Question:
Something I found funny. Thought i would share.
A penny saved may be a penny earned, but it's a waste of a deposit slip and it really pisses off the tellers.
***
Is sex dirty? Only if done correctly.
***
Marriage is like being hung, right after tying the knot they whip the ground out from under you and your life is over.
***
History doesn't repeat itself, historians repeat each other.
***
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
***
Patience is something admired in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead of you.
***
If you can't say something nice about someone you're probably not alone.
***
Just when you think you're alone the phone rings.
***
If you're losing the game, change the rules, if you can't change the rules, ignore them.
***
A fool and his money are soon... Hey! Where's my wallet?
***
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
***
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I'll always have each other.
***
If you want something said ask a man, if you want something done ask a woman.
***
Women need 4 animals in their life...
1 - A Mink on her back
2 - A Jaguar in her garage
3 - A Tiger in her bed
4 - And a JACKASS to pay for it all...
***
"Exercise is bunk. If you're sick you shouldn't take it, and if you're healthy you don't need it." -- Henry Ford
***
I'm not opinionated. I'm just always right.
***
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself. " -- Mark Twain
***
Nixon discussing Kissinger with then VP Nelson Rockefeller:
Nixon: "I'm proud to have appointed Henry Kissinger as Secretary of State. He's certainly the most intelligent man in history to ever hold the office.
Rockefeller: " Yes. But no man in history has ever been as intelligent as Henry thinks he is."
***
"Women, you can't live with 'em... Pass the beer nuts." -- Norm Peterson
***
The more people I meet each day the more I like my dog.
***
Patience: the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears!
***
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes....
***
If history repeats itself why is there never any reruns of the six o'clock news.
***
Mixed emotions: When your mother-in-law drives your new car over the cliff.
***
Famous Playwright sent Churchill two tickets to opening night saying, "Bring a friend,... if you have one."
Churchill sent regrets saying, "Can't make opening night, I can come the 2nd night, ... if there is one."
***
"God may have created man, but Samuel Colt made 'em equal." --Robert Calmes
***
"BE GOOD AND YOU WILL BE LONELY" -- MARK TWAIN
***
Never buy a pitbull from a one armed man.
***
Why shouldn't you have sex with your wife first thing in the morning?
Because you've got all day to find something better!
***
The reason some people are alive is simply because it's against the law to kill them.
***
Bumper sticker I saw:
HORN DOESN'T WORK
watch for finger........
***
Sex is NOT the answer.....Sex is the question. YES is the answer!!!
***
Lady Astor: "If I were your wife I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband I'd drink it."
***
YOU CAN'T GET AHEAD WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET EVEN!
***
Never trust a proctologist with both hands on your shoulders.
***
For every action, there is an equal but opposite Government program.
***
Be careful the toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you kiss tomorrow.
hi dennis,
thank you for sharing that. it make me laugh :D :D :D
have a good night all
richard
A penny saved may be a penny earned, but it's a waste of a deposit slip and it really pisses off the tellers.
***
Is sex dirty? Only if done correctly.
***
Marriage is like being hung, right after tying the knot they whip the ground out from under you and your life is over.
***
History doesn't repeat itself, historians repeat each other.
***
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
***
Patience is something admired in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead of you.
***
If you can't say something nice about someone you're probably not alone.
***
Just when you think you're alone the phone rings.
***
If you're losing the game, change the rules, if you can't change the rules, ignore them.
***
A fool and his money are soon... Hey! Where's my wallet?
***
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
***
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I'll always have each other.
***
If you want something said ask a man, if you want something done ask a woman.
***
Women need 4 animals in their life...
1 - A Mink on her back
2 - A Jaguar in her garage
3 - A Tiger in her bed
4 - And a JACKASS to pay for it all...
***
"Exercise is bunk. If you're sick you shouldn't take it, and if you're healthy you don't need it." -- Henry Ford
***
I'm not opinionated. I'm just always right.
***
"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself. " -- Mark Twain
***
Nixon discussing Kissinger with then VP Nelson Rockefeller:
Nixon: "I'm proud to have appointed Henry Kissinger as Secretary of State. He's certainly the most intelligent man in history to ever hold the office.
Rockefeller: " Yes. But no man in history has ever been as intelligent as Henry thinks he is."
***
"Women, you can't live with 'em... Pass the beer nuts." -- Norm Peterson
***
The more people I meet each day the more I like my dog.
***
Patience: the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears!
***
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes....
***
If history repeats itself why is there never any reruns of the six o'clock news.
***
Mixed emotions: When your mother-in-law drives your new car over the cliff.
***
Famous Playwright sent Churchill two tickets to opening night saying, "Bring a friend,... if you have one."
Churchill sent regrets saying, "Can't make opening night, I can come the 2nd night, ... if there is one."
***
"God may have created man, but Samuel Colt made 'em equal." --Robert Calmes
***
"BE GOOD AND YOU WILL BE LONELY" -- MARK TWAIN
***
Never buy a pitbull from a one armed man.
***
Why shouldn't you have sex with your wife first thing in the morning?
Because you've got all day to find something better!
***
The reason some people are alive is simply because it's against the law to kill them.
***
Bumper sticker I saw:
HORN DOESN'T WORK
watch for finger........
***
Sex is NOT the answer.....Sex is the question. YES is the answer!!!
***
Lady Astor: "If I were your wife I'd poison your tea."
Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband I'd drink it."
***
YOU CAN'T GET AHEAD WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET EVEN!
***
Never trust a proctologist with both hands on your shoulders.
***
For every action, there is an equal but opposite Government program.
***
Be careful the toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you kiss tomorrow.
Answers:
hi dennis,
thank you for sharing that. it make me laugh :D :D :D
have a good night all
richard
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