Question:
I'm feeling really sad and depressed tonight. I don't have anyone to talk to but you all here. I feel like I'm going crazy. My p is not doing really good right now and I can't seem to get it better. I know I need to go to the doctor but I just don't have the $25 to go. I'm probably about 40% covered all over. I just don't feel like doing anything lately. My house is a mess. I can't find the energy to do anything about it. My boyfriend bitches about it all the time. Do you think he helps do anything around here? No, he doesn't. Everything is left up to me. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. In another thread I talked about how my boyfriend has turned into an alcoholic. Well, he has cut back on that some. Now, he drives me crazy when he is inside the house. When he drinks he does it outside in his shop. I really think that maybe I really don't want to stay with him. I don't think he will ever stop drinking. I'm to the point that I hope that he stays outside drinking because then I don't have to deal with him. I feel so alone right now. Why do I always get myself into these situations with guys and find it so hard to walk away? I've been with him for over 14 years. He is not the same person anymore. I guess I'm not either. I know people change but he changed for the worst not better. I want so much more for my girls. I don't want my girls to think that this is how a relationship is supposed to be. I gotta go for now. I'm going to start crying and I don't want my girls to see me. I don't need to upset them.
Polly
you need to get out of that situation, its not healthy and good luck with your P
hi polly,
how are you doing today. im not good at given wonderful advise like some. i can't even give it to my self. i wish you the best my friend and hope things work out for you and your girls
try and have a good day
richard
Oh Polly, I'm so sorry I didn't see this until today. I know sometimes all the crap is just so damned tiring and upsetting. I hear you loud and clear. 14 years is a long time. Lot's of history there, but still very hard to see someone you love unhappy and addicted. I hope you can get back to love and some common ground. Perhaps some time apart would do you good. You have your girls to think about. Please know that I am thinking of you. You are not alone. We're all here.
Hang tight, sweets.
Krista
My heart just sank reading your post.....I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now with your boyfriend and let alone your p getting bad....it is so amazing how we all come together on these boards because of our p and we all stick together which is so enlightening.....but when other things come into play as far as commonality....it makes us want to reach out and really hope and pray that things will get better....
I spent almost 10 years of my life married to an alcoholic. I fell in love with a man that was everything to me...same thoughts, same ideals, adventures, he was ideal to me. His drinking was a part of it in the beginning as well, but I still thought I would be able to deal with it. As the years went by, it got worse but there were still so many things that I loved about this man...I created a subconscious "list" of all the things I LOVED about this man and it still outweighed the things I didn't like about this man. As each year went by, as each night he'd come home from work and I wasn't sure if he'd come home alive (he would drink after work and drive home....scary), I would be on layovers across the country and he would call the hotel drunk and incoherent...he called once from a phone booth bleeding at the side of the road because he just ran into a pole because he was drunk, the police came and arrested him...I was on a layover all the way in New York and couldn't do anything about it until I flew home the next day (pretending that nothing was wrong...that was the problem...I always took care of it and never told anyone). I had to bail him out of jail straight from the airport still in my uniform....I was devasted. But it just didn't stop....this was just one of the many instances that popped up througout the years...then one day my "list" was empty on the good side....I now hated my husband....the best thing he did for me was to leave me...is was incredibly hard to get through the days that followed but I knew that in time, it would get better....I had no children with him, and I am thankful for that now. You do have to also think of the welfare of your children...as young as they may or may not be, they are wise and see things that we as adults may not even see or understand, and they remember. I so wish you the best through these trying days ahead of you Polly. Please feel free to pm me if you'd like...I as well as everyone else here on the boards are here for you.....we truly are.... :o
Abby
Polly, Can you support yourself? 14 years is a long time, but you have got to think about the rest of your life. Ask yourself the old Ann Landers question "Are you better off, with him or without him?" You don't mention if he's the father of your girls, but remember, that what they grow up with they will consider as normal. With the stress your under no wonder the P is so bad. I'm sorry you are having such a bad time, I wish I could help. Just know that the people on this site care for you. Linda
´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´o¶¶¶¢´1¢¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´¢¶¶7´´´´´´´´$¢
´¶¶ø1´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶
7o´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶
¶1´´´´´´´o´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´1´´´¶´
´¶¶¶¶´´´´$¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´1¶$øø¶ø´
´´´´oø´´´´´¶$o11øøø¢7¶¶¶¢´´´´´7¶¶
´´´´´7¶´´´´´´171´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶
´´´´´´´¶¶7´´´´´´´´´¶1´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´$¶
´´´´´´´´´1ø$ø´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´1o¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´1¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´¶¶$´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´¢
´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶$¶ GET BETTER
´´´´´´´´´´$´´´´´´7¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶´¶¶¶¶o¶
´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶$´7¶´oooø
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´oø$´´´7¶¶$
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶´´´´´1´1´´´´´¶¶
´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´7¶¶
´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶7¢¶¶´¶o´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶1´¶
´´´´´´´´$¶¶¶¶´¶$´´´´´´$¶¶¶
Hi ,
just a thought
like said above , you need to get out of that situation , starting with yourself.
