Question:
For mother day all i got from my 21 year old son was a happy mother day posted on my (myspace webpage) :mad: .
:(
I'm sorry your upset.
Mom's should be appreciated & loved every day...and I'm sure your son really does appreciate & love you. Maybe the sentiment was there even though it wasn't what you expected.
My daughter called me, and my sisters and sisters in law. That was okay with me, I was happy to hear from her ...OH and got a card in the mail from a good friend today which really made me smile!!
Wishing you a belated happy mom's day myrcrr.
Karen
myrcrr,
Try not to be upset. These kids get to the point where they think they don't need a mother.
I have 2 sons and one is very thoughful and the other is :confused:
There has been times when we didn't even know where he was or what he's doing. There was a time when we didn't hear from him for months at a time. Thank goodness he has finally settled and knows we love him anyway.
myrcrr,
Try to feel good. My 32 year old son didn't contact me in anyway. His wife doesn't like me and makes no bones about it. I haven't heard from them (except the Christmas card I got) since last summer. Right now, I don't like his wife any more then she likes me. So, I guess you could say the feeling is mutual.
Try to feel better. At least he remembered it was Mother's Day.
Fay
I agree with the other's sentiments and just want to add one more thing. At least you are able to see what he writes on "My Space". He didn't block you! :)
Hey, stuff happens.
You know your son best, but I got one phone message out of 3 kids.
However...my son called 2 days before, just leaving for his wife's grandmother's funeral.
My middle kid (daughter) was in town last Tuesday, and she gave me a facial and we had a great short visit and weeded the rasberries.
My other daughter is the one who left the phone message, and I'm driving to see her next weekend.
Most every year I tell my kids...I don't want things...I want you to help me weed my garden. Or I want a group camping trip.
I don't feel that it is necessary to support the greeting card industry. And if I get even one more pretty candle holder...I'm opening a curio shop.
Doodads anyone? Almost free!
:o
Here is my vent of the day. I play flyball, which I think you all know. It's a really fun sport, but when I go in the ring with my team, I want to win. Now, if someone else on the team isn't in the ring to win, well, I just think they shouldn't be there. This is, afterall, a competition. So, if someone's dog is making mistakes (going around the jumps, dropping the ball) then that person should pull their dog in favor of another dog or take steps to fix the problem. I got a little put out with a team member and told her her dog cost us the race. Now my team is mad a me for being "too competitive."
Folks, why has being competitive gotten to be a bad thing? What is wrong with being competitive? Isn't it human nature to want to do your best? Doesn't everyone want to win? We're Americans! We want to win!
I just don't understand why I'm the bad guy. I wasn't mean when I said it, I was matter of fact.
Thanks for listening. Any insight into why competitiveness is a bad thing would be appreciated.
Fay
Here is my vent of the day. I play flyball, which I think you all know. It's a really fun sport, but when I go in the ring with my team, I want to win. Now, if someone else on the team isn't in the ring to win, well, I just think they shouldn't be there. This is, afterall, a competition. So, if someone's dog is making mistakes (going around the jumps, dropping the ball) then that person should pull their dog in favor of another dog or take steps to fix the problem. I got a little put out with a team member and told her her dog cost us the race. Now my team is mad a me for being "too competitive."
Folks, why has being competitive gotten to be a bad thing? What is wrong with being competitive? Isn't it human nature to want to do your best? Doesn't everyone want to win? We're Americans! We want to win!
I just don't understand why I'm the bad guy. I wasn't mean when I said it, I was matter of fact.
Thanks for listening. Any insight into why competitiveness is a bad thing would be appreciated.
Fay
It has a lot to do with .......... well........... I won't mention it.
It is for the same reason they want to take away the "Student of the Month", or "Not keeping score in ball games" etc... because little Johnny might get his feeling hurt....
I say screw little Johnny.
He needs to grow up and fend for himself.
The babying of the kids nowadays is just making our country weaker.
If it were me in charge I would make compititon manditory.
It gives self esteem to the kids, and makes them try harder.
In turn will make them try harder in real life, and become soemthing instead of a Welfare junky.
