Question:
i can't sleep. i call kyle and can't get him over half the time. he never call's back. i feel that im never there for him. but how can i. he don't want to come to here. i asked. i don't know what he is doing. the house thing. is a joke any more. we were to fl and i just feel like selling every thing i have and just moving there. i had i great time there. i love polly and just want to get them out to are new house. if i quit tomarrow. like i feel like doing. 20 years and they care more for the people that don't come then the people who do. life can be the funny's thing in the world to get through. there are people who have every thing and don't think about it and poeple who have nothing and care about that nothing that they have. well enough of baoring you all. sleep time for me.
have a good night all
richard
love you polly and some day we will have a beatiful house.
Awwww Rich kyle is a teenager now, and they become distant and moody. They dont want to be as close to us anymore. They think they know it all. Dont let it get you down Rich. There comes a time when they will seek out your company again, just be patient it will happen. You and Polly will have a great place some day soon, just hang in there, it will get better.
Patty
Listen, as the mother of two boys (now 25 & 21) I can speak from experience.
My ex husband used to feel the same way. Paul and I split very amicably when the boys were younger. He and I always had a great relationship, I even like his wife better than him!l lol. The boys love their Dad, and I always encouraged a closerelationship with Dad, but they get to a point in life where their freinds are more important. That's their way of spreading their wings Rich. Unfortunately from the ages of 13-20....they really don't want any part of us (Mom's either), and it's all about "gimme, gimme, gimme".
The good news is at 20, they start realizing how hard it was for Mom and Dad to raise them. From the 25 yr old, I now hear things like "I hated you for doing that Mom, but now I realize it was the best thing you could have done for me". Just the other day my 21 yr old made me cry by playing a new rap song called "Hey mama". The lyrics are all about how he was a stupid selfish kid growing up but now he's going to make his Mama proud of him.
I know you feel like you've lost him, but fear not......it's part of the process. He'll be back. Just as my boys are with their Dad. They love Dad like there's no tomorrow, and I hear them say things like "I love Dad, but now when I have time for him all he wants to do is sit on the couch, I have to push him out the door"!. New Years, my ex threw a big party. Both the boys and their girls stayed there. The next day there was no talking to any of them because they all had hangovers! That was the first time their Dad ever got them drunk, but they were legal lol.
You have made a substantial investment in Kyle. That does not get forgotten, it just goes on hold while he's busy spreading his wings and finding himself-trust me.
About the house? I can tell you from experience my freind that it's a lesson in patience like non other. If you are dealing with inspectors giving you a hard time, get right up in their faces and let them know and stop anw you are not going to take their "chit". It's the only way because they love to intimidate and prevent any building that they can in PA. They tried this with us this past summer over a deck, until I let them know very forcefully that I was disabled and I would build a freakin deck on the top of my house if I wanted and there wouldn't be a damn thing they could do unless they want to play with the ADA laws!
All is not lost buddy, just different. You guys have been through alot of change lately, and change takes time. Breathe and relax, things will fall into place, Kyle will come around, and as soon as you make the inspectors see that your gonna make them a deal they can't refuse, the building will get underway........be forceful with them my freind. Unfortunately PA feels that they don't want "clutter", and any type of building to them is clutter. Fight them.
Elaine
Rich,
Elaine and Patty are right. Kyle is a teenager and he is more worried about running. You ARE there for him. You are the most wonderful dad. I'm glad that my girls have you as their dad. You have been more of a dad to them in these past 4 and a half months then their biological dad has been to them all their lives.
Yes we will have the house soon. I know you are frustrated about it but it will happen.
I have to say that I used to feel like giving up when I was stuck there in Florida. Things always have a way of working themselves out. All of this will work out. I don't think I have ever been as happy as I am now.
I love you baby!!!!
Polly
Oh Rich,
I hate it that you're so bummed out. You & Polly are some of the nicest people I've met in a long time. An unfortunate fact of life is that the people who care the most, hurt the most.
It's the same at my job. The theives and slackers seem to roll right along and the hard workers either get fed up and quit or just stay frustrated. I've never been able to figure that one out.
I don't know about your house problems, but it sounds like a bunch of small-minded bureaucrats giving you a hard time. Only two ways two deal with those kind of people, kiss their butts and make them think they're wonderful or give 'em a big ROAR and threaten to go to THEIR supervisor! Elaine's right, they thrive on intimidating people.
I hope everything works out for you all, you deserve to be happy.
