of it. I won't even go into the itching, bleeding, flaking stinging part of it. I'm sure you know. It's amazing how drastically this has changed my whole life. Long sleeves, jeans, lotions, itching...these things are EVERYday, they are my LIFE now.
You're not alone in your plight at all. The only other being I don't try to hide my skin from is my dog..LOL. Like you, I know NOBODY with P around me. And remember, I live in a college town, so it's NOTHING but skin in the summer everywhere you look. :rolleyes: But seriously, there always seems to be the constant thought in my head, "Can they see my P?" And so, a lot of times, I'm alone. Not to mention my husband is in Iraq. At times I'm almost glad he is. I don't even want to look at my skin, and I sure as hell don't expect him to want to either. For me, this whole experience is so....HUMBLING. I think I make it worse than it COULD be with the way I allow myself to feet about it, but it's hard to deal with this. It's really really really hard.
I wish I could tell you that it'll all be ok, the P will be cured, and you'll never have to worry about it again. I wish I could tell myself that too! :) But, the reality is, it's NOT going to be cured (anytime soon atleast) and all we have the power to do is accept it and fight it with every ounce of energy we are willing to let it take. I know it's not easy girl, ugh, it's SO HARD! But if it makes you feel any better, you are NOT alone. Every morning you wake up, I want you to remember that somewhere in Chapel Hill, NC, I'm wandering around feeling the same as you at that exact moment. Feel free to PM me or anything if you ever want to talk OK?
Today has been one of "those" days for me too, hopefully we'll cheer up some by tomorrow. :D
((HUGS))
Renae
I met someone for dinner tonight that i haven't seen in 6 years and they told me i'm still the most beautiful woman they've ever seen. well, wow. i've felt like such crap lately with my p. and this person knows about my p. and looks beyond it....and it was then i realized if i can just put my own self image 'there'...past the p. maybe i wouldnt' hide from so much and be such the introvert.
just thinking out loud here, plue i've had a wine and a marguarita so really, i'm not sure if it's making much sense.
:rolleyes:
d.
Hey everyone! I am feeling lonely today.
Some of you know my story, 3y with p seeing my 1st derm at the end of Oct. I have been married for 7y, 1st yr happy the rest just going through the motions, and have 3 wonderful kids, but I feel so alone.
I don't know anyone with p, I feel like none of the people in my life understand me. It is hard to be the only one in a circle with something like this. Does anyone else feel stuck? It's like p has turned me into a prisoner inside myself. Since I was dx I am an introvert because I don't want people to look at me long enough to realize there is something different about me. I have tried to be brave and say I don't care what anyone thinks but it is not that easy for me. My self esteem is way down and I geuss I am just having a real bad day. I hate feeling so ugly. Am I alone in this? I hope you all don't mind me whining to you, I don't have anyone else to listen.
Kim S.
Thanks so much you guys! I have to say you are the nicest people, everyone I know would have told me to stop whining and get over it. I am trying so hard to deal with this maybe I need a marguarita, or two. I am glad to hear kind words and that I am not alone, maybe someone will think I am beautiful even with the p someday, something to hope for.
Thanks, I don't know what I would do without some place to whine some times. You guys are the best!
Kim S.
Hey, Kim, might be a long shot here but I was having some problems with being clear of all things. Anyway my regular doc gave me lexapro and then I went to a shrink. Seemed to work. Lexapro is an antidepressant that changes you brain chemistry. You can talk to your doc about it to see what he or she thinks. Just might help if you need it.
Thanks so much you guys! I have to say you are the nicest people, everyone I know would have told me to stop whining and get over it. I am trying so hard to deal with this maybe I need a marguarita, or two. I am glad to hear kind words and that I am not alone, maybe someone will think I am beautiful even with the p someday, something to hope for.
Thanks, I don't know what I would do without some place to whine some times. You guys are the best!