OK, that was my RANT!!!!!!!!!
Yeah Scott! You get me. That's what I'm saying. We should be competitive. Otherwise, why compete? What's the point?
Oh, but, (ha ha) Flyball is a dog sport, not a kid sport. :o These are adults I'm talking about. Middle aged kids, I guess.
My rant: This year my son is the Valedictorian of his class. He earned this by working hard and being competitive with the rest of the students in his class. He informed me that next year they are going to recognize the top 5 students instead of the traditional top two. The school feels that it is putting too much pressure on the kids. In my opinion the real world is competitive and you have to step up to the plate.
Like my DH says: If you are not the lead dog, the view never changes.
Thanks for allowing me to rant.
Cindy
That's just ridiculous! And the year after next will they honor the top 10? Then the next year the top 25? The top 100? There's no stopping it. What's the point of working hard and doing your best? I just don't get it. Am I the one who is out of step with the world?
That's just ridiculous! And the year after next will they honor the top 10? Then the next year the top 25? The top 100? There's no stopping it. What's the point of working hard and doing your best? I just don't get it. Am I the one who is out of step with the world?
That's just it.
Some up there do not want anyone to be better than the rest.
They want everyone at one level.
They can control them a lot better.
Hi All!
We haven't had to use this thread for a couple of weeks, but I just had a phone call that drove me crazy and I needed to vent!
I work at my church, as I'm sure you already know. We help the community as much as we can, our church give away over 100,000 in outreach money every year. I just had a call from a woman who wanted money to pay her utility bills. I said, I'm sorry, we don't have a priest here today and only a priest can help. She got really mad and said that she was sure I was lying and that I was just not letting her talk to the priest. (Now why would I do that?) To which I replied, Why would I do that? She said it's because you don't like me! ??? I don't even know her! She said, it's because I'm deaf isn't it!! I didn't know she was deaf! How would I know that? She was talking to me, she answered me when I spoke to her. I'm sorry, but that is just crazy! She said, I bet you put people through to the priest who can hear. And then she said she was going to call City Hall. I said, Go ahead!
What is wrong with people? If they want the church to help, don't they know they need to be nice? When I see the priest on Monday, you can bet your lucky stars I'm going to tell him. We have caller ID and I wrote her name down.
Thanks, I feel better now.
Fay
She got really mad and said that she was sure I was lying and that I was just not letting her talk to the priest. (Now why would I do that?) To which I replied, Why would I do that? She said it's because you don't like me! ??? I don't even know her! She said, it's because I'm deaf isn't it!! I didn't know she was deaf! How would I know that?
Fay
-blinks- I had that happen to me once, but it was online in a chat room. Some girl randomly messaged me, and we started to talk, shortly there after but then my parents told me to get off the computer. I told her, "I'm sorry, but I have to go." and she's like "Why?! Is it because I'm black?!" and I'm like, "You're black? When and how would I know this?" <.< people are so silly sometimes.
The kid thing.......I want out. And I want it fast.
I have 3. 26, 23, 14. My 26 yr is the co creator of the new game boy advance games-computer genious that I thought would be in jail by the time he was 15! he had severe ADHD. Now, he just got engaged to a lovely girl he's been with for 6 yrs, they bought a house, and Im very very rpoud of him. ADHD children are not easy to deal with, and I thought he aged me about 20 yrs. Now I see I was totally wrong.
My 23 yr old is the one. I don't understand it either. They come from the same mother, they have the same father, we taught them the same values, morals, right from wrongs, this despite being divorced from their dad for 20 yrs now. My ex and I stayed freinds over the years and the boys always had access to Daddy and Daddy and Mommy didn't fight, we didn't pit them against each other, none of that.
He shows a severe lack of responsibility no matter what I do. Tough love? How much tougher does it have to get? You'd think after learning it with my first one I'd be better at it but I guess Im not. Im so drained tonight, I feel so hurt tonight and nothing I think or say to myself is making it any better.
