Question:
Hello,
I'm having Social Phobia and i want to treat it via EFT.
I download the manual and tried EFT but the problem i have is i cannot feel any emotions. I also don't know what causes my social phobia. I only know that my grandfather also had social phobia.
My social phobia is so worse that i only leave my house when it is really necessary.
I'm having also a depression and i'm also a perfectionist. My perfectionism is getting worse since the last 2-3 years. I have alot of troubles to finish a task because i always give up before the end. Because i want fast results and i know i have to work in steps but i can't. Friends of me think often i'm lazy because what i do goes so slow but i'm thinking and thinking instead of working.
Like when i work on something i always think would i do it so or would i do it this way and when i start thinking about my work (webdesigning) i'm thinking on very complicated solultions instead of just starting with my work and doing it in steps.
It's hard to describe it exactly.
Does somebody has some advice for me to start treating my Social Anxiety? Everything started with my Social Anxiety.
Kind Regards,
Kris
Hi Kris,
At first, what you can do is identify one event, of let's say half an hour's duration, in the past when you felt like this. Call this event "Incident X". As yourself if you were to relive this event, would you feel totally comfortable or would there be some discomfort there? If the answer is that there would be some discomfort, then follow this tapping procedure.
Setup
"Even though I have this incident X feeling, I deeply accept myself"
Reminder
"This Incident X feeling"
Keep tapping until the Incident X feeling is one of comfort. If you have to take a break, say if you have been tapping for an hour and feel some residual discomfort, then just continue where you left off later and repeat the procedure until you are comfortable with Incident X.
Repeat with another incident, calling it "Incident X" or if you prefer "Incident Y". Carry on like this with one event after the other till you feel better on a day-to-day basis.
This is my simplified formula for EFT which works over and over again. I find that all those who accept it in its simplicity and don't try to add complexity to it achieve very good results.
Just hang on in there - persistence is the key.
Thanks Suzanne.
I will try to think about an event in the past where i had social phobia and felt very anxious. I will use EFT till i ruled out my social phobia. I know this will take some time because my social phobia is strong.
Do you also have some advice for perfectionism? Some moments of the day when i work my perfectionism is making me crazy. I don't exactly if it is perfectionism or ocd. I'm always so unsure about what i do and i start thinking of very difficult instead of trying to find an easy solution.
The social phobia and perfectionsism have always been linked in the clients I have so far worked with, although you could well be the exception to the rule.
I would take an incident in the past when eg a parent was critial and treat as per the Incident X protocol.
Let us know how you get on :)
Thanks Suzanne.
I will let you know my progress with EFT.
About the perfectionism i cannot remember an incident in the past where my parent(s) were critical to me.
Hi,
Although we are all different, sometimes common themes run through certain issues. So if a parent wasn't critical of you, you might consider others, who you consider were in a position of authority/respect, such as teachers, colleagues, etc who may have been. Of course if this doesn't apply to you then you don't need to tap for it.
With regard to perfectionism, you might look at what is the fear or anxiety behind not being perfect and then use EFT for that.
Otherwise, tapping on statements such as ...
Even though...
I feel this need to be perfect
I stress myself out with my need to be perfect
I feel I have to be perfect
I feel bad unless I do thsi perfectly
Even though I don't know
where this perfectionism need came from
the cause of this...
Your words have more power over the above suggestions I have made so do change them and add to them to make them your own.
Using EFT 'in the moment', that is,when you feel that perfection urge coming on can be effective too. If you can't say it out loud (because you are in a public place) then imagine tapping on yourself and see what you notice.
Best wishes
Currently i'm having my depression feelings again.
I have no energy
Don't see anything postive
feel myself anxious
worrying, ...
I'm trying EFT on this things and also my Social Phobia but i don't feel any relief.
Am i'm doing something wrong?
Hi kris
Often if what we tap on (the words) doesn't seem to have an effect on our issue it can be because we are not quite tapping on the right thing.
For instance, tapping on "I feel depressed" may work for some people but may not be sufficiently specific for someone else.
It might be that you need to drill down below statements such as 'worrying', 'anxious' or even 'depression' and tap on what you think or feel maybe the cause of causes of these feelings.