Kim S.
hi kim
you are a beautiful person. some times i think the same way. but at leaset we have here.
try and have a good day. i know what you mean.
richard
Hi Kim,
I'm very sorry you are having a bad time right now. I understand the entire married life "going through the motions" part very well. I was married for 12 years and now am single again. I'm very very nervous about getting involved with someone, because I don't know if I can deal with finding someone who can look past the p right now. Maybe someday. I get depressed about that, too. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. I am very fortunate that I have a beautiful son in my life, but lets face it, I will have to let go one day and then what? We are all lucky that we have this place to rant and rave when there is no one else who can truely understand. Just keep on posting, you will find more and more people here that will make you at ease with just about everything.
BTW, from the little picture next to your name I'd have to say you are very beautiful. I would think there are many many more people out there that would agree with me.
Take care of yourself. I look forward to reading more posts.
Hey, Kim, might be a long shot here but I was having some problems with being clear of all things. Anyway my regular doc gave me lexapro and then I went to a shrink. Seemed to work. Lexapro is an antidepressant that changes you brain chemistry. You can talk to your doc about it to see what he or she thinks. Just might help if you need it.
Maybe your right, a shrink could help, I need someone to talk to, not big on antidepressants, I have been on a few different ones since I developed p and all of them have given me just about every side effect on the label. I guess my brain chemistry doesn't want to be messed around with. The drs keep saying they can try a different one but I don't feel suicidal or anything so we have decided I am okay without them. Thanks for the suggestion, I just might try it.
Kim S.
well the day has come Kim *I* think you're beautiful! And I'm certain I'm not the only one...
hang in there
hope you feel better today
xoxo
Denise
You are gorgeous!!!!! :) Please feel better!!!
Hi Ki
I have been married for 32 years and if you asked my husband about psoriasis all he could tell you is that it's a skin disease. Sometimes I wonder does he even care how it affects me or maybe it doesn't bother him to see it. I asked him once to read an article in the NPF Advance, so he could better understand this disease and give me the support I so desperately needed. Needless to say he never read it and I didn't push it anymore. When I first got this horrible disease at age 18, my mother (I love her with all my heart) told me that God was punishing me for wearing short skirts, and that I would never wear a short skirt again. Like I was being cursed for being young.
I have found the support at these message boards and it has been a God send. My husband probably thinks I'm having an online affair because I'm always on this computer reading all the post. lol
I hope you are feeling better and know we are all here for each other Fighting in numbers is what it is all about. :) :)
Jolene
I have had p for over 20 years and I have been married for 30...I had a terrible flare for over 2 years, and my skin is clear now...My DH is always telling me how beautiful my skin looks now.....He was so helpful to me, helping me put my meds on every night, and he never complained about it...
You are beautiful inside and out!
Hang in there because, in the mean time you have us! :D
Some of you know my story, 3y with p seeing my 1st derm at the end of Oct. I have been married for 7y, 1st yr happy the rest just going through the motions, and have 3 wonderful kids, but I feel so alone.
I don't know anyone with p, I feel like none of the people in my life understand me. It is hard to be the only one in a circle with something like this. Does anyone else feel stuck? It's like p has turned me into a prisoner inside myself. Since I was dx I am an introvert because I don't want people to look at me long enough to realize there is something different about me. I have tried to be brave and say I don't care what anyone thinks but it is not that easy for me. My self esteem is way down and I geuss I am just having a real bad day. I hate feeling so ugly. Am I alone in this? I hope you all don't mind me whining to you, I don't have anyone else to listen.
Kim S.
Answers:
[SIZE=3]Hi Kim S...You have come to the right place to get comfort and also a place to vent...We all know what you are going through and you will feel better knowing that...Hope that you have good luck at your Derm appointment...