you don't need to leave him . but , at least not confront him .
if you can't take care of psoriasis , which will not leave us . at least you need to get up , find energy , and take care of your house , your girls . find peace .
that way , you will see things clear . you will feel confortable and proud of where you live. and won't give excuses to him to complain , or excuses for you to fee bad .
second , you need to take care of your skin , so you find more motivation and more confidence.
my skin also looks bad . but , i'm off steroids for 6 months .
i'm using vaseline (or plain petroleom jelly) during the day .
and at night . i use Denorex coal tar cream (evening) for the skin .. it costs only $ 7 dollars at cvs pharmacy ... .
i don't know your psoriasis type , or if you will respond well to these creams . because they are cheap , you could try it .
hope you feel better
:)
Dear Polly,
I am sorry things aren't at a good place for you and your girls right now. Please know we are all here for you when you need to vent. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make YOURSELF AND YOUR GIRLS your #1 priority. I know it's really difficult but you CAN do it! I don't know lots of things, but I do know alcohol :(
I won't tell you to leave or drastically alter your current life. 14 years IS a long time, married or not and I am sure with kids it's a major financial concern for you. That said, if I could give you one good piece of advice, it would be to pull out your local telephone book. Find the nearest "alanon" meeting and GO THERE BY YOURSELF! I believe it's usually listed under AA. Don't even tell your boyfriend you are going - just do it for YOURSELF! It may not change your situation, but I promise (if you give it a fair try, ignore the fact that you will probably think it is silly at first and stick with it), it will definitely change the way YOU react to this situation and others. We know you can't change him, but you do have the power to change YOURSELF.
I don't mean to "preach" and if it sounded that way, please forgive. I just want you to know my heart goes out to you. I know you have a tough road ahead, but just look back and honestly tell yourself just how tough THAT road has been. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Take baby steps!
Big (((hugs))) to you and your girls.....
Nancy
hi polly,
i hope you doing alot better. i wish you the best my friend
i hope your have a good day my friend
richard
Thanks everyone for caring so much.
Yes, he is both of my girls father. Yes, I can support myself and the girls if need be. I'm already paying most of the bills. I had been paying all the bills for the past 5 years. So that would not be a problem. I am a very independant person. As far as whether I should stay with him or not, I just don't know yet. I'll figure that out in time.
I am feeling a little better today. Not as depressed. I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying though. I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out.
The other night when I wrote that I don't know why I was feeling that way. I was fine earlier in the day. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to lose it. It was really scary. I had no one else to turn to. I'm just glad I have all of you here.
Polly
Polly
Answers:
you need to get out of that situation, its not healthy and good luck with your P
Answers:
hi polly,
how are you doing today. im not good at given wonderful advise like some. i can't even give it to my self. i wish you the best my friend and hope things work out for you and your girls
try and have a good day
richard
Answers:
Oh Polly, I'm so sorry I didn't see this until today. I know sometimes all the crap is just so damned tiring and upsetting. I hear you loud and clear. 14 years is a long time. Lot's of history there, but still very hard to see someone you love unhappy and addicted. I hope you can get back to love and some common ground. Perhaps some time apart would do you good. You have your girls to think about. Please know that I am thinking of you. You are not alone. We're all here.
Hang tight, sweets.
Krista
Answers:
My heart just sank reading your post.....I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now with your boyfriend and let alone your p getting bad....it is so amazing how we all come together on these boards because of our p and we all stick together which is so enlightening.....but when other things come into play as far as commonality....it makes us want to reach out and really hope and pray that things will get better....