Two years ago, my aging mother put a cell phone in her name for him. Subsequently she added a two phones-one for her and one for my aunt, and he added one for his girfriend. Time after time they had trouble getting on their feet financially, keeping a job, paying what they were supposed to pay. We'd help them out-not bail them out, help them out-they could never stick to the rules. Months ago he was crying that he can't pay room and board and his truck payment (truck we sold him for 2000 but the book value on it was 8000). His R&B was 200, and his truck payment was 200.00. This last 4 months. Long story short, we demanded they turn off the cell phones pay the last bill so they could get on their feet and get an apartment.
Instead of shutting the phone off correctly, he didn't pay the bill. I learned a couple weeks ago that it was outstanding. I continually told him I wanted it paid. Now the bill is up to 1300.00 because of early terminatioin fee's. My mother calls everyday haunting me over this, my son tells me "he's taking care of it". Today I got a collection notice, they placed it in a collection agency (and my mother has impecable credit). My son went to the store to try to work it out with them (so he says)-no result. I called I spoke to them, my son gave me 300.00. I thought I had it all worked out with them where they would turn my mom's phone back on. I gave them an electronic payment of 757.00 (my remaining budget), and low and behold after I had done that, not only did they tell me-too bead..."you need a 2000.00 deposit to turn the phones back on", but you still owe the termination fees. Now, not only do I not have money to live on for the next week or so, but any money I was trying to save towards the big engagement party Im throwing on July 14th is gone (invitations have been out for a month already).
I don't make it a habit of hating my children. I've done everything I can to raise them right. I feel so slapped in the face I don't even want to look at him. I did tell him he has to leave the house-find somewhere else to live-I cannot take it anymore. Moments ago he drove back up. After Im finished venting here, i will go downstairs and reitterate myself-as much as it's going to kill me to put him out he's my son and I love him, but enough is enough now. I feel like the stump from that childhood book "the giving tree" I only have a stump left-he took everything else already.
It sucks to have such conflicting feelings. Im trying to congratulate one child with a party, and Im throwing the other out? Anyone see the contrast here? How could I have raised such very different children?
Thanks for letting me vent something here which I wouldn't normally vent to anyone else because it is so private to me.
Elaine
Ah, Elaine. I'm so sorry. I wish there were words, but there really aren't. I hope you find a way to work this out. I know it's got to be the toughest thing you'll ever do. Do you have someone who would work with you as far as counseling is concerned? A clergy person perhaps? Good luck. I know you are hurting so much.
Fay
He won't see a counselor, I tried that. Were not a religious family (although very spiritual) so we don't have a clergy. Believe me we have tried and tried. Tonight I wrote him a letter. There are no other words that need to be spoken. This is just the type of situation that has to happen in order for him to learn. He just doesn't want to grow up I think. His freinds are important, getting his feet on the ground is second. I've explained over and over I won't be able to do this for him,and I have done everything within my power to detach and let him handle things. :confused: :confused: :confused:
Yes I am hurting this is very painful and I can't stop crying. Still feeling the effects of the pneumonia doesn't help. Thanks for listening to my rant. Just knowing someone else read it and cares means alot. ;) This post probably should have been put on the emotional site lol because that's what I am tonight. :(
Elaine
hi elaine,
i hope you are feeling better today. i know what you are saying. my son lives right next to us but im lucky if i see him 2 times a month. i wish you the best my friend
try and have a good week end all
richard
sometimes you have to be tough on them even if it breaks your heart...and just hope and pray someday they will grow up and understand..
Hey Guys!
I was arranging altar flowers this morning with a lovely lady who is also member of our church. She said, "Sweetie, what's wrong with your hands?" I said I have psoriasis and she said, "Oh, I have that, too." And she showed me a spot on her arm that was about the size of half a dime. She said, "I know just how your feel!" No. I didn't burst out laughing. I just nodded. We were, after all, standing next to the altar and she was trying to relate.
Don't you just love it?
Fay
Too funny pgerup. I had a pharmacist ask what was on my hands once. I replied psoriasis. He then said he had never seen it that bad. Then he said, "Y'know they lotions for that"
Thanks alot.
:(
Answers:
I'm sorry your upset.
