Collect Questions

((This is something that had be written by me. I normaly don't share stuff like this but I thought this time why not. I hope you can understand the underlying meaning in it))
In many ways it is hard to breathe, hard to think. With each passing day it gets harder and harder.
Harder to breath, to think, to be me. As life ebbs and flows around me. I miss so much in the haze
of pain. A haze of selfdelusion. If you were to collect the tears that have fallen from me. They would
fill an ocean. Tainted with pain, with heartache and frustration. The drive for life ebbs a little
more as the days pass. Pain and sadness takes it hold on me. Gripping me in its terrifying strength.
Squeezing what it can and ripping what it can't from my soul.
With every breath I take, I struggle to live. Struggle just to get through one more day. One more
moment of pain and sadness. I hide in the night. Stifling my tears, hiding my pain. Careful not to
cry out. No more pitying looks or careless platitudes. No more hidden looks or whispered words.
I strive with each passing day to make the most of it. In my childs smile I find joy. In my childs
laugh I find peace. In my childs hug an overwhelming sense of contentment. What keeps my feet planted but
lets me fly.
Friends made and lost along the way fill the void within me that sadness and pain had created. To show me
the way to happiness. Rebuilding my strength to go on. To get through that next day and not give up. To fight
and become what I know inside of me struggles to break free.
As each day passes it starts to get a little easier to breathe a little less painful. Each day the sadness
recedes a little more letting the sun shine through.


Loud and clear, my friend. Phew... that's heavy. Thanks for sharing and being brave.
Krista


I have inner demons and I fight them all the time. I don't think they are demons but maybe more like monkeys, always causing mischief. If life wasn't just a little simpler.


wow....that was beautiful, sad, insightful and heartwarming. Your words touched me and I thank you for sharing this. Your words expressed such reflection with a promise of hope and courage as well...
aloha,
Abby
:rolleyes:


What keeps my feet planted but lets me fly.
Ahhhh ... LOVE that!!
Glad you were moved to think, "why not??" ... thanks for sharing, Gretchen. :)


Thank you! Its hard to put words out there. I know I haven't written anythng in a long time. With all that has happened around the hoemfront and dealing with the day to day stress and aggrivation. Inspiration was at a low. I keep a journal, have since I was a teen.. I dug up an old one from my teens after I had developed P. So much anger and only got worse as time went on. Writing has always been sort of a release for me. To blow off steam and let it all out.

Gretchen
(cricketgurl)


I don't care any longer what is said behind my back.
I don't care any longer when others cringe from me when they see my skin.
I don't care any longer about the well meant advise given by those who don't understand.
I don't care any longer who decides not to be a friend any longer jsut because I can't do what they can.
I don't care any longer why this was given to me. I just what I can when I can and thank everyday for the breath I take.
I don't care any longer for the unnessisary pity.
I simply don't care!
But I do care for the ones I love.
I do care for friends that are there when I need then to catch me when I fall. Just as I am there to catch them.
I do care for family who understands and loves me as I love them no matter what.
I do care to take each day as it were my last and make of it the best that I can.
These are the things I care about.
What do you care about?
What don't you care about?


You said what so many of us feel. What a beautiful way to express it. You are a great writer. Keep sharing, I'm glad you thought why not
Patty


ok ladies and gents I am in a silly mood tonight so lets see if I can do something silly instead of depressing)
Waiting for the day to arrive is driving me insane. Impatient and unsettled I start to pace.. Looking back and forth between the clock and the calander. When will it be time? Time to get away and leave it all behind! Bouncing in my seat unable to stay still waiting for the time to pass. I think, this is going to kill me, all this waiting!
The day has finally arrived. YAY!! I can go. Bouncing down the sidewalk as I go. Wierd looks, strange glares follow me to my car. To the airport I finally make it. Still bouncing down the concourse with the same stares and glares.
No matter. I am on my way. Off into the wild blue yonder to another place another time. Sunshine greets me as I step from my flight. A new day has begun. Steppign light I make my way. A new destination, new faces and places bouncing as I go.
How time had flown on my little vactation. Everyone around me now bounces with thier steps. Everyone smiles and greets with a bit of sillyness that had been spread around. Boing! Boing! Boing! Enjoying the sight, enjoying the sound. Be happy everyone for I have come to town!


as I told you lastnight, I like this one too...
it's upbeat and happy...and we sure could use that around here sometimes!!! LOL....you go, girl!!!
:D
Abby


Thanks Abby.. Like I said. I am going to start doing this every night if I am able to as a sort of therapy. So far it helps to keep me from going bonkers.


Thanks Abby.. Like I said. I am going to start doing this every night if I am able to as a sort of therapy. So far it helps to keep me from going bonkers.
Good!! Save the bonkers for Boston, so we can go together! :D


Tonight I sit and cry because I had to say goodbye. I don't want to but I know I must, at least for now. So many new faces, new friends. I don't want to leave, but for now I must. Back to reality, back to my world. I know I will see you again my friend, until we meet again.
Saying goodbye is the hardest thing I had to do. Whatever shape or form I am next I will come to say Hi again. Yes I know only to say goodbye agian. But I will be back because I can not stay away. From the friendships that I have made that will last beyond. I will come back to say hi to only say goodbye again so I at least can be comfortable agian and be myself around you.
It is not really goodbye or so long. It is until we meet again my friend. So I wish you well and happy. Until we meet again!
(I know i haven't written in awhile been to preoccupied with outer distractions. I will try to write more often though. And not going anywhere.. staying right here with the NPF.. I was jsut thinking about saying goodbye to the 2005 conference..*sniffles*.. I still miss everyone)
hi cricketgurl,
some thing happened last night. 2 times i was postting that i was leaving and both time's the power went out because of the storms. wired. it make's me think
have a good night all
richard


rich you can't leave. i believe you were being told something you better listen to that powerful being. to many people need you here. your such a suport to alot of people.
night :)


cricketgurl----- hi i don't believe we have met. your poetry is great. i love reading peoples feelings. I just wanted to say hi. and tell ya keep writing.
hope to see ya around.


hi angela,
i will miss you. but i can't deal with it no more. i can't
love you all