Take care,
Molly[/SIZE] :)
Answers:
hi kim
i two feel lonely to. some times. i have no one at home with p or any thing wrong with them. they think my pp is ugly when i have it real bad. that is what is so nice here. they under stand what i go though. i get lost ease to. just hang in there. things will get better.
try and have a good day. i know that is hard some times.
your friend richard
Answers:
Hi Kim! If there's ONE thing these boards should teach you, it's that no, you are NOT alone. Reading your words about P was seriously like reading something I had written. I used to be in tank tops and shorts all summer, going out in way too short skirts and enjoying every minute of it. :) I developed P my sophomore year of college (I'm a Senior right now) and had my first huge flare about 3 months ago. Where once I used to only have it on my hands, now, it's all over my limbs, hands, ears, feet, etc. etc. etc. However, one thing these boards have taught me is that I am LUCKY. Yes, lucky. I haven't had to fight the P battle since a child, something that I am NOW extremely thankful for. Not to mention, there are people here who have it a lot worse than me, and even though ANY P is bad P, I couldn't imagine what it might be like to be 90-95% covered.
However, despite the fact that yes I am luckier than a lot of people I have met it's still devastating. And yes you're right, it IS like being a prisoner inside myself!!! I used to be so outgoing, always willing to go out, always willing to hang on the beach and go swimming. Now, I sit in the house when everyone else goes to lay out or go to the beach. Going out? Well I do sometimes, but nowehere near as often as I used to. That's just the SOCIAL aspect of it. I won't even go into the itching, bleeding, flaking stinging part of it. I'm sure you know. It's amazing how drastically this has changed my whole life. Long sleeves, jeans, lotions, itching...these things are EVERYday, they are my LIFE now.
You're not alone in your plight at all. The only other being I don't try to hide my skin from is my dog..LOL. Like you, I know NOBODY with P around me. And remember, I live in a college town, so it's NOTHING but skin in the summer everywhere you look. :rolleyes: But seriously, there always seems to be the constant thought in my head, "Can they see my P?" And so, a lot of times, I'm alone. Not to mention my husband is in Iraq. At times I'm almost glad he is. I don't even want to look at my skin, and I sure as hell don't expect him to want to either. For me, this whole experience is so....HUMBLING. I think I make it worse than it COULD be with the way I allow myself to feet about it, but it's hard to deal with this. It's really really really hard.
I wish I could tell you that it'll all be ok, the P will be cured, and you'll never have to worry about it again. I wish I could tell myself that too! :) But, the reality is, it's NOT going to be cured (anytime soon atleast) and all we have the power to do is accept it and fight it with every ounce of energy we are willing to let it take. I know it's not easy girl, ugh, it's SO HARD! But if it makes you feel any better, you are NOT alone. Every morning you wake up, I want you to remember that somewhere in Chapel Hill, NC, I'm wandering around feeling the same as you at that exact moment. Feel free to PM me or anything if you ever want to talk OK?
Today has been one of "those" days for me too, hopefully we'll cheer up some by tomorrow. :D
((HUGS))
Renae
Answers:
I met someone for dinner tonight that i haven't seen in 6 years and they told me i'm still the most beautiful woman they've ever seen. well, wow. i've felt like such crap lately with my p. and this person knows about my p. and looks beyond it....and it was then i realized if i can just put my own self image 'there'...past the p. maybe i wouldnt' hide from so much and be such the introvert.
just thinking out loud here, plue i've had a wine and a marguarita so really, i'm not sure if it's making much sense.
:rolleyes:
d.
Hey everyone! I am feeling lonely today.
Some of you know my story, 3y with p seeing my 1st derm at the end of Oct. I have been married for 7y, 1st yr happy the rest just going through the motions, and have 3 wonderful kids, but I feel so alone.
I don't know anyone with p, I feel like none of the people in my life understand me. It is hard to be the only one in a circle with something like this. Does anyone else feel stuck? It's like p has turned me into a prisoner inside myself. Since I was dx I am an introvert because I don't want people to look at me long enough to realize there is something different about me. I have tried to be brave and say I don't care what anyone thinks but it is not that easy for me. My self esteem is way down and I geuss I am just having a real bad day. I hate feeling so ugly. Am I alone in this? I hope you all don't mind me whining to you, I don't have anyone else to listen.
