Question:
Yesterday I took a booking for a male client who was wanting a 'therapeutic massage'. No problem. However, during the consultation I ascertained he has had previous massages, and when I enquired where he had them,he said 'massage parlours'. Now the question being is, should I have stopped the consultation there and then and advise him explicitly that I do not provide that kind of 'service' or should I have continued, and carry out the 'therapeutic back massage' he requested???
Well, I opted to (rightly or wrongly) ignore his previous 'massage' experiences and explained that I would carry out a therapeuticback massage.He agreed, so no problem again. Until that is, during the massage he requested that he wanted to turn over onto his back!?! I said to him that it was not necessary and continued, reluctantly with the massage [:'(] I couldn't wait for him to leave, leaving me drained emotionally and physically.
I have re run this over and over again and am angry with myself, as I should have dealt with this differently. Kicking his sorry butt out of the practice would have been one suggestion [:@]
What if I find myself in that scenario again or how should I have dealt with it. This is the first and hopefully the last time I'll have to deal with someone like this.
Any advice appreciated, thanks.
BubbleHead x
when you take the next booking, you could ask then what previous massage experience the person has had.
that will give you a chance to do some weeding out
tigress
Hi Tigress, thanks for the swift reply.
At the time I asked him if he had any particular condition that he requiredmassage for. He went onto explainto methat he has regular massages for shoulder tension (?)but on this occasion he wanted just a general therapeutic massage, as his 'massage therapist' wasn't available. So there really was no reason to suggest anything untoward overthe phone.
Bubblehead
maybe another time, when booking, if someone says that, you could ask where the massage therapist is based/what salon etc
tigress
Hi Bubblehead,
Not withstanding Tigress's comments for weeding out, may I add to this?!
You say that You are angry at Yourself.
Depending upon where You are at with Your Spiritual Growth and Awareness, You may or not know that blame is useless, futile, and misses the opportunity to learn.
So, no need to blame the geeza or Yourself.
At Soul Level we are all helping One Another because we all Love One Another and so how was he helping You?
Maybe simply to bring-up the emotion of anger within You, so that You could own it and deal with it.
There is one antidote to anger and one alone.....
This is forgiveness.
Forgive the geeza, and forgive Yourself, and then see what comes to Light.
Certainly You shall feel stonger for doing so anyway, for Love is more powerful than fear, especially the "dispensible front line troops of anger".
Hope this helps and that You get the matter sorted.
With Angel Love and Blessings,
David x
Hi BubbleHead[/align][/align]It is up to you to explain to everyone what it is you do during the consultation and then ask for questions, this is the time to sort out any underlying problems and show them the door if they do not accept what you have told them.[/align][/align]You must stay in control at all times, if that means you stopping the treatment short then please do so, most people are happy once you have explained that you are a health therapist, and no I don't do that sort of thing etc. Set the ground rules and stick to them. :-)[/align]
Sorry to hear that happen to you. It shows that you are a nice person and gave him th ebenefit of the doubt that you contiued but next time you should probably say something.
Man, whats wrong with people thinking a therpeutic massage is a sex act.
Angel boy, what you smokin'?
Sweetie, as upsetting as it is, this is just part of the learning curve. Some therapists find it very helpful to have a blurb on their intake forms stating something to the effect that "this massage is for therapeutic purposes only. Sexual comments, suggestions, or requests will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate end to the session, with payment due in full." Then there's a space below for the client to sign, indicataing they have read and understand your policies. There is NO way anyone, no matter how thick, can misunderstand this, and it takes you out of the uncomfortable positon of actually having to say it aloud (whichrisks insulting a perfectly good client with only proper intentions).
All therapists get one or two of these folks over the years, no matter how carefully we screen. For me, the very phrase "massage parlor" would have been a red flag. Now you know how you will handle this better next time, if there is a next time. Yes, it's insulting when it happens, but what works for me (to diffuse the anger, which does you no good) is to realize how very pitiful they are that they have to try to get their needs metin such a pathetic manner.