Also, there is a lady, I think her name is Dr. Ruth Carrington, who has added a positive refinement to EFT. You can find her in the search engines. You may discover that her refinement of adding in a positive statementhelps.
An example is ...
Even though
I feel anxious right now I choose to feel calmer, grounded and more relaxed
and/or
Even though
I don't see anything positive right now I am determined to find inside myself inspiration, energy and all the resources I need to feel free and alive
A great way of adding more energy and maybe more power to EFT is to do it with someone. Do you have a trusted friend or family member who could do it with you?
Keep going kris. I have every faith in your persistence and determination.
Hi kris81,
when you make these statements do you feel anythingas a physical representation in your body? (eg pain in neck, tightness in stomach, ache in knee - could be anything)It might help to focus on this and the release of this tensionas you tap.
Hope you get this sorted,
Sharonxx
Hi Spinalmusic,
Well i'm suffering from neckpain, stomach upset and ache in my knee. I didn't know they are related to the statements?
Thanks for the help guys/girls. I will go on with my EFT till i feel myself again free.
Emotrance - which is rather like EFT -recognises pain as an energetic representation of experience. If you focus on the pain, breathe into it, and your intention is to release it, then the cause of the pain will go too. You can tap as well if you like.
Hi Kris,
Part of being depressed is thinking things like "nothing ever works" a lot of the time. It may be a one-session wonder for many people, but EFT can take up to two years to complete work on an issue. So don't beat yourself up if things aren't going as fast as you would like.
I have just come back in here and saw your post replying to mine about parental criticism. Any perfectionist has been either criticised by someone else or by themselves, so finding these self-critical moments can be helpful. May I suggest a positive approach? Maybe you can imagine a mirror in front of you and tap on all the EFT points that you can remember and say "I accept myself even when I can't". When you feel comfortable with this, stand in front of a real mirror with the light and do the same.
Spinal Music's suggestions are good as are many others on here. I think another thing to bear in mind is tbat it is also a tendency for anyone with a phobia or depression to either panic or feel down if results are not immediate and then because the disease itself convinces then that "it doesn't work", the person then moves onto the next method or technique, and then when the results from that take time, then the sneaky disease does the same trick and the person is convinced to give up and try something else. I think you should take a few suggestions from here and just prersevere. Just remember, even when the sky is full of cold dark clouds, if you look long enough, you will see a ray of warm sunshine peering in. Notice that ray and keep it in your heart, let your soul sing with joy for finding it. There will be more rays of sunshine joining that one in your heart till one day, you will can enjoy all that life has to offer.
Hi New Age London,
I'm doing EFT 1-2hours a day i'm tapping on everythin i feel.
I feel myself empty
i feel myself down
i feel myself hopeless because i don't seeany relief
I will go on with EFT but i hope i will have some relief someday because the depression/anxiety feelings having to much control on my life.
I'm trying to figure out in the past what made me so depressive.
My social anxiety was a part of my life but since a few years the depression came from nowhere and has never gone away.
I'm also tapping on even tough i'm scared that eft never want work, i accept myself...
Any more suggestions ?
Why not check for energy toxins. For exampleCheck what your eating or drinking. This is covered in the EFT Manual. Quite alot of people seem to forget about this course of action. EFT Therapist's should always be aware of toxin's especially when EFT appears not to work.
Carl
If you are depressed, I bet you anything you like you can find a day, last week or maybe this week when you were particularly depressed. If you have a social phobia, there simply must be an event that happened recently to persuade you that you still have a social phobia. What happened? Did you leave the front door, go meet a friend and felt awkward making conversation? Whatever happened is the Incident X I talk about.
Tapping on feeling empty is great and could offer some relief after a few months but it is too general. You can feel much better when you see results, like numbers coming down on various incidents rather than a general feeling. Can you work with a therapist? An experienced EFT practitioner can easily help you find incidents, quickly tell you if you have an energy toxin or not and show you how to proceed. If you can't afford a practitioner, how about the Borrowing Benefits DVDs? These are therapy with Gary Craig himself and you "borrow" the benefits of the person he is doing the therapy on, tapping along to them. You can get them copied from someone who has them if you can't buy them.
I'm having Social Phobia and i want to treat it via EFT.