I spent almost 10 years of my life married to an alcoholic. I fell in love with a man that was everything to me...same thoughts, same ideals, adventures, he was ideal to me. His drinking was a part of it in the beginning as well, but I still thought I would be able to deal with it. As the years went by, it got worse but there were still so many things that I loved about this man...I created a subconscious "list" of all the things I LOVED about this man and it still outweighed the things I didn't like about this man. As each year went by, as each night he'd come home from work and I wasn't sure if he'd come home alive (he would drink after work and drive home....scary), I would be on layovers across the country and he would call the hotel drunk and incoherent...he called once from a phone booth bleeding at the side of the road because he just ran into a pole because he was drunk, the police came and arrested him...I was on a layover all the way in New York and couldn't do anything about it until I flew home the next day (pretending that nothing was wrong...that was the problem...I always took care of it and never told anyone). I had to bail him out of jail straight from the airport still in my uniform....I was devasted. But it just didn't stop....this was just one of the many instances that popped up througout the years...then one day my "list" was empty on the good side....I now hated my husband....the best thing he did for me was to leave me...is was incredibly hard to get through the days that followed but I knew that in time, it would get better....I had no children with him, and I am thankful for that now. You do have to also think of the welfare of your children...as young as they may or may not be, they are wise and see things that we as adults may not even see or understand, and they remember. I so wish you the best through these trying days ahead of you Polly. Please feel free to pm me if you'd like...I as well as everyone else here on the boards are here for you.....we truly are.... :o
Abby
Answers:
Polly, Can you support yourself? 14 years is a long time, but you have got to think about the rest of your life. Ask yourself the old Ann Landers question "Are you better off, with him or without him?" You don't mention if he's the father of your girls, but remember, that what they grow up with they will consider as normal. With the stress your under no wonder the P is so bad. I'm sorry you are having such a bad time, I wish I could help. Just know that the people on this site care for you. Linda
Answers:
´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´o¶¶¶¢´1¢¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´¶
´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´¢¶¶7´´´´´´´´$¢
´¶¶ø1´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶
7o´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶
¶1´´´´´´´o´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´1´´´¶´
´¶¶¶¶´´´´$¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´1¶$øø¶ø´
´´´´oø´´´´´¶$o11øøø¢7¶¶¶¢´´´´´7¶¶
´´´´´7¶´´´´´´171´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶
´´´´´´´¶¶7´´´´´´´´´¶1´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´$¶
´´´´´´´´´1ø$ø´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´1o¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´1¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´¶¶$´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´¢
´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶´¶
´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶$¶ GET BETTER
´´´´´´´´´´$´´´´´´7¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶´¶¶¶¶o¶
´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶$´7¶´oooø
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´oø$´´´7¶¶$
´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶´´´´´1´1´´´´´¶¶
´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´7¶¶
´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶7¢¶¶´¶o´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶1´¶
´´´´´´´´$¶¶¶¶´¶$´´´´´´$¶¶¶
Answers:
Hi ,
just a thought
like said above , you need to get out of that situation , starting with yourself.
you don't need to leave him . but , at least not confront him .
if you can't take care of psoriasis , which will not leave us . at least you need to get up , find energy , and take care of your house , your girls . find peace .
that way , you will see things clear . you will feel confortable and proud of where you live. and won't give excuses to him to complain , or excuses for you to fee bad .
second , you need to take care of your skin , so you find more motivation and more confidence.
my skin also looks bad . but , i'm off steroids for 6 months .
i'm using vaseline (or plain petroleom jelly) during the day .
and at night . i use Denorex coal tar cream (evening) for the skin .. it costs only $ 7 dollars at cvs pharmacy ... .
i don't know your psoriasis type , or if you will respond well to these creams . because they are cheap , you could try it .
hope you feel better
:)
Answers:
Dear Polly,
I am sorry things aren't at a good place for you and your girls right now. Please know we are all here for you when you need to vent. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make YOURSELF AND YOUR GIRLS your #1 priority. I know it's really difficult but you CAN do it! I don't know lots of things, but I do know alcohol :(
I won't tell you to leave or drastically alter your current life. 14 years IS a long time, married or not and I am sure with kids it's a major financial concern for you. That said, if I could give you one good piece of advice, it would be to pull out your local telephone book. Find the nearest "alanon" meeting and GO THERE BY YOURSELF! I believe it's usually listed under AA. Don't even tell your boyfriend you are going - just do it for YOURSELF! It may not change your situation, but I promise (if you give it a fair try, ignore the fact that you will probably think it is silly at first and stick with it), it will definitely change the way YOU react to this situation and others. We know you can't change him, but you do have the power to change YOURSELF.
I don't mean to "preach" and if it sounded that way, please forgive. I just want you to know my heart goes out to you. I know you have a tough road ahead, but just look back and honestly tell yourself just how tough THAT road has been. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Take baby steps!
Big (((hugs))) to you and your girls.....
Nancy
Answers:
hi polly,
i hope you doing alot better. i wish you the best my friend
i hope your have a good day my friend
richard
Answers:
Thanks everyone for caring so much.
Yes, he is both of my girls father. Yes, I can support myself and the girls if need be. I'm already paying most of the bills. I had been paying all the bills for the past 5 years. So that would not be a problem. I am a very independant person. As far as whether I should stay with him or not, I just don't know yet. I'll figure that out in time.
I am feeling a little better today. Not as depressed. I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying though. I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut and can't get out.
The other night when I wrote that I don't know why I was feeling that way. I was fine earlier in the day. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to lose it. It was really scary. I had no one else to turn to. I'm just glad I have all of you here.
Polly
1 2