Lindsay
Oh Rich...these folks are right. He is a teenager.......things will get better. Just continue to call him and invite him over....at least he will know you are thinking about him and want to see him. He will come around.....when he slows down a bit. I think sometimes kids forget us parents have feelings too. They don't mean to hurt our feelings...they just don't think sometimes. As far as the house goes.....you will have a house....when the right one comes along. You are probably just tired right now....I know I tend to get down when I can't sleep and I am tired. I hope you get some rest. I am glad you Polly and the kids had a good time in Florida!!! And hey....I understand about the job thingy....I am so bored with mine right now I hate going into the office. Chin up!!!
hello all
thank you for your great advise and sorry it took me so long to get back to you. your are wonderful people who im glad to have meet. nj went smoke free in like all buildings. but the guys at work aren't doing it. to many bad things in the air in there any way. no one is telling them to stop either.
have a great week end all
richard
thank you my friends
Rich,
Everyone has given you excellent advice. Stay strong and keep that unconditional love flowing for Kyle. It will pay off in the long run for both of you. It will keep you from ever having to feel guilty about anything. And it will let Kyle know that he is loved (even if he is rebelling). Remember that although you have told him you didn't leave him, he's going to harbor that in the back of his mind. And he may be over hearing things that Robin says that confuse him.
XOXO
Annie
hi annie,
thank you my friend and i will do that. i think she is saying things to. i wantn't put nothing passed her. im going to see if kyle wants to go with us out to eat tonight. i hope hes dose.
have a good day my friend
richard
Rich,
Take it from me, im only 19 and i did the whole distant thing from my mom after my dad passed away when i was 12. I went threw alot of things but i reilized about when i was 16 how hard it is for a parent to raise a kid. Its just a phase hes going threw, all kids do it, u prolly got distant when u were young too. Jus keep on tryin to call him, and hey ask him if anything is bothering him. Its good to know when a parent cares and wants to help u out.
hi redheader2005,
thank you. i talked to kyle 2 times today. he called to ask me what oil goes in the 4 wheeler. that made me feel good in some ways. that kyle still needs my help. not to give him a kiss every moring before going to work hurts alot. but like any one that don't see there kid ever day. it can hurt the soul. thank you my friend
have a good night all
richard
love to you all
Well thats good thats hes calling u and asking for advice. Yes knowing that he still needs u is a big big up lift. Jus like today, i have a massive ear infection in both of my ears and while my mom was puttin ear drops in my ears i asked her "did u ever think ud still b babying me while i got sick when i was 19 yrs old". She replied "no matter if u live here or when u move ill always baby u when ur sick". Its nice to know that my mom will always b there for me when ya kno i do need that "mommy" comfort. I kno it feels good for her to know her lil girl still comes to her for help n comfort. Ill tell u what..i no ur a great dad no matter what. I lost my dad at 12 but he was a damn great dad for those 12 yrs of my life. Kyle will always look up to u and u r truely a "hero" to him. Just keep calling him and talking with him...he'll start to become less distant..trust me!!!!
Red...you have a wonderful attitude. I lost my dad when I was 21...I have such fond memories of times with him. He was the best. Rich...I hope you are feeling better. I am so glad Kyle called you...just the little things mean a lot!!
Red...you have a wonderful attitude. I lost my dad when I was 21...I have such fond memories of times with him. He was the best. Rich...I hope you are feeling better. I am so glad Kyle called you...just the little things mean a lot!!
Janelee,
Ive had to keep a positive attitude because i take care of my mom full time because she has MS and its gettin very bad. I do remember alot of things about my dad was i was still young and didnt think id lose him so i did absorb all the memorys..but things like this do happy n u jus have to live on, but i do miss him...
Oh honey....I know you miss him. I miss my dad too...but I know he is in a better place. He died at the age of 48...that probably sounds old to you since you are so young...but 48 is very young...afterall...I am 42..LOL!! Anyway...he was sick for 14 years with emphysema. He struggled to breath on a daily basis. That is wonderful that you are able to care for your mom. How is her MS? Is it an up and down disease? I have heard that MS is very painful. Bless her heart. You know...everyone has a story. I have to remember that when I get down and have a pity party for myself. It could always be worse. So...do you have P or PA? Anyway...keep up the good attitude. It is rare anymore that we hear good things about teens. The news only talks about the bad stories. You are an inspiration.
hi janelee and redheader2005'
thank you for caring. im glad that you take care of you mom red (if you don't mind that i use that) and sorry you lost your dad so young and how is your mom.