Kim S.
Answers:
Thanks so much you guys! I have to say you are the nicest people, everyone I know would have told me to stop whining and get over it. I am trying so hard to deal with this maybe I need a marguarita, or two. I am glad to hear kind words and that I am not alone, maybe someone will think I am beautiful even with the p someday, something to hope for.
Thanks, I don't know what I would do without some place to whine some times. You guys are the best!
Kim S.
Answers:
Hey, Kim, might be a long shot here but I was having some problems with being clear of all things. Anyway my regular doc gave me lexapro and then I went to a shrink. Seemed to work. Lexapro is an antidepressant that changes you brain chemistry. You can talk to your doc about it to see what he or she thinks. Just might help if you need it.
Answers:
Thanks so much you guys! I have to say you are the nicest people, everyone I know would have told me to stop whining and get over it. I am trying so hard to deal with this maybe I need a marguarita, or two. I am glad to hear kind words and that I am not alone, maybe someone will think I am beautiful even with the p someday, something to hope for.
Thanks, I don't know what I would do without some place to whine some times. You guys are the best!
Kim S.
hi kim
you are a beautiful person. some times i think the same way. but at leaset we have here.
try and have a good day. i know what you mean.
richard
Answers:
Hi Kim,
I'm very sorry you are having a bad time right now. I understand the entire married life "going through the motions" part very well. I was married for 12 years and now am single again. I'm very very nervous about getting involved with someone, because I don't know if I can deal with finding someone who can look past the p right now. Maybe someday. I get depressed about that, too. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. I am very fortunate that I have a beautiful son in my life, but lets face it, I will have to let go one day and then what? We are all lucky that we have this place to rant and rave when there is no one else who can truely understand. Just keep on posting, you will find more and more people here that will make you at ease with just about everything.
BTW, from the little picture next to your name I'd have to say you are very beautiful. I would think there are many many more people out there that would agree with me.
Take care of yourself. I look forward to reading more posts.
Answers:
Hey, Kim, might be a long shot here but I was having some problems with being clear of all things. Anyway my regular doc gave me lexapro and then I went to a shrink. Seemed to work. Lexapro is an antidepressant that changes you brain chemistry. You can talk to your doc about it to see what he or she thinks. Just might help if you need it.
Maybe your right, a shrink could help, I need someone to talk to, not big on antidepressants, I have been on a few different ones since I developed p and all of them have given me just about every side effect on the label. I guess my brain chemistry doesn't want to be messed around with. The drs keep saying they can try a different one but I don't feel suicidal or anything so we have decided I am okay without them. Thanks for the suggestion, I just might try it.
Kim S.
Answers:
well the day has come Kim *I* think you're beautiful! And I'm certain I'm not the only one...
hang in there
hope you feel better today
xoxo
Denise
Answers:
You are gorgeous!!!!! :) Please feel better!!!
Answers:
Hi Ki
I have been married for 32 years and if you asked my husband about psoriasis all he could tell you is that it's a skin disease. Sometimes I wonder does he even care how it affects me or maybe it doesn't bother him to see it. I asked him once to read an article in the NPF Advance, so he could better understand this disease and give me the support I so desperately needed. Needless to say he never read it and I didn't push it anymore. When I first got this horrible disease at age 18, my mother (I love her with all my heart) told me that God was punishing me for wearing short skirts, and that I would never wear a short skirt again. Like I was being cursed for being young.
I have found the support at these message boards and it has been a God send. My husband probably thinks I'm having an online affair because I'm always on this computer reading all the post. lol
I hope you are feeling better and know we are all here for each other Fighting in numbers is what it is all about. :) :)
Jolene
Answers:
I have had p for over 20 years and I have been married for 30...I had a terrible flare for over 2 years, and my skin is clear now...My DH is always telling me how beautiful my skin looks now.....He was so helpful to me, helping me put my meds on every night, and he never complained about it...
You are beautiful inside and out!
Hang in there because, in the mean time you have us! :D
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