Question:
Just needed to say that. I went to a party where I knew there was going to be lots of people I've never met. Never once considered wearing long sleeves to cover the psorisis on my arms. (It's hot as hell and there's no reason torture myself on the account of strangers.) Didn't have a single Psoriasis related akward situation. Even saved a bottle of wine from a broken cork as crowd of people watched entranced with the drama. (The backs of my hands are cover in psoriasis also.) Two girls I didn't know told me I was cute, and the only conversation I had about psoriasis was initated by me. When I got home, the skin around my ankles was cracked and bleeding and I was stuck to my socks. But, you know what? I didn't care. As I drove home I almost forgot I had psoriasis.
Last year would have been different. Last year I would have just not gone to the party. And if I did I would have worn a jacket and stuck with people that I already knew. The difference between last year and this year? The conference. Going to the conference I finally had proof that I wasn't the only one that had this. Even though I knew people had it, I somehow though they must have it different then me. Also being able to see other people with psoriasis made me realize it really as bad as I imagined it looked. I always watch peoples eyes anyways so the P didn't matter. After the conference I decided that I would just bite the bullet and stop hiding.
Since then I've discovered, for me anyways, that the Psoriasis is only as big as I make it. And the opinions of the people that are bothered by it are opinions that I shouldn't concern myself with. I guess fear and akwardness and shame are contageous, or maybe I'm just avoiding the problem and putting my head in the sand. But it's awful cool down here and I don't have to see what I don't want to. I'm sure there were some people that were grossed out by my psoriasis at the party. And last year I would have noticed them all because I would have spent all my time looking for them. And I'd play them all back in my mind later, over and over again. But why do I need to care?
The only difference between last year and this year was how I decided to handle it. I still look the same, and I'm essentially the same person. I just decided to see everything in a different perspective and to just take life as it is and not despair about it.
Yes, talk is cheap and I'm probably being naive. If I read this last year, I'd probably punch myself in the face. (free punch for anyone annoyed by me if you go to the conference.) But for me it was as easy as deciding not to let it bother me. Yes it still hurts. Yes it's still expensive. Yes I still look like I was set on fire. Yes all the non-psoriasis parts of my life that suck still suck. Yes I still leave a trail of skin flakes wherever I go like I need a way to find a way home. And yes, I'm still essentially as alone as I was last year. But I just choose to be happy. And I had a good day.
Now I need to stop before this euphoria wears off and I start weeping again. I hope everyone else has a good day too. If I saw a falling star, or had a genie that wasn't one of those jerk genies that makes every wish horrible, I'd wish everyone a happy weekend too.
Just needed to say that. I went to a party where I knew there was going to be lots of people I've never met. Never once considered wearing long sleeves to cover the psorisis on my arms. (It's hot as hell and there's no reason torture myself on the account of strangers.) Didn't have a single Psoriasis related akward situation. Even saved a bottle of wine from a broken cork as crowd of people watched entranced with the drama. (The backs of my hands are cover in psoriasis also.) Two girls I didn't know told me I was cute, and the only conversation I had about psoriasis was initated by me. When I got home, the skin around my ankles was cracked and bleeding and I was stuck to my socks. But, you know what? I didn't care. As I drove home I almost forgot I had psoriasis.
Last year would have been different. Last year I would have just not gone to the party. And if I did I would have worn a jacket and stuck with people that I already knew. The difference between last year and this year? The conference. Going to the conference I finally had proof that I wasn't the only one that had this. Even though I knew people had it, I somehow though they must have it different then me. Also being able to see other people with psoriasis made me realize it really as bad as I imagined it looked. I always watch peoples eyes anyways so the P didn't matter. After the conference I decided that I would just bite the bullet and stop hiding.
Since then I've discovered, for me anyways, that the Psoriasis is only as big as I make it. And the opinions of the people that are bothered by it are opinions that I shouldn't concern myself with. I guess fear and akwardness and shame are contageous, or maybe I'm just avoiding the problem and putting my head in the sand. But it's awful cool down here and I don't have to see what I don't want to. I'm sure there were some people that were grossed out by my psoriasis at the party. And last year I would have noticed them all because I would have spent all my time looking for them. And I'd play them all back in my mind later, over and over again. But why do I need to care?
The only difference between last year and this year was how I decided to handle it. I still look the same, and I'm essentially the same person. I just decided to see everything in a different perspective and to just take life as it is and not despair about it.