Mom's should be appreciated & loved every day...and I'm sure your son really does appreciate & love you. Maybe the sentiment was there even though it wasn't what you expected.
My daughter called me, and my sisters and sisters in law. That was okay with me, I was happy to hear from her ...OH and got a card in the mail from a good friend today which really made me smile!!
Wishing you a belated happy mom's day myrcrr.
Karen
Answers:
myrcrr,
Try not to be upset. These kids get to the point where they think they don't need a mother.
I have 2 sons and one is very thoughful and the other is :confused:
There has been times when we didn't even know where he was or what he's doing. There was a time when we didn't hear from him for months at a time. Thank goodness he has finally settled and knows we love him anyway.
Answers:
myrcrr,
Try to feel good. My 32 year old son didn't contact me in anyway. His wife doesn't like me and makes no bones about it. I haven't heard from them (except the Christmas card I got) since last summer. Right now, I don't like his wife any more then she likes me. So, I guess you could say the feeling is mutual.
Try to feel better. At least he remembered it was Mother's Day.
Fay
Answers:
I agree with the other's sentiments and just want to add one more thing. At least you are able to see what he writes on "My Space". He didn't block you! :)
Answers:
Hey, stuff happens.
You know your son best, but I got one phone message out of 3 kids.
However...my son called 2 days before, just leaving for his wife's grandmother's funeral.
My middle kid (daughter) was in town last Tuesday, and she gave me a facial and we had a great short visit and weeded the rasberries.
My other daughter is the one who left the phone message, and I'm driving to see her next weekend.
Most every year I tell my kids...I don't want things...I want you to help me weed my garden. Or I want a group camping trip.
I don't feel that it is necessary to support the greeting card industry. And if I get even one more pretty candle holder...I'm opening a curio shop.
Doodads anyone? Almost free!
:o
Answers:
Here is my vent of the day. I play flyball, which I think you all know. It's a really fun sport, but when I go in the ring with my team, I want to win. Now, if someone else on the team isn't in the ring to win, well, I just think they shouldn't be there. This is, afterall, a competition. So, if someone's dog is making mistakes (going around the jumps, dropping the ball) then that person should pull their dog in favor of another dog or take steps to fix the problem. I got a little put out with a team member and told her her dog cost us the race. Now my team is mad a me for being "too competitive."
Folks, why has being competitive gotten to be a bad thing? What is wrong with being competitive? Isn't it human nature to want to do your best? Doesn't everyone want to win? We're Americans! We want to win!
I just don't understand why I'm the bad guy. I wasn't mean when I said it, I was matter of fact.
Thanks for listening. Any insight into why competitiveness is a bad thing would be appreciated.
Fay
Answers:
Here is my vent of the day. I play flyball, which I think you all know. It's a really fun sport, but when I go in the ring with my team, I want to win. Now, if someone else on the team isn't in the ring to win, well, I just think they shouldn't be there. This is, afterall, a competition. So, if someone's dog is making mistakes (going around the jumps, dropping the ball) then that person should pull their dog in favor of another dog or take steps to fix the problem. I got a little put out with a team member and told her her dog cost us the race. Now my team is mad a me for being "too competitive."
Folks, why has being competitive gotten to be a bad thing? What is wrong with being competitive? Isn't it human nature to want to do your best? Doesn't everyone want to win? We're Americans! We want to win!
I just don't understand why I'm the bad guy. I wasn't mean when I said it, I was matter of fact.
Thanks for listening. Any insight into why competitiveness is a bad thing would be appreciated.
Fay
It has a lot to do with .......... well........... I won't mention it.
It is for the same reason they want to take away the "Student of the Month", or "Not keeping score in ball games" etc... because little Johnny might get his feeling hurt....
I say screw little Johnny.
He needs to grow up and fend for himself.
The babying of the kids nowadays is just making our country weaker.
If it were me in charge I would make compititon manditory.
It gives self esteem to the kids, and makes them try harder.
In turn will make them try harder in real life, and become soemthing instead of a Welfare junky.
OK, that was my RANT!!!!!!!!!