I download the manual and tried EFT but the problem i have is i cannot feel any emotions. I also don't know what causes my social phobia. I only know that my grandfather also had social phobia.
My social phobia is so worse that i only leave my house when it is really necessary.
I'm having also a depression and i'm also a perfectionist. My perfectionism is getting worse since the last 2-3 years. I have alot of troubles to finish a task because i always give up before the end. Because i want fast results and i know i have to work in steps but i can't. Friends of me think often i'm lazy because what i do goes so slow but i'm thinking and thinking instead of working.
Like when i work on something i always think would i do it so or would i do it this way and when i start thinking about my work (webdesigning) i'm thinking on very complicated solultions instead of just starting with my work and doing it in steps.
It's hard to describe it exactly.
Does somebody has some advice for me to start treating my Social Anxiety? Everything started with my Social Anxiety.
Kind Regards,
Kris
Answers:
Hi Kris,
At first, what you can do is identify one event, of let's say half an hour's duration, in the past when you felt like this. Call this event "Incident X". As yourself if you were to relive this event, would you feel totally comfortable or would there be some discomfort there? If the answer is that there would be some discomfort, then follow this tapping procedure.
Setup
"Even though I have this incident X feeling, I deeply accept myself"
Reminder
"This Incident X feeling"
Keep tapping until the Incident X feeling is one of comfort. If you have to take a break, say if you have been tapping for an hour and feel some residual discomfort, then just continue where you left off later and repeat the procedure until you are comfortable with Incident X.
Repeat with another incident, calling it "Incident X" or if you prefer "Incident Y". Carry on like this with one event after the other till you feel better on a day-to-day basis.
This is my simplified formula for EFT which works over and over again. I find that all those who accept it in its simplicity and don't try to add complexity to it achieve very good results.
Just hang on in there - persistence is the key.
Answers:
Thanks Suzanne.
I will try to think about an event in the past where i had social phobia and felt very anxious. I will use EFT till i ruled out my social phobia. I know this will take some time because my social phobia is strong.
Do you also have some advice for perfectionism? Some moments of the day when i work my perfectionism is making me crazy. I don't exactly if it is perfectionism or ocd. I'm always so unsure about what i do and i start thinking of very difficult instead of trying to find an easy solution.
Answers:
The social phobia and perfectionsism have always been linked in the clients I have so far worked with, although you could well be the exception to the rule.
I would take an incident in the past when eg a parent was critial and treat as per the Incident X protocol.
Let us know how you get on :)
Answers:
Thanks Suzanne.
I will let you know my progress with EFT.
About the perfectionism i cannot remember an incident in the past where my parent(s) were critical to me.
Answers:
Hi,
Although we are all different, sometimes common themes run through certain issues. So if a parent wasn't critical of you, you might consider others, who you consider were in a position of authority/respect, such as teachers, colleagues, etc who may have been. Of course if this doesn't apply to you then you don't need to tap for it.
With regard to perfectionism, you might look at what is the fear or anxiety behind not being perfect and then use EFT for that.
Otherwise, tapping on statements such as ...
Even though...
I feel this need to be perfect
I stress myself out with my need to be perfect
I feel I have to be perfect
I feel bad unless I do thsi perfectly
Even though I don't know
where this perfectionism need came from
the cause of this...
Your words have more power over the above suggestions I have made so do change them and add to them to make them your own.
Using EFT 'in the moment', that is,when you feel that perfection urge coming on can be effective too. If you can't say it out loud (because you are in a public place) then imagine tapping on yourself and see what you notice.
Best wishes
Answers:
Currently i'm having my depression feelings again.
I have no energy
Don't see anything postive
feel myself anxious
worrying, ...
I'm trying EFT on this things and also my Social Phobia but i don't feel any relief.
Am i'm doing something wrong?
Answers:
Hi kris
Often if what we tap on (the words) doesn't seem to have an effect on our issue it can be because we are not quite tapping on the right thing.
For instance, tapping on "I feel depressed" may work for some people but may not be sufficiently specific for someone else.
It might be that you need to drill down below statements such as 'worrying', 'anxious' or even 'depression' and tap on what you think or feel maybe the cause of causes of these feelings.