Hiya
After reading all the replies, I can see so much good advice however I like Practicemetta's reply the most.
It is always a dodgy situation when taking calls from gents as some men think that all massage therapists go down that 'extras' road. I have most often filtered those types if I suspect anything or feel unsure by using what the 'Latter Day Saints' say (although I have tweaked it a bit) They never come into a persons home unless by two's and only if the partner is in the house also.....so I say to these gents ' I'd be happy to massage you but I do need another female present ie your wife, girlfriend, sister as I do not like to give others the wrong impression..... They don't have to be in the same room just accompany you!' Any understanding gent gets the message loud and clear and either books or not!!
Funny enough I have had several gents book this way with no probelms what so ever.
In time you will get a trained ear for these types of calls and beable to use whatever reason not to book. Don't let these types of calls put you off though as there are so many more people that will be genuine and in REAL need of your helpful talents.
Some reasons I have used .........
Never book for clients in hotels. Most hotels have there own spa anyway so why ask me?
I'm fully booked for the next four weeks - genuine problems can sometimes wait.
or be straight with them.
As said earlier though if you come across this in the middle of the treatment just be prepared to stop the treatment at the point you know your client is not genuine. Its up to you whether you charge or not at that point. Some do for their time and some dont as they feel they could be accused of accepting money for services rendered....NOT!
I have also now changed my title to 'Holistic Practioner' which has filtered a lot out too as unfortunately the local papers are full of the other type of massges which get linked to our genuine theraputic massage!
When I first started all the lads in my local used to tease me and asked did I do extras so I replied 'Yeah with my mallet I carry around....it generally hits the spot!" OUCH!We all laughed but they respected me more for it AND I did get loads of genuine bookings after that....bonus!!
Hope this helps
"When I first started all the lads in my local used to tease me and asked did I do extras so I replied 'Yeah with my mallet I carry around....it generally hits the spot!" OUCH!We all laughed but they respected me more for it AND I did get loads of genuine bookings after that....bonus!! "
LMAO :Dgood one!
Thankyou so much for allthe good advice...Live & Learn I suppose, so at least good has come from bad! :eek:
I've taken & noted some goodadvice from all of your replies& will be implementing a couple of the suggestions[sm=angel-smiley-027.gif]
But Angelboy, being a Psychology graduate I have a full& comprehensive understandingof anger.I am aware of the purposemy anger served and I have drawn positives from this experience. This in itself has enriched me; I gave somebody the benefit of my doubt, against my better judgement, and they in return took a distinctadvantage. This in itself left me feeling vulnerable and intimidated. Remember, anger is an innate human emotion. It can bea positive and constructive aid to survival; if it ischannelled carefully, this emotioncan help ustoassert ourrights; bringing with itan energy in changingour lives.[sm=newangel.gif]
Bh x
Hi Bubblehead,
There is no need to get defensive.
Even psychology students are governed by Spiritual Law.
The law I would suggest You consider is "like attracts like" - The Law of Attraction.
Furthermore, Love, which would include forgiveness, is more powerful than fear, which would include anger.
When One has Forgiveness in One's heart then by The Law of Attraction there is no way that anger can be either attracted, felt, or need to be utilised.
Yes, certainly it can be a useful tool in One's development, but once the lesson of anger is learned, without blame for the self or another, then it can be released. But only through forgiveness.
Does this resonate with You Bubblehead? Maybe I could explain in other terms if not.
May Peace Be With You.
God Bless,
David x
Furthermore,
something that would certainly help You too (You were seeking advice were You not?)........
Your last post included the term, albeit over two paragraph's, "yes but".
If You have a copy of Hands of Light by Barbara Ann Brennan (great book!), or if You can get to a book store, check out page circa. 113. You will find an interesting table that includes "mask statements" and for one of the "structures" You will also find "yes but".
I could tell You lots about this but feel that it would be more appropriate for You to find out Yourself in Your own time.