Answers:
Yeah Scott! You get me. That's what I'm saying. We should be competitive. Otherwise, why compete? What's the point?
Oh, but, (ha ha) Flyball is a dog sport, not a kid sport. :o These are adults I'm talking about. Middle aged kids, I guess.
Answers:
My rant: This year my son is the Valedictorian of his class. He earned this by working hard and being competitive with the rest of the students in his class. He informed me that next year they are going to recognize the top 5 students instead of the traditional top two. The school feels that it is putting too much pressure on the kids. In my opinion the real world is competitive and you have to step up to the plate.
Like my DH says: If you are not the lead dog, the view never changes.
Thanks for allowing me to rant.
Cindy
Answers:
That's just ridiculous! And the year after next will they honor the top 10? Then the next year the top 25? The top 100? There's no stopping it. What's the point of working hard and doing your best? I just don't get it. Am I the one who is out of step with the world?
Answers:
That's just ridiculous! And the year after next will they honor the top 10? Then the next year the top 25? The top 100? There's no stopping it. What's the point of working hard and doing your best? I just don't get it. Am I the one who is out of step with the world?
That's just it.
Some up there do not want anyone to be better than the rest.
They want everyone at one level.
They can control them a lot better.
Answers:
Hi All!
We haven't had to use this thread for a couple of weeks, but I just had a phone call that drove me crazy and I needed to vent!
I work at my church, as I'm sure you already know. We help the community as much as we can, our church give away over 100,000 in outreach money every year. I just had a call from a woman who wanted money to pay her utility bills. I said, I'm sorry, we don't have a priest here today and only a priest can help. She got really mad and said that she was sure I was lying and that I was just not letting her talk to the priest. (Now why would I do that?) To which I replied, Why would I do that? She said it's because you don't like me! ??? I don't even know her! She said, it's because I'm deaf isn't it!! I didn't know she was deaf! How would I know that? She was talking to me, she answered me when I spoke to her. I'm sorry, but that is just crazy! She said, I bet you put people through to the priest who can hear. And then she said she was going to call City Hall. I said, Go ahead!
What is wrong with people? If they want the church to help, don't they know they need to be nice? When I see the priest on Monday, you can bet your lucky stars I'm going to tell him. We have caller ID and I wrote her name down.
Thanks, I feel better now.
Fay
Answers:
She got really mad and said that she was sure I was lying and that I was just not letting her talk to the priest. (Now why would I do that?) To which I replied, Why would I do that? She said it's because you don't like me! ??? I don't even know her! She said, it's because I'm deaf isn't it!! I didn't know she was deaf! How would I know that?
Fay
-blinks- I had that happen to me once, but it was online in a chat room. Some girl randomly messaged me, and we started to talk, shortly there after but then my parents told me to get off the computer. I told her, "I'm sorry, but I have to go." and she's like "Why?! Is it because I'm black?!" and I'm like, "You're black? When and how would I know this?" <.< people are so silly sometimes.
Answers:
The kid thing.......I want out. And I want it fast.
I have 3. 26, 23, 14. My 26 yr is the co creator of the new game boy advance games-computer genious that I thought would be in jail by the time he was 15! he had severe ADHD. Now, he just got engaged to a lovely girl he's been with for 6 yrs, they bought a house, and Im very very rpoud of him. ADHD children are not easy to deal with, and I thought he aged me about 20 yrs. Now I see I was totally wrong.
My 23 yr old is the one. I don't understand it either. They come from the same mother, they have the same father, we taught them the same values, morals, right from wrongs, this despite being divorced from their dad for 20 yrs now. My ex and I stayed freinds over the years and the boys always had access to Daddy and Daddy and Mommy didn't fight, we didn't pit them against each other, none of that.
He shows a severe lack of responsibility no matter what I do. Tough love? How much tougher does it have to get? You'd think after learning it with my first one I'd be better at it but I guess Im not. Im so drained tonight, I feel so hurt tonight and nothing I think or say to myself is making it any better.