janelee,
sorry you lost your dad so young to (48). im 43 and cain't remember (i had to ask polly to make sure i was). i lost my dad young to. i was like around 2. i miss never getting the chance to know him. im around his age know. what life deals us can be very hard some times. thank you all
have a good night all
richard
Oh honey....I know you miss him. I miss my dad too...but I know he is in a better place. He died at the age of 48...that probably sounds old to you since you are so young...but 48 is very young...afterall...I am 42..LOL!! Anyway...he was sick for 14 years with emphysema. He struggled to breath on a daily basis. That is wonderful that you are able to care for your mom. How is her MS? Is it an up and down disease? I have heard that MS is very painful. Bless her heart. You know...everyone has a story. I have to remember that when I get down and have a pity party for myself. It could always be worse. So...do you have P or PA? Anyway...keep up the good attitude. It is rare anymore that we hear good things about teens. The news only talks about the bad stories. You are an inspiration.
Yeah my dad passed when he was 42. He had Melanoma for almost 5 yrs so he fought for awhile there but finally couldnt go on. But i understand now (didnt back then i was 12) y he finally gave up, he was in pain n god knew it was time to take him in his arms. Ms..hmm basically the easiest way to explain it is..u hav bubble rap around ur spine & MS pops alllll the bubbles & can cause big probs. Sometimes u can fight it (like my bfs aunt, she has ms & is fine). My mom on the other hand her whole left side is dead. Her eyesight, ability to write, & hearing are going. I pretty much became an adult right after my dad died at 12yrs old. I help pay alot of the bills around here sence i was 15. I took alot of time off of high school to stay home with my mom but i did graduate with a 3.0 gpa (yay me). I do have P, i was diagnosed at a couple months old so ive had it all my life. Thanks for sayin that im an inspiration. I try to do my best at bein a great person
hi janelee and redheader2005'
thank you for caring. im glad that you take care of you mom red (if you don't mind that i use that) and sorry you lost your dad so young and how is your mom.
have a good night all
richard
My mom is doing ok right now. Sum think when the weather gets warm here in michigan it would help but sometimes it dont so she has her good n bad days. As long as i give her the shots everyother day and make sure she takes her meds she does pretty well...thanks for asking though.
*Lisa*
Rich...I hope your spirits are lifted and you are feeling better.
.
Lisa...I bet your mom is so proud of you. Tell her that I will pray for her to feel better...and Lisa please stay in touch and share more stories...You are a fantastic person!!
Yeah ill deff keep in touch...if u want to kno NE thing jus ask im open for answers!!!!
i just don't care any more.i try but nothing works. computers, car, house, and evry thing. there has to be a better way. love all
have a good night all
richard
love you polly and some day we will have a beatiful house.
Answers:
Awwww Rich kyle is a teenager now, and they become distant and moody. They dont want to be as close to us anymore. They think they know it all. Dont let it get you down Rich. There comes a time when they will seek out your company again, just be patient it will happen. You and Polly will have a great place some day soon, just hang in there, it will get better.
Patty
Answers:
Listen, as the mother of two boys (now 25 & 21) I can speak from experience.
My ex husband used to feel the same way. Paul and I split very amicably when the boys were younger. He and I always had a great relationship, I even like his wife better than him!l lol. The boys love their Dad, and I always encouraged a closerelationship with Dad, but they get to a point in life where their freinds are more important. That's their way of spreading their wings Rich. Unfortunately from the ages of 13-20....they really don't want any part of us (Mom's either), and it's all about "gimme, gimme, gimme".
The good news is at 20, they start realizing how hard it was for Mom and Dad to raise them. From the 25 yr old, I now hear things like "I hated you for doing that Mom, but now I realize it was the best thing you could have done for me". Just the other day my 21 yr old made me cry by playing a new rap song called "Hey mama". The lyrics are all about how he was a stupid selfish kid growing up but now he's going to make his Mama proud of him.
I know you feel like you've lost him, but fear not......it's part of the process. He'll be back. Just as my boys are with their Dad. They love Dad like there's no tomorrow, and I hear them say things like "I love Dad, but now when I have time for him all he wants to do is sit on the couch, I have to push him out the door"!. New Years, my ex threw a big party. Both the boys and their girls stayed there. The next day there was no talking to any of them because they all had hangovers! That was the first time their Dad ever got them drunk, but they were legal lol.
You have made a substantial investment in Kyle. That does not get forgotten, it just goes on hold while he's busy spreading his wings and finding himself-trust me.
About the house? I can tell you from experience my freind that it's a lesson in patience like non other. If you are dealing with inspectors giving you a hard time, get right up in their faces and let them know and stop anw you are not going to take their "chit". It's the only way because they love to intimidate and prevent any building that they can in PA. They tried this with us this past summer over a deck, until I let them know very forcefully that I was disabled and I would build a freakin deck on the top of my house if I wanted and there wouldn't be a damn thing they could do unless they want to play with the ADA laws!