Yes, talk is cheap and I'm probably being naive. If I read this last year, I'd probably punch myself in the face. (free punch for anyone annoyed by me if you go to the conference.) But for me it was as easy as deciding not to let it bother me. Yes it still hurts. Yes it's still expensive. Yes I still look like I was set on fire. Yes all the non-psoriasis parts of my life that suck still suck. Yes I still leave a trail of skin flakes wherever I go like I need a way to find a way home. And yes, I'm still essentially as alone as I was last year. But I just choose to be happy. And I had a good day.
Now I need to stop before this euphoria wears off and I start weeping again. I hope everyone else has a good day too. If I saw a falling star, or had a genie that wasn't one of those jerk genies that makes every wish horrible, I'd wish everyone a happy weekend too.
Way to go Kisu! You have a winners attitude!
Kisu, im so proud of you!!!! Does this mean kidnapping you last year was a good thing?? I remember seeing you that friday night, i called you over because you were around my age and i kept seeing you walk around by yourself. Little did i know you were the infamous screamatorium ;)
I cant wait to see you in a few weeks in Boston, and sorry babes, you're being kidnapped by me again. Dont fight the feeling and just come with me :)
Whoa, that sounded dirty, ahahahaa!!!
I had a similar experience to Kisu's... Last year, if you told me i would be doing all the things i've done so far and have the thoughts, ideas and views i have now, i would've told you, you're crazy!!!! i would've been annoyed because my P once again is the "center" of my life. Now it's invovled ith so much of my life, but its a GOOD THING!!! im more open and love talking about it with people.
This week and weekend have been very hard for me, as will the weeks and weekends to come. I totaly need to be surrounded by you great people right now. i need to take my mind off of other things.
Kisu,
I was so happy to read this! You're a great guy, and a hunk !! One of those girls is going to be lucky to grab you (if Bren doesn't beat them to it...hehe). Keep up those positive thoughts. Can't wait to see you again in Boston. :)
hi kisu,
i look up to the attitude that you have. it's a great on. i wish you the best and thank you for sharing that.
have a good day all
richard
You are wonderful. Rock on.
Scream, NOW Why did ya have to go and make me cry it is 9 30 in the morning and the kids are wondering why mommy has tears. Cause i am so happy for you that is why. Praise god. You are exactly right. And your attitude dude blew me away. Keep up the great thoughts my friend.
all my love,
1 Attachment(s) Thanks for the great replies! Now I'm having two good days! And I'm definitely not a hunk. Here's a picture of me:
That is so refreshing to read. You are awesome!
mari
Last year would have been different. Last year I would have just not gone to the party. And if I did I would have worn a jacket and stuck with people that I already knew. The difference between last year and this year? The conference. Going to the conference I finally had proof that I wasn't the only one that had this. Even though I knew people had it, I somehow though they must have it different then me. Also being able to see other people with psoriasis made me realize it really as bad as I imagined it looked. I always watch peoples eyes anyways so the P didn't matter. After the conference I decided that I would just bite the bullet and stop hiding.
Since then I've discovered, for me anyways, that the Psoriasis is only as big as I make it. And the opinions of the people that are bothered by it are opinions that I shouldn't concern myself with. I guess fear and akwardness and shame are contageous, or maybe I'm just avoiding the problem and putting my head in the sand. But it's awful cool down here and I don't have to see what I don't want to. I'm sure there were some people that were grossed out by my psoriasis at the party. And last year I would have noticed them all because I would have spent all my time looking for them. And I'd play them all back in my mind later, over and over again. But why do I need to care?
The only difference between last year and this year was how I decided to handle it. I still look the same, and I'm essentially the same person. I just decided to see everything in a different perspective and to just take life as it is and not despair about it.
Yes, talk is cheap and I'm probably being naive. If I read this last year, I'd probably punch myself in the face. (free punch for anyone annoyed by me if you go to the conference.) But for me it was as easy as deciding not to let it bother me. Yes it still hurts. Yes it's still expensive. Yes I still look like I was set on fire. Yes all the non-psoriasis parts of my life that suck still suck. Yes I still leave a trail of skin flakes wherever I go like I need a way to find a way home. And yes, I'm still essentially as alone as I was last year. But I just choose to be happy. And I had a good day.
Now I need to stop before this euphoria wears off and I start weeping again. I hope everyone else has a good day too. If I saw a falling star, or had a genie that wasn't one of those jerk genies that makes every wish horrible, I'd wish everyone a happy weekend too.