Two years ago, my aging mother put a cell phone in her name for him. Subsequently she added a two phones-one for her and one for my aunt, and he added one for his girfriend. Time after time they had trouble getting on their feet financially, keeping a job, paying what they were supposed to pay. We'd help them out-not bail them out, help them out-they could never stick to the rules. Months ago he was crying that he can't pay room and board and his truck payment (truck we sold him for 2000 but the book value on it was 8000). His R&B was 200, and his truck payment was 200.00. This last 4 months. Long story short, we demanded they turn off the cell phones pay the last bill so they could get on their feet and get an apartment.
Instead of shutting the phone off correctly, he didn't pay the bill. I learned a couple weeks ago that it was outstanding. I continually told him I wanted it paid. Now the bill is up to 1300.00 because of early terminatioin fee's. My mother calls everyday haunting me over this, my son tells me "he's taking care of it". Today I got a collection notice, they placed it in a collection agency (and my mother has impecable credit). My son went to the store to try to work it out with them (so he says)-no result. I called I spoke to them, my son gave me 300.00. I thought I had it all worked out with them where they would turn my mom's phone back on. I gave them an electronic payment of 757.00 (my remaining budget), and low and behold after I had done that, not only did they tell me-too bead..."you need a 2000.00 deposit to turn the phones back on", but you still owe the termination fees. Now, not only do I not have money to live on for the next week or so, but any money I was trying to save towards the big engagement party Im throwing on July 14th is gone (invitations have been out for a month already).
I don't make it a habit of hating my children. I've done everything I can to raise them right. I feel so slapped in the face I don't even want to look at him. I did tell him he has to leave the house-find somewhere else to live-I cannot take it anymore. Moments ago he drove back up. After Im finished venting here, i will go downstairs and reitterate myself-as much as it's going to kill me to put him out he's my son and I love him, but enough is enough now. I feel like the stump from that childhood book "the giving tree" I only have a stump left-he took everything else already.
It sucks to have such conflicting feelings. Im trying to congratulate one child with a party, and Im throwing the other out? Anyone see the contrast here? How could I have raised such very different children?
Thanks for letting me vent something here which I wouldn't normally vent to anyone else because it is so private to me.
Elaine
Answers:
Ah, Elaine. I'm so sorry. I wish there were words, but there really aren't. I hope you find a way to work this out. I know it's got to be the toughest thing you'll ever do. Do you have someone who would work with you as far as counseling is concerned? A clergy person perhaps? Good luck. I know you are hurting so much.
Fay
Answers:
He won't see a counselor, I tried that. Were not a religious family (although very spiritual) so we don't have a clergy. Believe me we have tried and tried. Tonight I wrote him a letter. There are no other words that need to be spoken. This is just the type of situation that has to happen in order for him to learn. He just doesn't want to grow up I think. His freinds are important, getting his feet on the ground is second. I've explained over and over I won't be able to do this for him,and I have done everything within my power to detach and let him handle things. :confused: :confused: :confused:
Yes I am hurting this is very painful and I can't stop crying. Still feeling the effects of the pneumonia doesn't help. Thanks for listening to my rant. Just knowing someone else read it and cares means alot. ;) This post probably should have been put on the emotional site lol because that's what I am tonight. :(
Elaine
Answers:
hi elaine,
i hope you are feeling better today. i know what you are saying. my son lives right next to us but im lucky if i see him 2 times a month. i wish you the best my friend
try and have a good week end all
richard
Answers:
sometimes you have to be tough on them even if it breaks your heart...and just hope and pray someday they will grow up and understand..
Answers:
Hey Guys!
I was arranging altar flowers this morning with a lovely lady who is also member of our church. She said, "Sweetie, what's wrong with your hands?" I said I have psoriasis and she said, "Oh, I have that, too." And she showed me a spot on her arm that was about the size of half a dime. She said, "I know just how your feel!" No. I didn't burst out laughing. I just nodded. We were, after all, standing next to the altar and she was trying to relate.
Don't you just love it?
Fay
Answers:
Too funny pgerup. I had a pharmacist ask what was on my hands once. I replied psoriasis. He then said he had never seen it that bad. Then he said, "Y'know they lotions for that"
Thanks alot.
1 2