Question:
Hi Everyone
In the last week I've been reading 'Homecoming' by John Bradshaw, and feel I am needing to address Inner Child issues. One of the first exercises requires you writing a name to your inner child.
Now, I have a problem with that. I changed my first name 15 years ago. It is the name I dream in, the name I give myself wee pep talks in, and is the name when called randomly in the street I respond to. I have colleagues who have the same name as my 'birth certificate' name and I don't flinch when people call out that name (either in the work environment, or in the street). I have no attachment to that name. My parents even call be by my current name. As an aside, old aunts don't - and it p*sses me off. Furthermore, when I've spoken about my childhood to counsellors I've recited past conversations like: "My mother said 'Ava you are a selfish little girl' ". So I have taken the new name and superimposed it over the old name/history.
For ease let's say my Birth Certificate Name = XXX.
This is a very long-winded way of asking: when I am writing a letter to my inner child, which name should I use? Little Ava, or Little XXX? I don't feel any attachment to the old name, so Little XXX feels like someone else. But I understand that my history, and childhood memories were constructed with the XXX name. But there is no Big XXX. Only Big Ava. So the letter would be Dear Little XXX, with love from Big Ava.
What do you think? I'm very interested to hear what people suggest.
Ava
oh gawd Ava;) no wonder your inner child is confused!:D
Well my advice would be to first do an inner child meditation and when your inner child comes before you, ask her what her name is? I feel sure your inner child is very confused indeed, not only does she feel alienated but she may not know what her name is or why her name has been changed. So there is going to be quite a lot of sorting out to do here. You sound very talented so feel you will work it out together. However, it is vital that you let the inner child do all the talking and you do the supporting and explanation of her questions and problems. Help her to resolve her problems and empower her with positivity to agree with you on the possible solutions.
Be prepared she may not wish to speak to you much on the first go, because in a way by changing your name she might feel like you have divorced her. She might be angry with you and not like you very much for having done this. However, keep trying as you would with your very own child, eventually she will come around to your way of thinking or at the very least you will come to a compromise.
Most of all love her beyond measure and give her lots of hugs.
Do let us know how you get on this could be a very interesting case study.
being love
Kim xx
Hi Ava
I am also working through the John Bradshaw book and agree with Sacredstar that an inner child meditation would help with your dilemma about the name of your inner child. I have done several inner child meditations and at first my inner child was reluctant to talk to me because she didn't trust anyone, but with perseverence she was willing to talk freely and begin to trust again, although there is still a long way to go.
If you give your inner child lots of time, patience, understanding and kindness I'm sure you will begin to see some real differences. Good luck. It will be interesting to hear how you are getting on.
Sandra
x
I wish you could have heard the groan I made when I read your reply Kim. One of my boyfriends used to say that I was A glutton for punishment. If ever there is a difficult way... I always manage to find it. To sebenny as well, the Inner Child meditation worked fine. We have chosen a name, and it came to us straight away. It was my pet name as a child. We are both happy with that. And I remain Big Sister Ava, which feels right. I have given my child-self Reiki, when I went for my Reiki second level, donkey's ages ago. So, I'd met myself as a child before. But we'd not exchanged names.
I work with computers, and I am so frustrated that I can't just reinstall my operating system again. Oh how simple things would be. Dum de dum.
Ava x
In the last week I've been reading 'Homecoming' by John Bradshaw, and feel I am needing to address Inner Child issues. One of the first exercises requires you writing a name to your inner child.
Now, I have a problem with that. I changed my first name 15 years ago. It is the name I dream in, the name I give myself wee pep talks in, and is the name when called randomly in the street I respond to. I have colleagues who have the same name as my 'birth certificate' name and I don't flinch when people call out that name (either in the work environment, or in the street). I have no attachment to that name. My parents even call be by my current name. As an aside, old aunts don't - and it p*sses me off. Furthermore, when I've spoken about my childhood to counsellors I've recited past conversations like: "My mother said 'Ava you are a selfish little girl' ". So I have taken the new name and superimposed it over the old name/history.
For ease let's say my Birth Certificate Name = XXX.
This is a very long-winded way of asking: when I am writing a letter to my inner child, which name should I use? Little Ava, or Little XXX? I don't feel any attachment to the old name, so Little XXX feels like someone else. But I understand that my history, and childhood memories were constructed with the XXX name. But there is no Big XXX. Only Big Ava. So the letter would be Dear Little XXX, with love from Big Ava.
What do you think? I'm very interested to hear what people suggest.
Ava
Answers:
oh gawd Ava;) no wonder your inner child is confused!:D
Well my advice would be to first do an inner child meditation and when your inner child comes before you, ask her what her name is? I feel sure your inner child is very confused indeed, not only does she feel alienated but she may not know what her name is or why her name has been changed. So there is going to be quite a lot of sorting out to do here. You sound very talented so feel you will work it out together. However, it is vital that you let the inner child do all the talking and you do the supporting and explanation of her questions and problems. Help her to resolve her problems and empower her with positivity to agree with you on the possible solutions.
Be prepared she may not wish to speak to you much on the first go, because in a way by changing your name she might feel like you have divorced her. She might be angry with you and not like you very much for having done this. However, keep trying as you would with your very own child, eventually she will come around to your way of thinking or at the very least you will come to a compromise.
Most of all love her beyond measure and give her lots of hugs.
Do let us know how you get on this could be a very interesting case study.
being love
Kim xx
Answers:
Hi Ava
I am also working through the John Bradshaw book and agree with Sacredstar that an inner child meditation would help with your dilemma about the name of your inner child. I have done several inner child meditations and at first my inner child was reluctant to talk to me because she didn't trust anyone, but with perseverence she was willing to talk freely and begin to trust again, although there is still a long way to go.
If you give your inner child lots of time, patience, understanding and kindness I'm sure you will begin to see some real differences. Good luck. It will be interesting to hear how you are getting on.
Sandra
x
Answers:
I wish you could have heard the groan I made when I read your reply Kim. One of my boyfriends used to say that I was A glutton for punishment. If ever there is a difficult way... I always manage to find it. To sebenny as well, the Inner Child meditation worked fine. We have chosen a name, and it came to us straight away. It was my pet name as a child. We are both happy with that. And I remain Big Sister Ava, which feels right. I have given my child-self Reiki, when I went for my Reiki second level, donkey's ages ago. So, I'd met myself as a child before. But we'd not exchanged names.
I work with computers, and I am so frustrated that I can't just reinstall my operating system again. Oh how simple things would be. Dum de dum.
Ava x
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