In any event I bid You a day filled with Love, Laughter and Happiness.
Much Love,
David x
Well, I opted to (rightly or wrongly) ignore his previous 'massage' experiences and explained that I would carry out a therapeuticback massage.He agreed, so no problem again. Until that is, during the massage he requested that he wanted to turn over onto his back!?! I said to him that it was not necessary and continued, reluctantly with the massage [:'(] I couldn't wait for him to leave, leaving me drained emotionally and physically.
I have re run this over and over again and am angry with myself, as I should have dealt with this differently. Kicking his sorry butt out of the practice would have been one suggestion [:@]
What if I find myself in that scenario again or how should I have dealt with it. This is the first and hopefully the last time I'll have to deal with someone like this.
Any advice appreciated, thanks.
BubbleHead x
Answers:
when you take the next booking, you could ask then what previous massage experience the person has had.
that will give you a chance to do some weeding out
tigress
Answers:
Hi Tigress, thanks for the swift reply.
At the time I asked him if he had any particular condition that he requiredmassage for. He went onto explainto methat he has regular massages for shoulder tension (?)but on this occasion he wanted just a general therapeutic massage, as his 'massage therapist' wasn't available. So there really was no reason to suggest anything untoward overthe phone.
Bubblehead
Answers:
maybe another time, when booking, if someone says that, you could ask where the massage therapist is based/what salon etc
tigress
Answers:
Hi Bubblehead,
Not withstanding Tigress's comments for weeding out, may I add to this?!
You say that You are angry at Yourself.
Depending upon where You are at with Your Spiritual Growth and Awareness, You may or not know that blame is useless, futile, and misses the opportunity to learn.
So, no need to blame the geeza or Yourself.
At Soul Level we are all helping One Another because we all Love One Another and so how was he helping You?
Maybe simply to bring-up the emotion of anger within You, so that You could own it and deal with it.
There is one antidote to anger and one alone.....
This is forgiveness.
Forgive the geeza, and forgive Yourself, and then see what comes to Light.
Certainly You shall feel stonger for doing so anyway, for Love is more powerful than fear, especially the "dispensible front line troops of anger".
Hope this helps and that You get the matter sorted.
With Angel Love and Blessings,
David x
Answers:
Hi BubbleHead[/align][/align]It is up to you to explain to everyone what it is you do during the consultation and then ask for questions, this is the time to sort out any underlying problems and show them the door if they do not accept what you have told them.[/align][/align]You must stay in control at all times, if that means you stopping the treatment short then please do so, most people are happy once you have explained that you are a health therapist, and no I don't do that sort of thing etc. Set the ground rules and stick to them. :-)[/align]
Answers:
Sorry to hear that happen to you. It shows that you are a nice person and gave him th ebenefit of the doubt that you contiued but next time you should probably say something.
Man, whats wrong with people thinking a therpeutic massage is a sex act.
Angel boy, what you smokin'?
Answers:
Sweetie, as upsetting as it is, this is just part of the learning curve. Some therapists find it very helpful to have a blurb on their intake forms stating something to the effect that "this massage is for therapeutic purposes only. Sexual comments, suggestions, or requests will not be tolerated and will result in an immediate end to the session, with payment due in full." Then there's a space below for the client to sign, indicataing they have read and understand your policies. There is NO way anyone, no matter how thick, can misunderstand this, and it takes you out of the uncomfortable positon of actually having to say it aloud (whichrisks insulting a perfectly good client with only proper intentions).
All therapists get one or two of these folks over the years, no matter how carefully we screen. For me, the very phrase "massage parlor" would have been a red flag. Now you know how you will handle this better next time, if there is a next time. Yes, it's insulting when it happens, but what works for me (to diffuse the anger, which does you no good) is to realize how very pitiful they are that they have to try to get their needs metin such a pathetic manner.
Answers:
Hiya
After reading all the replies, I can see so much good advice however I like Practicemetta's reply the most.