Answers:
Just needed to say that. I went to a party where I knew there was going to be lots of people I've never met. Never once considered wearing long sleeves to cover the psorisis on my arms. (It's hot as hell and there's no reason torture myself on the account of strangers.) Didn't have a single Psoriasis related akward situation. Even saved a bottle of wine from a broken cork as crowd of people watched entranced with the drama. (The backs of my hands are cover in psoriasis also.) Two girls I didn't know told me I was cute, and the only conversation I had about psoriasis was initated by me. When I got home, the skin around my ankles was cracked and bleeding and I was stuck to my socks. But, you know what? I didn't care. As I drove home I almost forgot I had psoriasis.
Last year would have been different. Last year I would have just not gone to the party. And if I did I would have worn a jacket and stuck with people that I already knew. The difference between last year and this year? The conference. Going to the conference I finally had proof that I wasn't the only one that had this. Even though I knew people had it, I somehow though they must have it different then me. Also being able to see other people with psoriasis made me realize it really as bad as I imagined it looked. I always watch peoples eyes anyways so the P didn't matter. After the conference I decided that I would just bite the bullet and stop hiding.
Since then I've discovered, for me anyways, that the Psoriasis is only as big as I make it. And the opinions of the people that are bothered by it are opinions that I shouldn't concern myself with. I guess fear and akwardness and shame are contageous, or maybe I'm just avoiding the problem and putting my head in the sand. But it's awful cool down here and I don't have to see what I don't want to. I'm sure there were some people that were grossed out by my psoriasis at the party. And last year I would have noticed them all because I would have spent all my time looking for them. And I'd play them all back in my mind later, over and over again. But why do I need to care?
The only difference between last year and this year was how I decided to handle it. I still look the same, and I'm essentially the same person. I just decided to see everything in a different perspective and to just take life as it is and not despair about it.
Yes, talk is cheap and I'm probably being naive. If I read this last year, I'd probably punch myself in the face. (free punch for anyone annoyed by me if you go to the conference.) But for me it was as easy as deciding not to let it bother me. Yes it still hurts. Yes it's still expensive. Yes I still look like I was set on fire. Yes all the non-psoriasis parts of my life that suck still suck. Yes I still leave a trail of skin flakes wherever I go like I need a way to find a way home. And yes, I'm still essentially as alone as I was last year. But I just choose to be happy. And I had a good day.
Now I need to stop before this euphoria wears off and I start weeping again. I hope everyone else has a good day too. If I saw a falling star, or had a genie that wasn't one of those jerk genies that makes every wish horrible, I'd wish everyone a happy weekend too.
Way to go Kisu! You have a winners attitude!
Answers:
Kisu, im so proud of you!!!! Does this mean kidnapping you last year was a good thing?? I remember seeing you that friday night, i called you over because you were around my age and i kept seeing you walk around by yourself. Little did i know you were the infamous screamatorium ;)
I cant wait to see you in a few weeks in Boston, and sorry babes, you're being kidnapped by me again. Dont fight the feeling and just come with me :)
Whoa, that sounded dirty, ahahahaa!!!
I had a similar experience to Kisu's... Last year, if you told me i would be doing all the things i've done so far and have the thoughts, ideas and views i have now, i would've told you, you're crazy!!!! i would've been annoyed because my P once again is the "center" of my life. Now it's invovled ith so much of my life, but its a GOOD THING!!! im more open and love talking about it with people.
This week and weekend have been very hard for me, as will the weeks and weekends to come. I totaly need to be surrounded by you great people right now. i need to take my mind off of other things.
Answers:
Kisu,
I was so happy to read this! You're a great guy, and a hunk !! One of those girls is going to be lucky to grab you (if Bren doesn't beat them to it...hehe). Keep up those positive thoughts. Can't wait to see you again in Boston. :)
Answers:
hi kisu,
i look up to the attitude that you have. it's a great on. i wish you the best and thank you for sharing that.
have a good day all
richard
Answers:
You are wonderful. Rock on.
Answers:
Scream, NOW Why did ya have to go and make me cry it is 9 30 in the morning and the kids are wondering why mommy has tears. Cause i am so happy for you that is why. Praise god. You are exactly right. And your attitude dude blew me away. Keep up the great thoughts my friend.
all my love,
Answers:
1 Attachment(s) Thanks for the great replies! Now I'm having two good days! And I'm definitely not a hunk. Here's a picture of me:
Answers:
That is so refreshing to read. You are awesome!
mari
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