Question:
At the time last autumn of serious discussion here about the draft occupational standards, in a bored moment I put together a spoof set of guidelines for Reiki people who would be driven “underground” by proposed new legislation, prompted by a couple of posts which hinted at this. I decided not to post them at that time. Here they are:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guidelines for Non-Conformist Reiki Masters and Practitioners:
* It is inadvisable to waft about in flowing purple or golden robes. Ripped jeans and trainers are recommended
* Avoid wearing heavy jewellery – the resultant stoop could lead one to be mistaken for a healer who has spent too long at a badly adjusted treatment couch
* To confuse the sniffer dogs – human or canine – resist the urge to burn incense. Boiled cabbage or poached kippers are preferable to put them off the scent and thus avoid detection. Cats pee would be a dead give-away and only make matters worse
* Offer substantial discount to students to arrive disguised as tradesmen in lettered vans
* Keep the curtains closed at all times. Purchase of a light box is advisable to compensate for lack of daylight
* Exercise caution that a student is not accidentally slapped around the head if a knock on the door should happen in the middle of an attunement, causing you to guiltily jump half out of your skin
* Insurance against discovery and punishment is worth the search, if it can be obtained
* Manuals are best written in code and should be presented in plain brown wrappers
* In the event of failure to avoid detection by following the above, it is recommended that you establish a firm and rapid connection to your guides and ask to be projected through time and space in the manner of a distant attunement or healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please all feel free to add to this ... I'm sure there must be more precautions to be taken.:)
Holistic
hehehe love it Holistic
Thought many of them already where[sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=1syellow1.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=jump1.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]
Preparations from frogs should be avoided as well. Furthermore, they could upset vegatarian and vegan students.
Artemis
I love these guidelines and stick to them every day..
[sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]
Love it!
Bee
Hi Holistic,
I hope you don't mind me having turned your guidelines into principles.
Artemis
just for today...
I will waer flowing purple
I wil not wear heavy jewellery
I will boil cabbage
I will not slap students in the midle of an attunement
I will teach my course in code language
I will ask my guides to helpw ith all of the above.
Mind? Of course I don’t mind :D – I’m delighted, and thank you for your inputs. Only shortage of time and a mountain of paperwork prevented me from posting yesterday in reply to your very wise advice to avoid preparations from frogs.
Perhaps as an alternative to suspect brews, cauldrons should be abandoned in favour of a lunchtime snack of magic mushrooms on toast, acceptable to all diets and could go some way to alleviating the mounting anxiety of students partaking in this underground activity.
A further oversight on my part … advertising and publicity. Perhaps someone can come up with a subversive alternative to “Reiki Master offers attunements and healing”?
Thanks to everyone else for their replies.:)
Holistic
We could put cards in phone boxes...
Japanese lessons... not very strict; but pain from any slapped heads relieved....
Chris
Erm, could perhaps give the wrong impression, even for underground Reiki Masters LOL
Holistic
As legislation is again being discussed, and we have some new members, I just thought I'd give this one a little *bump* ;)
Should you be caught in the act of attunement tell them you are a practicing mime......thus ensureing your plea of lunacy will be successful.:D
Sorry Laura,
I'm afraid my muse doesn't appear to be active today:eek:
think... think... think... think...think... think...think....
Sorry, still nothing[&:]
No...no...no...no...no...no...no, dearest azalia, that is Incorrect. What you must do is allow your intuition [sm=idea.gif]... and then direct it. That is the Correct way to spoof ;)
wolfen, thank you for your contribution.:D
Laura.
Hi Holistic
Love the guidelines.
[sm=cool-smiley-013.gif]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guidelines for Non-Conformist Reiki Masters and Practitioners:
* It is inadvisable to waft about in flowing purple or golden robes. Ripped jeans and trainers are recommended
* Avoid wearing heavy jewellery – the resultant stoop could lead one to be mistaken for a healer who has spent too long at a badly adjusted treatment couch
* To confuse the sniffer dogs – human or canine – resist the urge to burn incense. Boiled cabbage or poached kippers are preferable to put them off the scent and thus avoid detection. Cats pee would be a dead give-away and only make matters worse
* Offer substantial discount to students to arrive disguised as tradesmen in lettered vans
* Keep the curtains closed at all times. Purchase of a light box is advisable to compensate for lack of daylight
* Exercise caution that a student is not accidentally slapped around the head if a knock on the door should happen in the middle of an attunement, causing you to guiltily jump half out of your skin
* Insurance against discovery and punishment is worth the search, if it can be obtained
* Manuals are best written in code and should be presented in plain brown wrappers
* In the event of failure to avoid detection by following the above, it is recommended that you establish a firm and rapid connection to your guides and ask to be projected through time and space in the manner of a distant attunement or healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please all feel free to add to this ... I'm sure there must be more precautions to be taken.:)
Holistic
Answers:
hehehe love it Holistic
Thought many of them already where[sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=1syellow1.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=jump1.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]
Answers:
Preparations from frogs should be avoided as well. Furthermore, they could upset vegatarian and vegan students.
Artemis
Answers:
I love these guidelines and stick to them every day..
Answers:
[sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]
Love it!
Bee
Answers:
Hi Holistic,
I hope you don't mind me having turned your guidelines into principles.
Artemis
just for today...
I will waer flowing purple
I wil not wear heavy jewellery
I will boil cabbage
I will not slap students in the midle of an attunement
I will teach my course in code language
I will ask my guides to helpw ith all of the above.
Answers:
Mind? Of course I don’t mind :D – I’m delighted, and thank you for your inputs. Only shortage of time and a mountain of paperwork prevented me from posting yesterday in reply to your very wise advice to avoid preparations from frogs.
Perhaps as an alternative to suspect brews, cauldrons should be abandoned in favour of a lunchtime snack of magic mushrooms on toast, acceptable to all diets and could go some way to alleviating the mounting anxiety of students partaking in this underground activity.
A further oversight on my part … advertising and publicity. Perhaps someone can come up with a subversive alternative to “Reiki Master offers attunements and healing”?
Thanks to everyone else for their replies.:)
Holistic
Answers:
We could put cards in phone boxes...
Japanese lessons... not very strict; but pain from any slapped heads relieved....
Chris
Answers:
Erm, could perhaps give the wrong impression, even for underground Reiki Masters LOL
Holistic
Answers:
As legislation is again being discussed, and we have some new members, I just thought I'd give this one a little *bump* ;)
Answers:
Should you be caught in the act of attunement tell them you are a practicing mime......thus ensureing your plea of lunacy will be successful.:D
Answers:
Sorry Laura,
I'm afraid my muse doesn't appear to be active today:eek:
think... think... think... think...think... think...think....
Sorry, still nothing[&:]
Answers:
No...no...no...no...no...no...no, dearest azalia, that is Incorrect. What you must do is allow your intuition [sm=idea.gif]... and then direct it. That is the Correct way to spoof ;)
wolfen, thank you for your contribution.:D
Laura.
Answers:
Hi Holistic
Love the guidelines.
[sm=cool-smiley-013.gif]
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