All is not lost buddy, just different. You guys have been through alot of change lately, and change takes time. Breathe and relax, things will fall into place, Kyle will come around, and as soon as you make the inspectors see that your gonna make them a deal they can't refuse, the building will get underway........be forceful with them my freind. Unfortunately PA feels that they don't want "clutter", and any type of building to them is clutter. Fight them.
Elaine
Answers:
Rich,
Elaine and Patty are right. Kyle is a teenager and he is more worried about running. You ARE there for him. You are the most wonderful dad. I'm glad that my girls have you as their dad. You have been more of a dad to them in these past 4 and a half months then their biological dad has been to them all their lives.
Yes we will have the house soon. I know you are frustrated about it but it will happen.
I have to say that I used to feel like giving up when I was stuck there in Florida. Things always have a way of working themselves out. All of this will work out. I don't think I have ever been as happy as I am now.
I love you baby!!!!
Polly
Answers:
Oh Rich,
I hate it that you're so bummed out. You & Polly are some of the nicest people I've met in a long time. An unfortunate fact of life is that the people who care the most, hurt the most.
It's the same at my job. The theives and slackers seem to roll right along and the hard workers either get fed up and quit or just stay frustrated. I've never been able to figure that one out.
I don't know about your house problems, but it sounds like a bunch of small-minded bureaucrats giving you a hard time. Only two ways two deal with those kind of people, kiss their butts and make them think they're wonderful or give 'em a big ROAR and threaten to go to THEIR supervisor! Elaine's right, they thrive on intimidating people.
I hope everything works out for you all, you deserve to be happy.
Lindsay
Answers:
Oh Rich...these folks are right. He is a teenager.......things will get better. Just continue to call him and invite him over....at least he will know you are thinking about him and want to see him. He will come around.....when he slows down a bit. I think sometimes kids forget us parents have feelings too. They don't mean to hurt our feelings...they just don't think sometimes. As far as the house goes.....you will have a house....when the right one comes along. You are probably just tired right now....I know I tend to get down when I can't sleep and I am tired. I hope you get some rest. I am glad you Polly and the kids had a good time in Florida!!! And hey....I understand about the job thingy....I am so bored with mine right now I hate going into the office. Chin up!!!
Answers:
hello all
thank you for your great advise and sorry it took me so long to get back to you. your are wonderful people who im glad to have meet. nj went smoke free in like all buildings. but the guys at work aren't doing it. to many bad things in the air in there any way. no one is telling them to stop either.
have a great week end all
richard
thank you my friends
Answers:
Rich,
Everyone has given you excellent advice. Stay strong and keep that unconditional love flowing for Kyle. It will pay off in the long run for both of you. It will keep you from ever having to feel guilty about anything. And it will let Kyle know that he is loved (even if he is rebelling). Remember that although you have told him you didn't leave him, he's going to harbor that in the back of his mind. And he may be over hearing things that Robin says that confuse him.
XOXO
Annie
Answers:
hi annie,
thank you my friend and i will do that. i think she is saying things to. i wantn't put nothing passed her. im going to see if kyle wants to go with us out to eat tonight. i hope hes dose.
have a good day my friend
richard
Answers:
Rich,
Take it from me, im only 19 and i did the whole distant thing from my mom after my dad passed away when i was 12. I went threw alot of things but i reilized about when i was 16 how hard it is for a parent to raise a kid. Its just a phase hes going threw, all kids do it, u prolly got distant when u were young too. Jus keep on tryin to call him, and hey ask him if anything is bothering him. Its good to know when a parent cares and wants to help u out.
Answers:
hi redheader2005,
thank you. i talked to kyle 2 times today. he called to ask me what oil goes in the 4 wheeler. that made me feel good in some ways. that kyle still needs my help. not to give him a kiss every moring before going to work hurts alot. but like any one that don't see there kid ever day. it can hurt the soul. thank you my friend
have a good night all
richard
love to you all
Answers:
Well thats good thats hes calling u and asking for advice. Yes knowing that he still needs u is a big big up lift. Jus like today, i have a massive ear infection in both of my ears and while my mom was puttin ear drops in my ears i asked her "did u ever think ud still b babying me while i got sick when i was 19 yrs old". She replied "no matter if u live here or when u move ill always baby u when ur sick". Its nice to know that my mom will always b there for me when ya kno i do need that "mommy" comfort. I kno it feels good for her to know her lil girl still comes to her for help n comfort. Ill tell u what..i no ur a great dad no matter what. I lost my dad at 12 but he was a damn great dad for those 12 yrs of my life. Kyle will always look up to u and u r truely a "hero" to him. Just keep calling him and talking with him...he'll start to become less distant..trust me!!!!