It is always a dodgy situation when taking calls from gents as some men think that all massage therapists go down that 'extras' road. I have most often filtered those types if I suspect anything or feel unsure by using what the 'Latter Day Saints' say (although I have tweaked it a bit) They never come into a persons home unless by two's and only if the partner is in the house also.....so I say to these gents ' I'd be happy to massage you but I do need another female present ie your wife, girlfriend, sister as I do not like to give others the wrong impression..... They don't have to be in the same room just accompany you!' Any understanding gent gets the message loud and clear and either books or not!!
Funny enough I have had several gents book this way with no probelms what so ever.
In time you will get a trained ear for these types of calls and beable to use whatever reason not to book. Don't let these types of calls put you off though as there are so many more people that will be genuine and in REAL need of your helpful talents.
Some reasons I have used .........
Never book for clients in hotels. Most hotels have there own spa anyway so why ask me?
I'm fully booked for the next four weeks - genuine problems can sometimes wait.
or be straight with them.
As said earlier though if you come across this in the middle of the treatment just be prepared to stop the treatment at the point you know your client is not genuine. Its up to you whether you charge or not at that point. Some do for their time and some dont as they feel they could be accused of accepting money for services rendered....NOT!
I have also now changed my title to 'Holistic Practioner' which has filtered a lot out too as unfortunately the local papers are full of the other type of massges which get linked to our genuine theraputic massage!
When I first started all the lads in my local used to tease me and asked did I do extras so I replied 'Yeah with my mallet I carry around....it generally hits the spot!" OUCH!We all laughed but they respected me more for it AND I did get loads of genuine bookings after that....bonus!!
Hope this helps
Answers:
"When I first started all the lads in my local used to tease me and asked did I do extras so I replied 'Yeah with my mallet I carry around....it generally hits the spot!" OUCH!We all laughed but they respected me more for it AND I did get loads of genuine bookings after that....bonus!! "
LMAO :Dgood one!
Answers:
Thankyou so much for allthe good advice...Live & Learn I suppose, so at least good has come from bad! :eek:
I've taken & noted some goodadvice from all of your replies& will be implementing a couple of the suggestions[sm=angel-smiley-027.gif]
But Angelboy, being a Psychology graduate I have a full& comprehensive understandingof anger.I am aware of the purposemy anger served and I have drawn positives from this experience. This in itself has enriched me; I gave somebody the benefit of my doubt, against my better judgement, and they in return took a distinctadvantage. This in itself left me feeling vulnerable and intimidated. Remember, anger is an innate human emotion. It can bea positive and constructive aid to survival; if it ischannelled carefully, this emotioncan help ustoassert ourrights; bringing with itan energy in changingour lives.[sm=newangel.gif]
Bh x
Answers:
Hi Bubblehead,
There is no need to get defensive.
Even psychology students are governed by Spiritual Law.
The law I would suggest You consider is "like attracts like" - The Law of Attraction.
Furthermore, Love, which would include forgiveness, is more powerful than fear, which would include anger.
When One has Forgiveness in One's heart then by The Law of Attraction there is no way that anger can be either attracted, felt, or need to be utilised.
Yes, certainly it can be a useful tool in One's development, but once the lesson of anger is learned, without blame for the self or another, then it can be released. But only through forgiveness.
Does this resonate with You Bubblehead? Maybe I could explain in other terms if not.
May Peace Be With You.
God Bless,
David x
Answers:
Furthermore,
something that would certainly help You too (You were seeking advice were You not?)........
Your last post included the term, albeit over two paragraph's, "yes but".
If You have a copy of Hands of Light by Barbara Ann Brennan (great book!), or if You can get to a book store, check out page circa. 113. You will find an interesting table that includes "mask statements" and for one of the "structures" You will also find "yes but".
I could tell You lots about this but feel that it would be more appropriate for You to find out Yourself in Your own time.
In any event I bid You a day filled with Love, Laughter and Happiness.
Much Love,
David x
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