Also, there is a lady, I think her name is Dr. Ruth Carrington, who has added a positive refinement to EFT. You can find her in the search engines. You may discover that her refinement of adding in a positive statementhelps.
An example is ...
Even though
I feel anxious right now I choose to feel calmer, grounded and more relaxed
and/or
Even though
I don't see anything positive right now I am determined to find inside myself inspiration, energy and all the resources I need to feel free and alive
A great way of adding more energy and maybe more power to EFT is to do it with someone. Do you have a trusted friend or family member who could do it with you?
Keep going kris. I have every faith in your persistence and determination.
Answers:
Hi kris81,
when you make these statements do you feel anythingas a physical representation in your body? (eg pain in neck, tightness in stomach, ache in knee - could be anything)It might help to focus on this and the release of this tensionas you tap.
Hope you get this sorted,
Sharonxx
Answers:
Hi Spinalmusic,
Well i'm suffering from neckpain, stomach upset and ache in my knee. I didn't know they are related to the statements?
Thanks for the help guys/girls. I will go on with my EFT till i feel myself again free.
Answers:
Emotrance - which is rather like EFT -recognises pain as an energetic representation of experience. If you focus on the pain, breathe into it, and your intention is to release it, then the cause of the pain will go too. You can tap as well if you like.
Answers:
Hi Kris,
Part of being depressed is thinking things like "nothing ever works" a lot of the time. It may be a one-session wonder for many people, but EFT can take up to two years to complete work on an issue. So don't beat yourself up if things aren't going as fast as you would like.
I have just come back in here and saw your post replying to mine about parental criticism. Any perfectionist has been either criticised by someone else or by themselves, so finding these self-critical moments can be helpful. May I suggest a positive approach? Maybe you can imagine a mirror in front of you and tap on all the EFT points that you can remember and say "I accept myself even when I can't". When you feel comfortable with this, stand in front of a real mirror with the light and do the same.
Spinal Music's suggestions are good as are many others on here. I think another thing to bear in mind is tbat it is also a tendency for anyone with a phobia or depression to either panic or feel down if results are not immediate and then because the disease itself convinces then that "it doesn't work", the person then moves onto the next method or technique, and then when the results from that take time, then the sneaky disease does the same trick and the person is convinced to give up and try something else. I think you should take a few suggestions from here and just prersevere. Just remember, even when the sky is full of cold dark clouds, if you look long enough, you will see a ray of warm sunshine peering in. Notice that ray and keep it in your heart, let your soul sing with joy for finding it. There will be more rays of sunshine joining that one in your heart till one day, you will can enjoy all that life has to offer.
Answers:
Hi New Age London,
I'm doing EFT 1-2hours a day i'm tapping on everythin i feel.
I feel myself empty
i feel myself down
i feel myself hopeless because i don't seeany relief
I will go on with EFT but i hope i will have some relief someday because the depression/anxiety feelings having to much control on my life.
I'm trying to figure out in the past what made me so depressive.
My social anxiety was a part of my life but since a few years the depression came from nowhere and has never gone away.
I'm also tapping on even tough i'm scared that eft never want work, i accept myself...
Any more suggestions ?
Answers:
Why not check for energy toxins. For exampleCheck what your eating or drinking. This is covered in the EFT Manual. Quite alot of people seem to forget about this course of action. EFT Therapist's should always be aware of toxin's especially when EFT appears not to work.
Carl
Answers:
If you are depressed, I bet you anything you like you can find a day, last week or maybe this week when you were particularly depressed. If you have a social phobia, there simply must be an event that happened recently to persuade you that you still have a social phobia. What happened? Did you leave the front door, go meet a friend and felt awkward making conversation? Whatever happened is the Incident X I talk about.
Tapping on feeling empty is great and could offer some relief after a few months but it is too general. You can feel much better when you see results, like numbers coming down on various incidents rather than a general feeling. Can you work with a therapist? An experienced EFT practitioner can easily help you find incidents, quickly tell you if you have an energy toxin or not and show you how to proceed. If you can't afford a practitioner, how about the Borrowing Benefits DVDs? These are therapy with Gary Craig himself and you "borrow" the benefits of the person he is doing the therapy on, tapping along to them. You can get them copied from someone who has them if you can't buy them.
1 2