Answers:
Red...you have a wonderful attitude. I lost my dad when I was 21...I have such fond memories of times with him. He was the best. Rich...I hope you are feeling better. I am so glad Kyle called you...just the little things mean a lot!!
Answers:
Red...you have a wonderful attitude. I lost my dad when I was 21...I have such fond memories of times with him. He was the best. Rich...I hope you are feeling better. I am so glad Kyle called you...just the little things mean a lot!!
Janelee,
Ive had to keep a positive attitude because i take care of my mom full time because she has MS and its gettin very bad. I do remember alot of things about my dad was i was still young and didnt think id lose him so i did absorb all the memorys..but things like this do happy n u jus have to live on, but i do miss him...
Answers:
Oh honey....I know you miss him. I miss my dad too...but I know he is in a better place. He died at the age of 48...that probably sounds old to you since you are so young...but 48 is very young...afterall...I am 42..LOL!! Anyway...he was sick for 14 years with emphysema. He struggled to breath on a daily basis. That is wonderful that you are able to care for your mom. How is her MS? Is it an up and down disease? I have heard that MS is very painful. Bless her heart. You know...everyone has a story. I have to remember that when I get down and have a pity party for myself. It could always be worse. So...do you have P or PA? Anyway...keep up the good attitude. It is rare anymore that we hear good things about teens. The news only talks about the bad stories. You are an inspiration.
Answers:
hi janelee and redheader2005'
thank you for caring. im glad that you take care of you mom red (if you don't mind that i use that) and sorry you lost your dad so young and how is your mom.
janelee,
sorry you lost your dad so young to (48). im 43 and cain't remember (i had to ask polly to make sure i was). i lost my dad young to. i was like around 2. i miss never getting the chance to know him. im around his age know. what life deals us can be very hard some times. thank you all
have a good night all
richard
Answers:
Oh honey....I know you miss him. I miss my dad too...but I know he is in a better place. He died at the age of 48...that probably sounds old to you since you are so young...but 48 is very young...afterall...I am 42..LOL!! Anyway...he was sick for 14 years with emphysema. He struggled to breath on a daily basis. That is wonderful that you are able to care for your mom. How is her MS? Is it an up and down disease? I have heard that MS is very painful. Bless her heart. You know...everyone has a story. I have to remember that when I get down and have a pity party for myself. It could always be worse. So...do you have P or PA? Anyway...keep up the good attitude. It is rare anymore that we hear good things about teens. The news only talks about the bad stories. You are an inspiration.
Yeah my dad passed when he was 42. He had Melanoma for almost 5 yrs so he fought for awhile there but finally couldnt go on. But i understand now (didnt back then i was 12) y he finally gave up, he was in pain n god knew it was time to take him in his arms. Ms..hmm basically the easiest way to explain it is..u hav bubble rap around ur spine & MS pops alllll the bubbles & can cause big probs. Sometimes u can fight it (like my bfs aunt, she has ms & is fine). My mom on the other hand her whole left side is dead. Her eyesight, ability to write, & hearing are going. I pretty much became an adult right after my dad died at 12yrs old. I help pay alot of the bills around here sence i was 15. I took alot of time off of high school to stay home with my mom but i did graduate with a 3.0 gpa (yay me). I do have P, i was diagnosed at a couple months old so ive had it all my life. Thanks for sayin that im an inspiration. I try to do my best at bein a great person
Answers:
hi janelee and redheader2005'
thank you for caring. im glad that you take care of you mom red (if you don't mind that i use that) and sorry you lost your dad so young and how is your mom.
have a good night all
richard
My mom is doing ok right now. Sum think when the weather gets warm here in michigan it would help but sometimes it dont so she has her good n bad days. As long as i give her the shots everyother day and make sure she takes her meds she does pretty well...thanks for asking though.
*Lisa*
Answers:
Rich...I hope your spirits are lifted and you are feeling better.
.
Lisa...I bet your mom is so proud of you. Tell her that I will pray for her to feel better...and Lisa please stay in touch and share more stories...You are a fantastic person!!
Answers:
Yeah ill deff keep in touch...if u want to kno NE thing jus ask im open for answers!!!!
Answers:
i just don't care any more.i try but nothing works. computers, car, house, and evry thing. there has to be a better way. love all
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